You can't have it both ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 8:45 (the long winded one) and I want to be clear that I'm not taking a stand either way. I personally think there are a lot of differences between any industry. So I think we should all be careful about thinking that some other career path has it so good. Anyone that says that office jobs as a rule get health insurance, schedule flexibility, hour long lunch breaks, and that their bosses always follow the laws and their job descriptions is just flat wrong - that's all I was saying. Grass is always greener, I suppose.

I think that is exactly OP and PPs points. Its very hard to compare the two, so the "well at my job blah blah blah" argument doesn't hold water. It isn't the same. There are things that nannies do that you could never do in an office job (yoga pants, or pj pants to work?) and there are things that are expected in an office job that simply do not translate. Busting your hump stepping outside your job duties is not going to get a nanny much if anything at all, so parents should let go of that idea and appreciate your nanny doing the job she agreed to do. Doing your job, and just your job doesn't make her a bad nanny. Expecting you to abide by her hours, does not make her inflexible, and you should be GRATEFUL when she agrees to stay late or come early (because you asked, not just showed up late) not butt hurt when she says no.

I was responding directly to the PP that I quoted who said "sometimes its okay for MBs to get home late whenever they please, and if we say something, "they're paying for flexibility." Etc. Etc. It bugs me when people talk in generalizations like this. As I said, IT IS NOT OK for an MB to get home late whenever they please. If your MB thinks it IS ok, then you need to find yourself a new job. So you can sit on here and complain about how MBs expect you to act like professionals but then don't reciprocate - if that's what you're experiencing in every single job, then maybe you're not going to be a good fit for nannying or maybe you're just having awful luck. Because it's not the way it works in my world and it should not be. I agree with you that basics like timeliness and general adherence to the contract should be non-negotiables on both sides.

Now all that said, I will say that if I compared the following two nannies, guess which one I would pay more, offer more flexibility, recommend to all my friends, and basically fall all over myself to keep?

Nanny A - Is on time every day, takes the kids to preschool and picks them up on time, does exactly the activities I ask her to do in the afternoons, takes the kids to the playground by the house if every day if I haven't told her what else to do, picks up the kids toys, spends the time while the kids are in preschool on her iPhone because she's done all the duties I ask of her.

Nanny B - Is on time every day, takes the kids to preschool and picks them up on time, does the activities I ask her to do in the afternoons, picks up the kids toys, asks me if there's anything else she can do since she is finding she has an extra two hours of free time every day while the kids are in school, takes the initiative to occasionally organize the playroom and plan crafts and or outings to museums or something for the next day, starts to throw in the kids' laundry when she has free time, once a month or so surprises me with dinner made by her and the kids in time for when I arrive home, notices I have "milk" written on the grocery list and texts me to see if she can pick some up, etc.


If you're not going to be a nanny B, that's fine - you're still doing the job you're paid for. And I completely agree that MBs shouldn't expect nannies to suddenly turn into housekeepers if that's not in the agreement. I'm not saying that. But I still think that, just like in any job, the person that goes a little further will eventually get rewarded, even if it's just in internally knowing you did a great job and presenting yourself well for the next one when you leave the person that's not appreciating you.

[Anonymous]

In DC, many nannies get paid a lot for a job that requires very little formal education. My nanny, for example, is making $22/hour for a full-time nanny share--that's more than most teachers earn with college and Master's degrees. Nannies are paid this much BECAUSE they are able to work reliably around MB's (and DB's) schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In DC, many nannies get paid a lot for a job that requires very little formal education. My nanny, for example, is making $22/hour for a full-time nanny share--that's more than most teachers earn with college and Master's degrees. Nannies are paid this much BECAUSE they are able to work reliably around MB's (and DB's) schedule.

Maybe that's why YOU pay YOUR nanny that much, and if you're clear in expectations then there is nothing wrong with that. I have a Masters and I negotiate higher rates because of my education and experience. I have a family and my own business as well and my employers would be sorely disappointed if they began treating me like their time was more valuable than my own. We have a schedule and I expect them to abide by it. I do not view allowing persistent tardiness at the end of the door constitutes flexibility, rather an inability to stick up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In DC, many nannies get paid a lot for a job that requires very little formal education. My nanny, for example, is making $22/hour for a full-time nanny share--that's more than most teachers earn with college and Master's degrees. Nannies are paid this much BECAUSE they are able to work reliably around MB's (and DB's) schedule.

