Nanny not totally on board with potty training

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

I am PP who you replied to. And nope I don't just " walk around" without clothes on. Nor do I go near windows where people could see me without clothes on. Mostly because I am not a pedophile but also because I would not do that in my own home. I have learned that fear can't be reasoned with, therefore it never crossed you mind that some employers refuse to allow you to leave a bag at their house (as a previous thread with dozens of dissenting parents has shown).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

I'm a nanny, PP. Believe it or not some nannies believe that the safety of a child (physical, emotional) is paramount and if this mother suspects her nanny is shaming her son for having accidents I believe she SHOULD instal cameras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

I have had my charge spill on me before and had to throw my clothes in the wash. It's going to sound terrible if you describe it the way your are trying to, like there is a bad person watching your child. The truth is the few feet from the bathroom to the washroom was an unavoidable trek that I had the make without pants. As for windows and such, you seem to think like a creep.... Ew, why would you assume that?

I am the PP you are responding to. I am not trying to make it sound like having to change makes you a bad person but the way the PP described it (creepy parents staring at her ass?) does make it sound like something strange. The thing about these arguments is, as a parent, it's all happened to me too - I've been spit up on, pooped on, peed on, covered in my child's dinner, "bathed" while fully dressed, etc. I also live in NW DC where yes, anyone in the street would get an eyeful through the windows if I just peeled off my clothes then and there, so I also know that even when these things happen, I can still get my kid cleaned up and then make it to my bedroom to get myself cleaned up. If I track something on the floor, okay, I can also come back to get that cleaned up. None of that necessitates me walking around without clothes. So why is that an excuse nannies use ALL the time as a reason why cameras should be disclosed? A better solution would be to find a way to not have to walk around your employer's house half dressed ever.... Even if they don't have cameras, what if a parent came home in those few minutes for a surprise visit??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

I am PP who you replied to. And nope I don't just " walk around" without clothes on. Nor do I go near windows where people could see me without clothes on. Mostly because I am not a pedophile but also because I would not do that in my own home. I have learned that fear can't be reasoned with, therefore it never crossed you mind that some employers refuse to allow you to leave a bag at their house (as a previous thread with dozens of dissenting parents has shown).

In the thread you are referring to, the nanny left a basket of personal items all of which fit in a purse without asking in a bathroom where obviously SOMEONE saw them and thought it was strange. And most responders didn't say they would say no - they said it was strange and questioned why those small items couldn't be kept in a purse. Most reasonable parents would not say no if a nanny said, "hey, is there a closet somewhere I can stash a bag with a clean t-shirt and jeans in case your kid pukes all over me or something?" But even if your employers said no, I still don't understand what you do in that situation short of bringing a change with you? Take off your pants and wash them and then put them back on wet? Or walk around with no pants? I guess I am just confused as to why walking around with clothes would ever be the answer? I carry a change of shoes with me every day on my commute on the metro because I don't have anywhere to leave them. Is it a pain? Yes. Is it unfeasible or impossible? Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Did your nanny say why she thinks your son isn't ready to be potty trained yet? It sounds like from her previous job she has potty trained children before at 3.5 he is definitely old enough so I would love to know more about what she thinks. Whether he has a BM in a pull up or in his undies I don't see what the difference is for her unless you are making her wash the undies. If he has a BM accident in his undies I would just ask that she has them up in a bag and leave them for you guys to clean up later. Past that cleaning him up is exactly the same as cleaning him up when he has a BM in a diaper or pull up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

I am PP who you replied to. And nope I don't just " walk around" without clothes on. Nor do I go near windows where people could see me without clothes on. Mostly because I am not a pedophile but also because I would not do that in my own home. I have learned that fear can't be reasoned with, therefore it never crossed you mind that some employers refuse to allow you to leave a bag at their house (as a previous thread with dozens of dissenting parents has shown).

In the thread you are referring to, the nanny left a basket of personal items all of which fit in a purse without asking in a bathroom where obviously SOMEONE saw them and thought it was strange. And most responders didn't say they would say no - they said it was strange and questioned why those small items couldn't be kept in a purse. Most reasonable parents would not say no if a nanny said, "hey, is there a closet somewhere I can stash a bag with a clean t-shirt and jeans in case your kid pukes all over me or something?" But even if your employers said no, I still don't understand what you do in that situation short of bringing a change with you? Take off your pants and wash them and then put them back on wet? Or walk around with no pants? I guess I am just confused as to why walking around with clothes would ever be the answer? I carry a change of shoes with me every day on my commute on the metro because I don't have anywhere to leave them. Is it a pain? Yes. Is it unfeasible or impossible? Of course not.

