Possible Theft by Babysitter

[Anonymous]

I would go with your gut on this OP. If you truly feel like your stuff simply vanished, then it most likely did.

You can try delicately asking the babysitter about the ring, but please do so as gently and non-accusing as possible. Watch her initial reaction because teen-agers are not really good liars. See how she reacts and go from there.

Maybe you can also speak to her parents and they can help you out by searching her bedroom or letting you know if they have even perhaps seen the ring around the house.

If nothing comes of this, I am truly sorry.
In the future, I highly discourage hiring a teen to watch your son.
Not all teens are immature, but I would personally prefer to hire someone at least in college or older.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I've always had trust issues letting housekeepers into my home after hearing others' horror stories of personal item or identity theft... so I always cleaned my own house despite having little free time to do so. But now, as a single, f/t working parent of a toddler, I need to occasionally hire sitters (and I could really use a housekeeper now).

I thought I found the perfect babysitter for my son... a teenage high school student who is smart, athletic, very personable, etc. and enjoys playing with my son (and he adores her). I hired her as my mother's helper several times a month for 6 months before I let her sit for my son while I was away.

But this weekend I discovered one of my favorite rings missing (the only gemstone I had) as well as a gold chain... I kept both on my dresser for easy access as well as other misc jewelry (because I never seem to find time to organize). The only people with access to my bedroom recently were my son's babysitter, a cousin who babysat once, and an electrician from a reputable company who installed an outlet (but I'm pretty sure I wore the ring since the electrician's visit).

Of course, I mostly blame myself for being so disorganized to be careless and leave stuff out instead of locking it away. And, I'm not going to make any accusations for this reason or the slight chance that the ring may be misplaced. But I do suspect the babysitter due to easy access with me away and because she comes from a low income household where money may be tight.

I mostly VENTING but I am interested in others' suggestions:

Does this sort of thing happen often with babysitters?

Do you carefully hide and/or lock up all valuables at all times with trusted babysitters, nannies and housekeepers?

Do you keep stuff and all paperwork in a locked closet door or file cabinets? I've been meaning to install a lock on my bedroom closet door.

And (stupid question) How do you find someone you really TRUST to watch your kids or even come into your house while you're away?

I am bummed out due to the loss of my ring with monetary and sentimental value but also the loss of my son's playmate babysitter that I will no longer trust out of site in my house unless I find the missing ring. And because it is SO HARD doing EVERYTHING without help (and then not trusting the help you get)!!!!

To answer your question (bolded above)...NO! If it happened OFTEN people wouldn't hire babysitters. You ask the question like you think you're going to get a reply of "yes, my babysitter steals from me at least once per month."

There are three possible thieves (in addition to your child), one being an electrician you've never met, and you jump to the conclusion that it's your babysitter, THE PERSON YOU TRUST WITH YOUR OWN CHILD??

[Anonymous]

When I can't find something, especially my jewelry I assume my toddler grabbed it. Sometimes she did, sometimes it fell, my memory was wrong about where I left it or my cat even grabs stuff. If I had someone coming into my home for a service I could see how my mind could wander and assume it was them. But you just don't know. Maybe it will turn up.

[Anonymous]

I lost earrings all the time,please don't judge you be judge too....

[Anonymous]

We had a St Paddys day party and $20 went missing from our kids bank. His own fAult for showing other kids his bank.( they were getting $$ for our gum ball machine.
We know iT happened during the party because my son counted it the day before. 2 babysitters 5 weeks later $60 is gone. We called the family to Explain our situation. We trusted the boy, but?? The other sitter is my wife's sister.
We will ask her tomorrow. Im going to buy a cheap nanny cam and leave cash in the piggy bank again

[Anonymous]

I would be curious to know more about this electrician who installed the outlet. We had an electrician install an outlet in NW DC this week and discovered jewelry missing.

[Anonymous]

Hire a guy, I promise you a guy sitter won't steal like a female high school sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go with your gut on this OP. If you truly feel like your stuff simply vanished, then it most likely did.

You can try delicately asking the babysitter about the ring, but please do so as gently and non-accusing as possible. Watch her initial reaction because teen-agers are not really good liars. See how she reacts and go from there.

Maybe you can also speak to her parents and they can help you out by searching her bedroom or letting you know if they have even perhaps seen the ring around the house.

If nothing comes of this, I am truly sorry.
In the future, I highly discourage hiring a teen to watch your son.
Not all teens are immature, but I would personally prefer to hire someone at least in college or older.

Good luck.

There is no reason for OP to call this girls parents and have them search her room. She isn't 5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, you can't prove any of them took it. You also cannot be 100% sure you or your toddler didn't misplace it since you can't absolutely remember when you returned it to the place you usually do. Hopefully, it will turn up. Lock up your valuables in the future and consider locking your bedroom door when you leave.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of 4, and I've found it's amazing what and where toddlers are capable of hiding. Especially with something left sitting out on the dresser. Look around the dresser, on the floor, behind the dresser, etc. Look in his toybox, in the toilet, under the bed, in the cabinets. Seriously, crawl around the floor and follow his tracks. Maybe the babysitter just let him play in your room.

If you're feeling bold, maybe call the babysitter and ask, "by the way, did toddler play in my bedroom, near my dresser, because I can't find my necklace and ring." Her reaction may give you a clue.

Stealing does happen, but mostly me and my friends have found it was misplaced, or kids took it/hid it/flushed it.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you are all hounding a victim. I have had numerous thefts from babysitters and cleaners. Petty theft- knives, pizza cutters, cash. Its temptation unfortunately. I don't know if they are poor or rich but different ones are stealing from me and they all come from a vetted agency. It is happening all the time. I really sympathise with you and do not understand why this forum became a platform for hounding victims of theft and accusing them of being forgetful or accusing their children.

[Anonymous]

When moving, I "lost" a pearl and dianond necklace and earrings and looked everywhere for them. A friend's teen age daughters were helping me unpack but it never occurred to me to call them thieves. A few months later, I filed an insurance claim, received check but before depositing, I was looking for something else in an unpacked box of "miscellaneous" and found necklace and earrings. I returned check. My point is that most of us, or DH or child(ten) misplace items. Unless you can prove she stole your items, don't accuse.

[Anonymous]

1. This thread is 4 years old.

2. Toddlers move things, then don't remember they moved them, let alone where they are now. Any nanny and most parents/sitters can tell a parent this!