Would you lie?

[Anonymous]

I would just stay out of it.

They have no right telling you anything personal at all.

Your job is to care for the kids and that is all. Not to involve you in their personal lives.

I would just ignore them or change the subject anytime anything non~child related comes up in a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would ask MB not to disclose anything more to me that she has not told her husband or is willing to tell her husband. Then, if asked, I would tell the husband that I cannot get involved in this discussion.

What a mess!

+1

Your change in answer from "no" to "I'd rather not be involved" tells him what he needs to know, but makes clear that you want no parts of this. Start looking for your next job, unless you want to be like the nanny in the divorce thread. This is about to blow up.

Personally, I would actually try and downplay the fact that your answer is changing, even just hinting at the truth is getting too involved in all of this IMO. I'd probably phrase it like "You know DB, you've asked me that several times and honestly it makes me a bit uncomfortable, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't ask me these kinds of questions in the future". But I do agree that you should start looking for a new job, all of this is just SO unprofessional from both of them.

I understand what you're saying, but I personally feel like DB should know. His wife is an idiot for blabbing, and I think cheaters get away with it for so long because everyone is of the mind your business philosophy. At this point your job is over, OP, and I would have no qualms about subtley hinting at the truth. However I probably would have shut down that line of questioning the very first time he asked.

Regardless of what you personally think, it is in NO way your business to interfere with someone else's marriage. Yes, this particular MB involved her nanny when she disclosed the boyfriend, but that does not give OP the right to insert her personal morals and tell the husband. She needs to maintain professionalism, even if her employers can't.

She made it her business when she told her. And I didn't say to tell him out and out, but refusing to answer, when she has answered no previously, does in fact give him a clue as to what is going on, and I don't think that is a problem. The idea of community is dead today because everyone wants to mind their own business. That's just code for, I only care about myself and mine. I think that attitude is damaging.

Your comment is a bit extreme, but actually my advice to OP would change if she was not their employee. If she were just a friend of this couple, my advice would be to tell the wife that she does not approve of her actions, and that if she doesn't tell her husband herself, OP will. However, since she is an employee I feel it's important not to muddle the business with the personal, and that would be my advice if OP had this situation in any sort of work environment, not just nannying.

[Anonymous]

I think that, whether or not it's the nanny's business, she should not be getting involved in her employers' marriage. Period. Tell the MB that it makes you really uncomfortable to hear about this aspect of her personal life because it puts you in an awkward position and you'd prefer for her not to tell you anymore. Tell the DB that it makes you uncomfortable when he asks you these questions and you'd prefer that he not do it anymore. You do not want to be in the middle of this, and your employers are wrong to put you there.