Parents often have a higher standards for their nanny than for themselves. I don't carry clothes every day and neither do most nannies. I think there is a disconnect between what people feel should happen in an ideal world and what happens in a practical one. I am not disagreeing because hey maybe all children would be better if only there were more extra sets of clothes in the cabinets, who knows. It's just not common. Also, there are so many imperfect parents in the world (forget to pick kids up from school, don't make it to the play, aren't home to do homework, etc.) we all need to be more kind to each other.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and when I'm working with infants, if it is pouring rain (I hate being in damp clothes all day), or during potty training (sometimes accidents are too messy to contain) I do bring a change of clothes every day. Otherwise no, I haven't found a need for it (yes, sometimes I go home with food crusted onto my jeans - so what?). It is not unusual in my circle of nannies - we all have large purses that can accommodate an extra pair of pants and a tshirt. Not a big deal, PP, you should try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

You said its only been since this long weekend that you have been potty training. I don't think that is all that long - not long enough to be concerned he is taking a long time to learn or to assume your nanny is not going to support you. It's a short enough amount of time that you may need to clarify your process and goals or inquire about her perspective. Really, good communication is the first step in any conflict. Some posts have jumped straight to assumptions about shaming and the need for her to be fired. I am not opposed to either but the evidence for them in not in your post. Can you talk to her and update the thread when you have more information?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going through potty training with DC and after a lot of struggle he's finally getting it. He doesn't like being wet so when we went cold turkey with no more diaper he started telling us when he has to go to the bathroom. He does really well with peeing in the bathroom but he has yet to poop. We're working on it but it will take some time (we just started this over the long weekend). Today he pooped in his underwear and the nanny didn't seem pleased. She said we needed to do pull-ups because he isn't ready for underwear but I know that won't work. We tried pull-ups and he didn't do well with them, he doesn't care if the pull-ups get wet so he has no incentive to go in the bathroom. I know we have to keep going with the underwear and working on getting him to poop but I'm curious if anyone has had a problem with the nanny not wanting to do the potty training and if so, how did you get them the best time to potty training is a out side on summer time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said its only been since this long weekend that you have been potty training. I don't think that is all that long - not long enough to be concerned he is taking a long time to learn or to assume your nanny is not going to support you. It's a short enough amount of time that you may need to clarify your process and goals or inquire about her perspective. Really, good communication is the first step in any conflict. Some posts have jumped straight to assumptions about shaming and the need for her to be fired. I am not opposed to either but the evidence for them in not in your post. Can you talk to her and update the thread when you have more information?

OP here. I will update here after I have spoken with her. She's actually off for the next week so I won't have a chance to talk to her until she is back. Just to be clear, it never crossed my mind to consider letting her go for this issue, I am mostly just curious if anyone else has had a nanny who didn't really want to deal with the potty training. I'm sure we are on the right path with DS and I also really understand that it's extremely unpleasant having to deal with his accidents but it IS part of the job of being a nanny. I don't ask her to clean his clothes. I did tell her to just put it in a bag in the laundry room and I'll deal with it when I get home so all she really has to do is clean him off. I work part-time so I spend plenty of time doing it too so it's not as if I'm unfamiliar with how unpleasant it can be. I AM concerned about her reaction towards DS but I will talk to her about how she handles it.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but I just don't get it. She has to clean him up either way, what is the difference between throwing a poopy diaper in a bag vs poopy undies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

I am PP who you replied to. And nope I don't just " walk around" without clothes on. Nor do I go near windows where people could see me without clothes on. Mostly because I am not a pedophile but also because I would not do that in my own home. I have learned that fear can't be reasoned with, therefore it never crossed you mind that some employers refuse to allow you to leave a bag at their house (as a previous thread with dozens of dissenting parents has shown).

How dare you equate walking around without clothes on or changing in front of a child to being a pedophile. Your ignorance and lack of sensitivity are appalling. Shame on you PP.