I'm the long-winded poster and I don't agree with this. If you have a nanny and you need flexibility in your schedule, discuss that with your nanny and come up with an appropriate rate that works for both sides. Especially in an industry where there is no "normal" and no known market compensation package and common understanding of duties, you must be explicitly clear with what you are offering and what you expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from benefits and legal protection, office jobs and nanny jobs are vastly difference in that there is little to no room for advancement. When you are going above and beyond at the office, it is likely (as two posters inadvertently pointed out) for a promotion or an appointment to a desired or high-profile assignment. Going above and beyond for nannies yields few of these perks, and aside from yearly raises (which most office workers receive as well) there is no advancement. Yes, the duties of the job change over time but the position does not. It is not as if I can add a title to my resume just because I have been with a family for four years. All of this boils down to the fact that there is little incentive for nannies to provide the flexibility many adults provide in their work environments because, aside from extra money (not even all of the time) there is no reward.

+1 I'm willing to do my job and do it well, with the occasional "just to help out" extra stuff, but lets be real. There is no promotion coming my way, I'm lucky to get a $1/hour extra next year, and when I leave your job I will probably take a pay cut because my new boss won't start me where you left off. The reasons PPs listed for going above and beyond and offering flexibility just do not translate to the nanny world. You *may* get a holiday bonus, you *may* get a raise, but that's it and really depend on the financial situation of your boss, their generosity and appreciation, and whether or not they are aware enough to think past their own noses. Every boss I've had has literally raved about me as a reference. I've never gotten a bonus, my bosses can never "afford" a raise, and are too self involved to think of me when it comes to bonuses or gifts. Over the years I've come to accept this treatment, and I've stopped trying to be supernanny just to get diddly squat in the end.

Exactly. You can't compare an office job with being a nanny. An office job can be long term, have promotions and benefits. Very few nanny jobs will last more then five years, very few have benefits and there are no promotions. Office jobs are not in personal homes; Nannies are unique in that you are really up close and personal with your job and you know intimate details about your employers. You are more at the whim of your boss as a nanny. They can fire you for anything you do. There is no comparison.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so we've decided that there are many differences between office jobs and nanny jobs. OP's final point was "I should be able to get some flexibility with my time too and not have to revolve my whole world around MBs schedule."

OP, what does this mean to you? There are certain jobs that out of necessity have to be time-based rather than productivity-based and really can't have a lot of flexibility. What does "flexibility with my time" look like to you in the context of a nanny job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear so many MB's here and other places always saying crap like nannies need to treat this like a real job and will have the same expectations of one. My thought is yes, we need to show up on time, be reliable, and somewhat flexible. However, when it suits their needs, it seems some MBs no longer want to treat it like real job on their end. By this, I mean they can discriminate for anything (included the nanny getting pregnant and firing her for it). We constantly hear how nannies are not protected with the same laws that corporate employees are. So why should I treat it like they treat their job if they can do whatever the hell they want and not be legally liable for certain actions they take? I should be able to get some flexibility with my time too and not have to revolve my whole world around MBs schedule.

An office job working for a small company has the same problems. It's not about being professional- it's about not working for employers who are forced to offer more benefits (either through regulation or market forces.)

[Anonymous]

The pregnancy thing keeps coming up, and it's a tough one. All of us MBs have been pregnant, and we know what it may mean in terms of time off for appointments, illness, potential for complications, etc.. I increased my nanny's hours when I was pregnant because I couldn't keep up with my toddlers at the park safely.

