Nanny car accident - should we help pay fines?

[Anonymous]

No OP you should not pay for her fines or lawyers! She is working as nanny and she should have a record of bad driving after her history! You also should not let her drive. It doesn't matter that she isn't used to driving on highways. This is part of driving and she should be more aware, more cautious and drive more slowly if she is only familiar with driving around a few streets in Mayberry.

[Anonymous]

Help your nanny to find and pay for an attorney to represent her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer. Since she was driving your car, it will be your insurance rather than hers which is primary if the pedestrian makes any personal injury claim. You need to be aware that your car insurance may go up as well as hers.

And as a PP said, since the nanny was acting on your behalf at the time of the accident, you and your husband are personally liable for any injuries which are not covered by auto insurance.

You need to report this to your auto insurer now. Theoretically, if you fail to do so and get sued in 2 years, they could disclaim coverage.

Exactly right. You insurance company is going to want to have her on the policy as a named driver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe tell her you'll pay HALF the fines ONLY if she takes a defensive driving course (at her own expense).

People learn from their mistakes best when they're forced to pay for them. This needs to hurt her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Hi - I'm the OP.

First, I want to thank everyone for their advice and suggestions, they were super helpful.

We have helped the nanny with the lawyer arrangements, but we have not helped pay the lawyer's fees at this point. The fines have not come due as there is a court date at which they will be finalised. We will probably help to pay the fines. I think her parents are also helping with some of these costs.

We also found a good driving school and helped to pay for a lesson to become more familiar with driving in our area. (I think it might have ended up costing more than I expected. I had originally given her what I thought was enough to cover the entire amount, but the lesson was longer than I was expecting so probably cost more - but she hasn't said anything.)

We followed up promptly with our insurance company and all of that now seems to be well in hand. Unfortunately our insurance has increased substantially and it will be many years before we can get it down again. Also they will not cover her to drive our car.

Prior to this accident, the nanny had also scraped the side of our car and we covered the full expense of the repair - $600.

So now, since she cannot drive our car, she is occasionally taking the kids in her car. The other day, she parked somewhere and couldn't figure out what the parking rules were for that spot, & the ticket machine would not take her money. As she and my daughter were only popping into a store briefly, she thought it would be ok. But it was rush hour, and there is no parking in that location at that time (hence the machine would not take her money). There was a sign up on a post right beside where she parked (my daughter pointed out the spot a couple of days later) that said no parking at that time. So they come out of the store and there is a tow truck about to take her car away. She was able to pay the tow fee and have it released.

*My question is - should we pay the tow fee?* She was on an errand to buy something my daughter needed, so she was acting as our employee at the time and wouldn't have otherwise been there. We are inclined to reimburse her but then say we will pay her a set amount for mileage but she has to take responsibility for any further tickets etc. Up until now we have just been filling up her tank every once in a while, which for the limited amount her car is used on the job is an incredibly good deal for her, but not something we have formally agreed upon (the original plan had been for her to drive our car!).

Needless to say, I am incredibly annoyed that she has been so irresponsible and continues to have driving/car-related issues. To complicate matters, I have now realised that she used the petty cash to pay most of the tow fee, without telling us.

Obviously I am going to talk to her about all of this, resolve the current situation and come to an agreement about the future. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to handle the petty cash issue. I also need to go through our contract as she is not doing some of the tasks that are outlined in it. The kids love her and this is mainly a before and after school / dinner time job so it is hard to find someone who is willing to do it. She is a college student who lives in with us, a really sweet girl, and in so many ways this is a great arrangement. While I am getting frustrated about how things have been going recently, I suspect that apart from trying to resolve some of the issues I should be less of a perfectionist about things like some of the 'light housekeeping' that is not being done (wiping table after a meal, for example).

I would welcome any further opinions or advice from the folks on this forum!

[Anonymous]

I think you need to sit down with her and go over everything. I think you should pay the tow fee this time but tell her that from now on she needs to be much more careful and her driving and needs to pay attention to where she parks. I would also go over the housekeeping issues and remind her it is in her contract to do those things. Wiping down the table after the children eat should go without saying. As far as the petty cash goes, I'd tell her that you planned to pay the tow fee this time anyway but that she needs to ask you before you spends that much from the petty cash at one time.

To be totally honest though, I'd have serious doubts about this nanny's judgement given all the issues you have had. Who can't figure out how to read a sign for a parking spot and if the machine doesn't take the money why on earth would you still park there? I know you think she is sweet but she is taking care of your children and I'd have some major concerns about that.

[Anonymous]

She may have used petty cash to pay the tow fee because she didn't have the money so she couldn't use her credit card/debit card. Or because she didn't have any cash but had the petty cash money in her purse. (I don't carry cash most of the time).

BUT this is serious. I know she was doing an errand for work, to pick something up your daughter needed, but when I'm doing an errand for myself/my child I still read the parking signs. She should have driven around and around until she found legal parking, just like all of us do! Or gone back another day at another time when it's easier to park near the store, or whatever.

By paying for her she isn't learning her lesson, so I am not sure you are helping her. And it certainly isn't making her stop making mistakes re: driving, parking, etc al! I would be as frustrated as you are, that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would fire her. She has shown terrible judgment, which, so far has not resulted in your children being injured, but might in the future. There are great nannies out there who can take great care of your children and are responsible drivers. A nanny is supposed to make your life easier. Instead, this nanny is costing you extra money and time based on her poor judgment.

