Opinions Bipolar Nannies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny with bipolar. I was raped when I was 12 and about 2 yrs ago was raped again suffered post and it was triggered. My nanny family was amazing. I told them. They were doctors. At the time I had been working for them for nearly 5 yrs. The children were always safe. I had some up days and down days as my Dr's got me on the right medications.
They moved away. I started interviewing for a new job. I never disclosed my bipolar because of the stigma attached to it. I take my meds every single day. I am not someone who thinks I can function without it. The family has no idea. And honestly I feel better on the meds. I also work out a few times a week to keep my mood balanced.
The oldest child once saw a pill bottle in my purse that made me nervous. I told her it was vitamins.

I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm really impressed by how well you've handled it. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

There is just too much stigma still attached to mental illness these days to risk disclosing to an employer that you have bipoloar disorder.

People will automatically think of that nanny who stabbed those children in New York in the bathroom or some other horrific story and when it comes to their kids, no one can risk anything. Understandably so.

Plus, why in the world would anyone tell their bosses they had a mental disorder? What would be the benefit of it....??! Unless someone was a live-in and the bosses discovered their nanny was on meds.

In theory, I would much prefer a medicated nanny who took her meds regularly and was stable then a nanny who wasn't diagnosed properly and wasn't on any meds and was just a time bomb ticking....tick tick tick. Waiting to go off any day, moment, minute. Etc.

[Anonymous]

I think people with such a disorder should NOT work around children. Find something else to do, please, office job or whatever, but don't be responsible for little lives !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people with such a disorder should NOT work around children. Find something else to do, please, office job or whatever, but don't be responsible for little lives !

+1000

More people here are concerned about their "right" to do whatever they want, they have absolutely 0 consideration for the impact their choices may have. You nannies with mental disorders should not be working with children, you should show good judgement and find a new profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people with such a disorder should NOT work around children. Find something else to do, please, office job or whatever, but don't be responsible for little lives !

+1000

More people here are concerned about their "right" to do whatever they want, they have absolutely 0 consideration for the impact their choices may have. You nannies with mental disorders should not be working with children, you should show good judgement and find a new profession.

I'm sure you think all children with mentally ill mothers should be removed from their care, right? And that mentally ill women should not be allowed to have children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people with such a disorder should NOT work around children. Find something else to do, please, office job or whatever, but don't be responsible for little lives !

+1000

More people here are concerned about their "right" to do whatever they want, they have absolutely 0 consideration for the impact their choices may have. You nannies with mental disorders should not be working with children, you should show good judgement and find a new profession.

I'm sure you think all children with mentally ill mothers should be removed from their care, right? And that mentally ill women should not be allowed to have children?

Just trying to pick a fight?

[Anonymous]

The only reason to disclose a medical condition of any sort is if you think you will need accommodations or might have a sudden episode that would affect your work or your ability to keep the children safe.

If the accommodations are that people need to be prepared for you to need time off to manage your moods, then you should expect to not be hired. Same for a physical condition for which someone suffers flare-ups. Sick leave usually covers enough days to get you through colds or something like that; if you can assume you'll use all your sick leave for your condition, you're going to leave parents wondering how much time off you're going to need.

If none of those things apply, then there is no need to disclose anything. If you have an emergency at some point, presumably you'll deal with it then.

As a MB, when a potential nanny discloses a condition, I assume it's because she knows it may affect her work or reliability, and I am now on notice about it. If she has one and doesn't tell me, well, if it's never a problem then why do I need to know?

[Anonymous]

OP, I live with bipolar disorder and I was a nanny for many years. As you see from the replies ,and I'm sure you from your life the response you get to disclosing our illness is varied.
The choice to disclose is up to you, but before you do so you should think long and hard about why you want to and maybe talk it over with therapist.
Bipolar is nothing to be ashamed of but once it's out there it is out there unfortunately there is still much stigma in our society about bipolar and you may not get the response you want.
In my professional career I disclosed twice
Once when a teen I cared for was diagnosed with the disorder. In that case the response was positive it was a comfort to the teen and the parents to know someone that was an adult living with the disorder and living a "normal life"

The second disclosure was to a nanny friend I had this was in late 2012 around the time that nanny murdered her charges in New York and New town so fears surrounding mental illness where at an all time high. Well this nanny went behind my back and told my employers she felt it was her duty for the safety of the children. I was let go. At this point I had been with the family for 2 years and just received an excellent review but MB said she couldn't take chances. So that was that it hurt at the time but I went on to find another job that was wonderful.
Which brings me to my final point , you need to be honest with yourself as ,you and I know bipolar is a draining disease and the work of a nanny takes a lot out of you.
Are you up to it? Something to talk about with your therapist.
People with bipolar can and do make wonderful nannies.
I had a great career as a nanny and truly enjoyed it, but just this last August I decided to retire. I am no longer up to the long days and the stress that comes with managing children and family 50 or so hours a week.
The children I have cared for have never received less because of my illness and I never wanted them to .It was time to say goodbye.
I now work a job with a more flexible schedule and volunteer with children as a story reader and baby cuddler at a shelter in my home town.
Good luck to you and take care of yourself

[Anonymous]

I would hire someone with a known illness that is managed.

