How does a nanny share work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

Actually, I read it as in the OP planning to pay 70% of the salary on account of being a host and enjoying the advantage of light housework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

Actually, I read it as in the OP planning to pay 70% of the salary on account of being a host and enjoying the advantage of light housework.

This is still a recipe for disaster. With such an imbalance, OP will inevitably feel that the nanny is "hers" and there to serve mostly the needs of her family. The other child will just be a discount, along for the ride. Good luck finding your suckers OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

Actually, I read it as in the OP planning to pay 70% of the salary on account of being a host and enjoying the advantage of light housework.

This is still a recipe for disaster. With such an imbalance, OP will inevitably feel that the nanny is "hers" and there to serve mostly the needs of her family. The other child will just be a discount, along for the ride. Good luck finding your suckers OP.

Why are you being so mean? She's just here looking for answers. If someone hasn't done a share in the past, they wouldn't know how it's done, that's why she's asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

Umm.. why are you assuming I want to pay 30% of her salary. I want to pay 70% and the other family 30%. I was just asking what the norm is. Again there is no reason to attack me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What county are you in, OP?

We are in Arlington County.

Oh, so you know it's illegal there?

Why are so many people on DCUM so snarky. I was merely posting a question. I don't understand all the snarky responses. I am familiar with the regulations. So long as the nanny share is in compliance with the regulations, we would not need a family daycare license

Telling you the truth isn't snarky. You may call their office yourself if you want further clarification. They specifically told me that nanny shares are illegal in Arlington.

These. http://arlingtonva.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2014/02/file672361.pdf

Please see section 59-18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that you are really prepared for the challenges of a share. Your line of questioning is all "me me me" and a share just doesn't work that way. You're going to have to compromise. You're not going to have everything your way. Everything may not be 100% equal all of the time, but you should purposefully set it up to be that way (nanny doing housework at your home during time you share with another family). You need to consider if this is really for you. If you're just looking to save money, while basically expecting to have your own personal nanny, you will be disappointed.

Completely agree with this PP. A nanny share means you split a nanny; if you are using her for the same hours, it is crazy to me that you would expect to pay only 30% of her salary and I highly doubt anybody would be interested in paying 70% of a nanny's salary for only 50% of her attention. A nanny share is much, much more than simply splitting a salary -- it is making sure all three parties are happy and benefiting and that the children are benefiting from being together. It isn't about you being able to get a cheaper nanny that will do your housework on somebody else's dollar. Yes, I understand paying a nanny less is a great benefit for parents but don't shortchange another family, child, and your nanny just so you get a discount.

Actually, I read it as in the OP planning to pay 70% of the salary on account of being a host and enjoying the advantage of light housework.

This is still a recipe for disaster. With such an imbalance, OP will inevitably feel that the nanny is "hers" and there to serve mostly the needs of her family. The other child will just be a discount, along for the ride. Good luck finding your suckers OP.

Why are you being so mean? She's just here looking for answers. If someone hasn't done a share in the past, they wouldn't know how it's done, that's why she's asking.

OP here. Yeah I don't get it either. I obviously haven't done a nanny share before and am not even sure if it is the right fit for me. I just came on the forum to look for answers to enable me to make a decision. There seems to be this knee jerk reaction where people just want to attack. I actually never thought of a nanny share until my sister in law suggested it. I wasn't sure what it was and how it worked. I assumed a nanny share would mean a 50/50 split in everything: 50% in our house 50% in theirs and a 50% split in wages too. I was just wondering if a nanny share would work in our situation where we would be the host family. In fact one of the main reasons our nanny accepted our employment offer and not others is because we are a 5 minutes walk from the metro and numerous buses, so transportation would be very easy for her. Regarding the 70/30 split, I obviously meant that we would pay the 70. But that's just a number I came up with off the top of my head. Regarding the food, no I don't care if someone else's baby eats from our food but I was just wondering how it actually works, you know the nitty gritty details. Another thing I was wondering is if people generally get a double stroller for both babies and another crib. I didn't ask these questions but its something I've been wondering.

As for whether a nanny share is illegal, that's obviously something I would have to explore also. Now reading the regulations, its my understanding that according to 59-18, we would have to abide by all the requirements of a family daycare (except for getting a license) so long as there are less than for children in the share.

[Anonymous]

I really am looking useful information here and would appreciate your thoughts. I am not looking to pick a fight and would rather just have a civil discussion.

[Anonymous]

Nanny shares aren't illegal. The PP is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Yes, in Arlington, 1-4 children in an unlicensed home daycare (share) are legal.

