Severance or notice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Give her notice now, but make the severance contingent on her staying until the first week of December. If she was really good, you could assist her in finding a new job by posting on your neighborhood list serve or here.

Also, write her a recommendation letter and offer to be a reference.

Don't feel bad, OP. You're not a bad person. Things change and jobs end and your nanny will find a new job.


No one said she was a bad person, but why shouldn't she feel bad? This is a shitty thing to do right before the holidays. She has to look out for her family of course, but it is selfish, and she is screwing her nanny. She also was planning to do either severance OR notice, instead of both like a normal person.

She shouldn't feel bad because her life circumstances changed and she is responsibly taking care of her family. Yes, it is unfortunate that it is before the holidays, but life happens, and not always at an ideal time. OP isn't doing something intentionally "shitty" thing TO her nanny and she's not "screwing" her nanny.

Her nanny will find a new job. In the meantime, OP has a generous severance planned and a bonus for a six month nanny.

People get laid off all the time, and you'd be surprised at how often it happens at holiday time. Life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Give her notice now, but make the severance contingent on her staying until the first week of December. If she was really good, you could assist her in finding a new job by posting on your neighborhood list serve or here.

Also, write her a recommendation letter and offer to be a reference.

Don't feel bad, OP. You're not a bad person. Things change and jobs end and your nanny will find a new job.


No one said she was a bad person, but why shouldn't she feel bad? This is a shitty thing to do right before the holidays. She has to look out for her family of course, but it is selfish, and she is screwing her nanny. She also was planning to do either severance OR notice, instead of both like a normal person.

She shouldn't feel bad because her life circumstances changed and she is responsibly taking care of her family. Yes, it is unfortunate that it is before the holidays, but life happens, and not always at an ideal time. OP isn't doing something intentionally "shitty" thing TO her nanny and she's not "screwing" her nanny.

Her nanny will find a new job. In the meantime, OP has a generous severance planned and a bonus for a six month nanny.

People get laid off all the time, and you'd be surprised at how often it happens at holiday time. Life goes on.

Feeling bad doesn't mean you've done something wrong necessarily, it just means that you recognize that your choice to look out for your self is hurting someone else. A good person would feel bad about that. A selfish person would not. OP was planning severance OR notice, not both. Not exactly generous or thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt a nanny who quits and gives little notice is feeling bad about hurting someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt a nanny who quits and gives little notice is feeling bad about hurting someone else.

I disagree, but fail to see your point or what that has to do with the thread.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should work on that reading comprehension, 18:36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her notice now, but make the severance contingent on her staying until the first week of December. If she was really good, you could assist her in finding a new job by posting on your neighborhood list serve or here.

Also, write her a recommendation letter and offer to be a reference.

Don't feel bad, OP. You're not a bad person. Things change and jobs end and your nanny will find a new job.

I agree with this PP - tell her now, make payout contingent on staying until end date; if she leaves earlier it should be for a new job and you can reevaluate whether you still want to give severance, etc if she's left early and is already employed.

It is not selfish to end her employment. You're not doing it out of spite; you've had a change of circumstances. Try to do your best by her but don't feel guilty that the job needs to end. It's not your responsibility to protect someone else's feelings at the expense of your family's financial security.

I agree with this also - especially the part about the severance pay-out being contingent on her working through the time you need.

Your severance is generous for a 6 months tenure, but if you can find a way to give her even more time to prepare (and still get the coverage you need) then you can feel good about what you need to do.

If you have any concerns about her reaction/behavior/reliability etc... then that is an argument for not telling her until her last day. But that's only if you have concerns.