I had a nanny who suffered from a blood clot in her lung while watching my daughter. She came for their daily visit and told me she didn't feel right, she also looked pale and out of breath. A co worker of mine took her to the Er. Had she not gone in there is a chance she could have died while caring for my child. That now scares me more than a controlled illness. She came back to work for us after she was cleared medically and I knew she was taking her medication and i was comfortable and still trusted her because she knew the risks and made sure to keep on top of it.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only MB who doesn't want to know? I would worry that whatever condition someone told me they had, outside of something really simple to accommodate like allergies, or something the person had had no issues with for a very long (like 5+ years) time like hypothyroid or diabetes, would mean that I needed to do something to make sure additional safeguards were in place in case the nanny had issues at work, or the illness took a turn.

I wouldn't know how to prepare for someone else's worst-case scenario as well as making sure my kids were always safe. For example, if someone told me they were in treatment for infrequent panic attacks that started in the last year, I would feel like I needed to have a contingency plan in place if the nanny had one while driving the kids. If someone told me they had recently-diagnosed diabetes, I would feel like I needed to somehow be able to know if she had a problem (worst case, a coma) at work. I am one person; I'm not sure I could take this on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only MB who doesn't want to know? I would worry that whatever condition someone told me they had, outside of something really simple to accommodate like allergies, or something the person had had no issues with for a very long (like 5+ years) time like hypothyroid or diabetes, would mean that I needed to do something to make sure additional safeguards were in place in case the nanny had issues at work, or the illness took a turn.

I wouldn't know how to prepare for someone else's worst-case scenario as well as making sure my kids were always safe. For example, if someone told me they were in treatment for infrequent panic attacks that started in the last year, I would feel like I needed to have a contingency plan in place if the nanny had one while driving the kids. If someone told me they had recently-diagnosed diabetes, I would feel like I needed to somehow be able to know if she had a problem (worst case, a coma) at work. I am one person; I'm not sure I could take this on.

I don't understand. You don't want to know because you couldn't handle it and would be afraid something would go wrong? So you just want to stick your head in the sand? Then if you don't know and something does go wrong, does that make you feel better? I think that if you couldn't handle it, then it's something you should know so you don't hire someone with a physical or mental illness that would be a concern for you. I'm the PP who found out after hiring that our nanny has an anxiety disorder. I wouldn't have hired her if I'd known. Not due to an automatic prejudice, but we were specifially hiring for someone who could handle behavioral issues. REcently, issues have come up around honesty and misuse of petty cash, and I'm currently considering letting her go. Part of the problem is also the effect I feel her anxiety disorder may be having on my children, who are adopted and have been diagnosed ODD and ADHD - we need someone who is really grounded and not so moody, and also can live the same values we have in our family, i.e. trust and honesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only MB who doesn't want to know? I would worry that whatever condition someone told me they had, outside of something really simple to accommodate like allergies, or something the person had had no issues with for a very long (like 5+ years) time like hypothyroid or diabetes, would mean that I needed to do something to make sure additional safeguards were in place in case the nanny had issues at work, or the illness took a turn.

I wouldn't know how to prepare for someone else's worst-case scenario as well as making sure my kids were always safe. For example, if someone told me they were in treatment for infrequent panic attacks that started in the last year, I would feel like I needed to have a contingency plan in place if the nanny had one while driving the kids. If someone told me they had recently-diagnosed diabetes, I would feel like I needed to somehow be able to know if she had a problem (worst case, a coma) at work. I am one person; I'm not sure I could take this on.

I don't understand. You don't want to know because you couldn't handle it and would be afraid something would go wrong? So you just want to stick your head in the sand? Then if you don't know and something does go wrong, does that make you feel better? I think that if you couldn't handle it, then it's something you should know so you don't hire someone with a physical or mental illness that would be a concern for you. I'm the PP who found out after hiring that our nanny has an anxiety disorder. I wouldn't have hired her if I'd known. Not due to an automatic prejudice, but we were specifially hiring for someone who could handle behavioral issues. REcently, issues have come up around honesty and misuse of petty cash, and I'm currently considering letting her go. Part of the problem is also the effect I feel her anxiety disorder may be having on my children, who are adopted and have been diagnosed ODD and ADHD - we need someone who is really grounded and not so moody, and also can live the same values we have in our family, i.e. trust and honesty.

I understand your perspective, but I don't want to know because I feel like if the candidate is certain her condition will not affect her work, I don't need to know. If it ultimately does, then we can make a decision about continued employment at that time. If she tells me in advance, it puts me in exactly the position all of the above posters describe, of having to either pass on her because I just don't know what will happen (and feeling like a jerk), or hiring her and then having no real leg to stand on if we decide the condition is, in fact, a problem.

So, I guess my position is that I don't care if you have a chronic condition, as long as you understand that it's your responsibility to manage it, not mine.

[Anonymous]

Came onto this post because I'm 15 and I'm going to study childcare in September in college and hope to become a nanny. I have not been diagnosed with bipolar but I match the criteria and even if I don't have it I do have random manic episodes and also depressive episodes. I have also suffered with eating issues/self harm etc. Do you think I should quickly rethink my life and choose something else as no one would want to hire a nanny with mental issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who has mental issues, I can't risk it with my kids just to be P.C.

Sorry, there's 1000000s of other jobs out there, you don't need mine and I don't need you.

If she tells you then she is as fool. Otherwise, you have no way of knowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who has mental issues, I can't risk it with my kids just to be P.C.

Sorry, there's 1000000s of other jobs out there, you don't need mine and I don't need you.

If she tells you then she is as fool. Otherwise, you have no way of knowing.