OP, if you are willing to do most of the "heavy lifting" for the share, then I think you could pretty much set it up however you want. By "heavy lifting," I mean that you find the other family, negotiate salary and benefits with the nanny, make your home "share friendly," and agree to be the one to help find another family if the first doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny shares aren't illegal. The PP is wrong.

All you have to do is check your own local family daycare licensing laws. You can easily get their phone numbers on your county website. Do not depend on the above poster, who is obviously not informed about all area counties.

[Anonymous]

Ignoring all of the "nanny shares are illegal" nonsense, because they aren't:

Hosting doesn't have to alternate. This is something that will depend on the other family you find. Yes, it would make sense to split her hourly rate evenly. There are benefits and negatives for each family.

You shouldn't have to babysit for up to an hour waiting for the other family to pick their child up. Unless you have an odd part time schedule or a day that ends quite early? Most shares start and end at generally the same time.

Re: Housework. With two babies so young, housework will be very hard. She can probably do the dishes most days, and maybe do a little laundry. But you'd have to be flexible and understand that some days she won't have time to do the dishes. When you're feeding/diapering/napping two babies, the day goes by in a blur.

Usually, each family is responsible for the food for their child. The exception would be something like a box of cheerios or goldfish both kids eat out of when they're older -- you can take turns buying the new box.

Vacation: 13 days of your choosing isn't a great idea. I understand why you'd want it that way, but you're giving the nanny no wiggle room to try to plan any vacations of her own. What if a family member of hers is getting married out of town? In order to attend the wedding, she would have to take unpaid vacation time? That's a terrible situation. The exception would be if you give her those 7 sick days as personal days that she can take whenever she wants, even if she isn't "sick."

[Anonymous]

Just call up your local family daycare office and they'll tell you if nanny shares are legal in your area.

[Anonymous]

OP, we are in a share that is always at the other family's house. We pay equal amounts, but they provide more of the food (and get light child-related housekeeping during naps) so it balances out.

Agreed that the vacation plan is not going to work. First, split vacation and sick time. Sick time is when the nanny is sick, and thus of her choosing. Vacation can either be all at the nanny's choosing, or split between nanny's choosing and the two families' choosing. Never one family's choosing, though. You should have a plan for where the share will be if you are gone while the other family needs care, though (usually just at the other family's house; for our share it's actually at our nanny's house since that works better for everyone).

Most of the nannyshares I know of have one child sleeping in a Pack n Play, usually provided by that child's family (unless share moves back and forth--then it's usually owned by each family and hosting child sleeps in his/her own crib). We split the cost of our double stroller. Other family bought some items that they wanted extras of anyway, and we provided the rest.

Hours are set to the max of what a family needs. If you are hosting and don't need as many hours as the other family, you'll have to work that out, or look for a family with a better schedule match.

Check your local code to confirm legality, but also note that in many areas, family child care regulations apply only to homes in which the children in care are not related to the owner of the home--so most places, they do not apply to nannyshares *unless* the share is hosted in the home of the nanny, rather than in the home of one of the families. Call to confirm this with your own county, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we are in a share that is always at the other family's house. We pay equal amounts, but they provide more of the food (and get light child-related housekeeping during naps) so it balances out.

Agreed that the vacation plan is not going to work. First, split vacation and sick time. Sick time is when the nanny is sick, and thus of her choosing. Vacation can either be all at the nanny's choosing, or split between nanny's choosing and the two families' choosing. Never one family's choosing, though. You should have a plan for where the share will be if you are gone while the other family needs care, though (usually just at the other family's house; for our share it's actually at our nanny's house since that works better for everyone).

Most of the nannyshares I know of have one child sleeping in a Pack n Play, usually provided by that child's family (unless share moves back and forth--then it's usually owned by each family and hosting child sleeps in his/her own crib). We split the cost of our double stroller. Other family bought some items that they wanted extras of anyway, and we provided the rest.

Hours are set to the max of what a family needs. If you are hosting and don't need as many hours as the other family, you'll have to work that out, or look for a family with a better schedule match.

Check your local code to confirm legality, but also note that in many areas, family child care regulations apply only to homes in which the children in care are not related to the owner of the home--so most places, they do not apply to nannyshares *unless* the share is hosted in the home of the nanny, rather than in the home of one of the families. Call to confirm this with your own county, though.

So how do you explain the fact that only ONE of the share children is related to the homeowner? When you bring the other child who IS NOT related to the homeowner, you're in TROUBLE.