nanny for sahm

[Anonymous]

Since the baby is only two weeks, it seems like this will change as the baby grows a bit older, as she heals from childbirth and the baby can go longer between nursing sessions, and the toddler gets more used to the new sibling. If the job is otherwise good and you want something more long term, you need to give it a few more weeks and concentrate on forming relationships with the kids while MB is present so that they are ready to go with you when she needs to hand one off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since the baby is only two weeks, it seems like this will change as the baby grows a bit older, as she heals from childbirth and the baby can go longer between nursing sessions, and the toddler gets more used to the new sibling. If the job is otherwise good and you want something more long term, you need to give it a few more weeks and concentrate on forming relationships with the kids while MB is present so that they are ready to go with you when she needs to hand one off.

Just saw you've been there for three months. I will add, the addition of a new sibling is pretty traumatic for the older kid, especially toddlers, and right now he probably needs to know that his mom is still his mom, which is why he's being clingy and she's not discouraging it. It may be that in a few weeks when she and the baby are ready, she'll start handing the baby off to you and taking the toddler places one on one or vice versa (and the toddler might be easier once she's out of the house). She just had a baby and is probably nursing round the clock. Not sure what more you can expect right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do puzzles and games with the toddler in the same room as the mom.

Have you asked her if there's anything else you can do?
And really, of course she isn't going anywhere! She just had a baby two weeks ago. She's still healing.

I don't know what you're asking for, OP.

I'm asking what other nannies in this situation do.

This child won't have anything to do with me when his mom is home. Obviously he wants to
play with mom not me.

I ask her if there are things in particular that she wants me to do, but those things don't take long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since the baby is only two weeks, it seems like this will change as the baby grows a bit older, as she heals from childbirth and the baby can go longer between nursing sessions, and the toddler gets more used to the new sibling. If the job is otherwise good and you want something more long term, you need to give it a few more weeks and concentrate on forming relationships with the kids while MB is present so that they are ready to go with you when she needs to hand one off.

Just saw you've been there for three months. I will add, the addition of a new sibling is pretty traumatic for the older kid, especially toddlers, and right now he probably needs to know that his mom is still his mom, which is why he's being clingy and she's not discouraging it. It may be that in a few weeks when she and the baby are ready, she'll start handing the baby off to you and taking the toddler places one on one or vice versa (and the toddler might be easier once she's out of the house). She just had a baby and is probably nursing round the clock. Not sure what more you can expect right now.

You are probably right when you say that the toddler is even more clingy than usual because of the new baby.
He is indeed easier when his mom is not present, but I can only be out with the toddler in the morning before lunch.
We have already talked about the baby; the mom breastfeeds and does not intend to pump or use formula until at least 8-9 months
So I doubt she'll be handing me the baby any time soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

It doesn't seem lie the mb is at all interested in teamwork here. If she is taking off off a yer, what exactly was OP hired for? OP I am usually loathed to suggest this, but I really would move on. The situation is just going to become more awkward and you will end up pretty miserable and resentful of your wasted time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

It doesn't seem lie the mb is at all interested in teamwork here. If she is taking off off a yer, what exactly was OP hired for? OP I am usually loathed to suggest this, but I really would move on. The situation is just going to become more awkward and you will end up pretty miserable and resentful of your wasted time.

*off for a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

Does one healthy normal child really need a "team" of two adults at the same time? Talk about causing harm...
If you were a nanny, you'd know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

Does one healthy normal child really need a "team" of two adults at the same time? Talk about causing harm...
If you were a nanny, you'd know better.

So it harmful for one healthy normal child to ever have both parents around at the same time ever? Or are two parents not a "team of adults?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

Does one healthy normal child really need a "team" of two adults at the same time? Talk about causing harm...
If you were a nanny, you'd know better.

So it harmful for one healthy normal child to ever have both parents around at the same time ever? Or are two parents not a "team of adults?"

This thread isn't about having two parents, obviously. Are you being silly on purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

Does one healthy normal child really need a "team" of two adults at the same time? Talk about causing harm...
If you were a nanny, you'd know better.

So it harmful for one healthy normal child to ever have both parents around at the same time ever? Or are two parents not a "team of adults?"

This thread isn't about having two parents, obviously. Are you being silly on purpose?

You sound like an idiot (I'm not the pp). If mom wants to stay home, it's her right.

[Anonymous]

No one said she can't you anything she wants. You need to learn to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one said she can't you anything she wants. You need to learn to read.

*do anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a real problem, OP. If only they knew the trouble they were creating. Healthy boundaries seem to be a tough thing here.

Oh yes, team work is completely unacceptable! How dare these parents dare show their faces, let alone co-caregive!

-Career Nanny

Does one healthy normal child really need a "team" of two adults at the same time? Talk about causing harm...
If you were a nanny, you'd know better.

So it harmful for one healthy normal child to ever have both parents around at the same time ever? Or are two parents not a "team of adults?"

This thread isn't about having two parents, obviously. Are you being silly on purpose?

No - I am responding to what you said. You asked whether one healthy normal child need a team of two adults at the same time. The answer to that is yes. Healthy normal children benefit from having multiple loving caregivers. It takes a village regardless of whether that village is made up of parents, nannies, extended family, whatever. Children very much benefit from it. It is crazy to suggest having a nanny and a parent there at the same time (or any other combination of two adults) causes harm to a child unless those adults are abusing the child or otherwise actually harming the child - not the case here. Are you being obtuse on purpose?

[Anonymous]

22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.