I wouldn't fire my nanny just because she was pregnant, but I don't know how I would handle it either. Pregnancy is long; this isn't a week in front of the tv because you're still recovering from the flu.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't know what the legal requirements are for how you have to treat a pregnant nanny as an employer. I know the rules are different even for smaller companies (fewer than 50 people) than for larger. Can anyone enlighten us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pregnancy thing keeps coming up, and it's a tough one. All of us MBs have been pregnant, and we know what it may mean in terms of time off for appointments, illness, potential for complications, etc.. I increased my nanny's hours when I was pregnant because I couldn't keep up with my toddlers at the park safely.

I wouldn't fire my nanny just because she was pregnant, but I don't know how I would handle it either. Pregnancy is long; this isn't a week in front of the tv because you're still recovering from the flu.

You're right it is tough, and I think most of us understand that. I do feel that there is something very cold hearted about firing the woman who cares for your babies because she is having one of her own. Many MBs on here say they'll work with their pregnant nanny, but I've never seen it play out in reality. Nannies I know have been fired immediately or as quickly as they could be replaced. I've also been asked in interviews whether I was pregnant or intend to become pregnant, and the question really rubs me the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pregnancy thing keeps coming up, and it's a tough one. All of us MBs have been pregnant, and we know what it may mean in terms of time off for appointments, illness, potential for complications, etc.. I increased my nanny's hours when I was pregnant because I couldn't keep up with my toddlers at the park safely.

I wouldn't fire my nanny just because she was pregnant, but I don't know how I would handle it either. Pregnancy is long; this isn't a week in front of the tv because you're still recovering from the flu.

You're right it is tough, and I think most of us understand that. I do feel that there is something very cold hearted about firing the woman who cares for your babies because she is having one of her own. Many MBs on here say they'll work with their pregnant nanny, but I've never seen it play out in reality. Nannies I know have been fired immediately or as quickly as they could be replaced. I've also been asked in interviews whether I was pregnant or intend to become pregnant, and the question really rubs me the wrong way.

I have never experienced having a nanny get pregnant, but how would you propose a good employer would handle a nanny getting pregnant and taking maternity leave and then keeping her on after the leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pregnancy thing keeps coming up, and it's a tough one. All of us MBs have been pregnant, and we know what it may mean in terms of time off for appointments, illness, potential for complications, etc.. I increased my nanny's hours when I was pregnant because I couldn't keep up with my toddlers at the park safely.

I wouldn't fire my nanny just because she was pregnant, but I don't know how I would handle it either. Pregnancy is long; this isn't a week in front of the tv because you're still recovering from the flu.

You're right it is tough, and I think most of us understand that. I do feel that there is something very cold hearted about firing the woman who cares for your babies because she is having one of her own. Many MBs on here say they'll work with their pregnant nanny, but I've never seen it play out in reality. Nannies I know have been fired immediately or as quickly as they could be replaced. I've also been asked in interviews whether I was pregnant or intend to become pregnant, and the question really rubs me the wrong way.

I have never experienced having a nanny get pregnant, but how would you propose a good employer would handle a nanny getting pregnant and taking maternity leave and then keeping her on after the leave?

I think a nanny should come to her employers with a well thought out plan and would hope that employers would be open to it. My husband and I are in this boat right now, and I intend to come to my bosses with a plan that will ease their concerns (how I will handle appointments, feeling miserable, potential bed rest, length of maternity leave, and a plan for my child afterward). I will also begin preparing to find a train a backup nanny for my appointments and bad days, as well as my maternity leave by writing up the kids schedules, getting things organized, drafting a search ad, etc. My bosses are aware this is coming, so I'm not worried about them jumping to replace me, but I have seen this play out with friends and its really sad. They start the conversation, and their bosses are so worried about themselves they aren't even really listening and nanny never gets to explain and implement her plan. Boom. She's now unemployed and pregnant, with little chance of finding a new job.

[Anonymous]

This is another nonsense thread started by yet another disgruntled nanny who would love to stir up trouble where there is none.

If you don't like the terms of your particular situation, then leave. In fact, leave the profession if you don't like it.

Nannying is an easy job that pays very well.

[Anonymous]

No nanny I know of, gets paid enough to be on-call 24/7. When the agreement is work until 6:30, that's what it means. If you have an emergency, you call me up and ask if I can cancel my evening plans, or not.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you need to find some brand new families to work for.