[Anonymous]

I have now had three college-aged/student household employees (two nannies and a "household assistant"). This is par for the course, I think. They are still children in a lot of ways, and since she's living with you, she thinks of you as more like her parents than the kind of employers whe'll have after college.

The issues that I see with the college nanny are related to the fact that they've never really run a household, so money is very "fungible" to them; things just ... get paid for, by them maybe, or by their parents, or, apparently, by you (or the college loan office, but you get my drift). $600 is $200 is $50 is $800 ... there's always another chance, there will be more money later, and nothing is personally at stake for them besides being a little embarrassed (she's not going to starve, get kicked out of school, or be on the street).

You can try talking to her about being a responsible adult, but I suspect these kinds of things are going to keep coming up. I am sure that she is completely surprised every time something goes wrong, and genuinely forgets about tasks she's supposed to do. She's just not a mature, responsible adult. She's a college kid who will be careful with your kids and do the basics she needs to do for her job. The stakes just aren't there to make her "get" how important this other stuff is to you.

The driving situation might be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't trust her anymore, and if she doesn't pay for the tickets she gets (and she will get more), shes going to lose her license anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi - I'm the OP.

First, I want to thank everyone for their advice and suggestions, they were super helpful.

We have helped the nanny with the lawyer arrangements, but we have not helped pay the lawyer's fees at this point. The fines have not come due as there is a court date at which they will be finalised. We will probably help to pay the fines. I think her parents are also helping with some of these costs.

We also found a good driving school and helped to pay for a lesson to become more familiar with driving in our area. (I think it might have ended up costing more than I expected. I had originally given her what I thought was enough to cover the entire amount, but the lesson was longer than I was expecting so probably cost more - but she hasn't said anything.)

We followed up promptly with our insurance company and all of that now seems to be well in hand. Unfortunately our insurance has increased substantially and it will be many years before we can get it down again. Also they will not cover her to drive our car.

Prior to this accident, the nanny had also scraped the side of our car and we covered the full expense of the repair - $600.

So now, since she cannot drive our car, she is occasionally taking the kids in her car. The other day, she parked somewhere and couldn't figure out what the parking rules were for that spot, & the ticket machine would not take her money. As she and my daughter were only popping into a store briefly, she thought it would be ok. But it was rush hour, and there is no parking in that location at that time (hence the machine would not take her money). There was a sign up on a post right beside where she parked (my daughter pointed out the spot a couple of days later) that said no parking at that time. So they come out of the store and there is a tow truck about to take her car away. She was able to pay the tow fee and have it released.

*My question is - should we pay the tow fee?* She was on an errand to buy something my daughter needed, so she was acting as our employee at the time and wouldn't have otherwise been there. We are inclined to reimburse her but then say we will pay her a set amount for mileage but she has to take responsibility for any further tickets etc. Up until now we have just been filling up her tank every once in a while, which for the limited amount her car is used on the job is an incredibly good deal for her, but not something we have formally agreed upon (the original plan had been for her to drive our car!).

Needless to say, I am incredibly annoyed that she has been so irresponsible and continues to have driving/car-related issues. To complicate matters, I have now realised that she used the petty cash to pay most of the tow fee, without telling us.

Obviously I am going to talk to her about all of this, resolve the current situation and come to an agreement about the future. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to handle the petty cash issue. I also need to go through our contract as she is not doing some of the tasks that are outlined in it. The kids love her and this is mainly a before and after school / dinner time job so it is hard to find someone who is willing to do it. She is a college student who lives in with us, a really sweet girl, and in so many ways this is a great arrangement. While I am getting frustrated about how things have been going recently, I suspect that apart from trying to resolve some of the issues I should be less of a perfectionist about things like some of the 'light housekeeping' that is not being done (wiping table after a meal, for example).

I would welcome any further opinions or advice from the folks on this forum!

No, do not pay the fee. She chose to park somewhere she should not have. If you keep paying for her mistakes, she will not learn responsibility. Deduct the fee from her next paycheck. I agree with the other posters who say it is time to fire her. She is not responsible and she is going to continue to cost you money and give you plenty of drama.

[Anonymous]

Definitely don't pay the fee. She was irresponsible and parked illegally.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all for your input. I did mention that we would consider helping to pay the fine but made clear that going forward we would not be able to pay any traffic tickets and would just pay for mileage and parking. She refused to let us pay, which I think was the right thing to do as we have been more than fair and helpful about these issues.

I also gave her an updated contract with some checklists for things that were part of the original contract but were not spelled out in detail, and I mentioned two things specifically that would be particularly helpful. That aspect of things has improved over the last few days.

As I mentioned before, this is a good arrangement for us and for her, and it is difficult to find someone who is willing to do the sorts of hours that we require. Moreover, she is very good at managing our quite high spirited children, and they love her. I don't want to have a revolving door of caregivers, my kids really need consistency and security. My DH and I have agreed to stick with her but be prepared to consider a change at a natural breaking point, e.g. the beginning of the next school year, if we have further issues.

[Anonymous]

Seems reasonable, and you and DH should come up with a calming mantra to use the next time something accidental and expensive happens!