Warning signs?

[Anonymous]

the family I work for is very easy going but the Mom is all business about somethings. It is just what she does. Honestly I don't like meeting people in public places because they always pick coffee shops and I hate them. So I never feel comfortable.

All my best jobs were done in a home. I also think some coffee shop interviewers are people who don't plan to offer to pay well so they don't want you in their home until they make it known how little they want to pay you. That is my experience.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I'm laid back about some things (cursing) but uptight about others (food). When my baby was 6 weeks old I did ask prospective nannies to answer about half a dozen or 10 questions by email ahead of time. I didn't want to waste anyone's time if we didn't mesh on fundamental issues. And sometimes it was easier for me to go over the answers at 2 or 4 am rather than at 7pm when it might be convenient for a nanny with a fulltime job.

Lastly, I definitely wasn't letting strangers into my home without first meeting them at a public place.

[Anonymous]

I think this woman is very smart and knows her stuff. What exactly were the questions she asked you? It is hard to determine if they were inappropriate unless I know exactly what she asked of you.

Regarding the trial days, it makes NO sense to hire a nanny for sure unless one goes through a few trial days, trust me. As a nanny, these are necessary for both sides to ensure a good fit. Nothing is worse than finding out later on that the job is a bad match and things not only end badly, but a poor child suffers the most. On your end, I wouldn't give notice to my current job until you are hired for a new one.

Regarding meeting at a coffee shop, I think she is doing this to be safe. It also protects you as well OP so do not be offended. There are many crazy stories out there and people cannot be too careful anymore.

So no..I see no red flags here.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd that you didn't talk to the mom. She may have been listening in, but you would think the conversation would be done as a 3-way conference or directly with mom. The rest of it seems fine. The trial, even meeting on neutral ground at first are just safety precautions.

[Anonymous]

The mom might have some OCD issues. I'd watch her very carefully as she interacts with her baby. If anything seems a bit off, run. If you do any trial days, make sure you get paid in full each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is very smart and knows her stuff. What exactly were the questions she asked you? It is hard to determine if they were inappropriate unless I know exactly what she asked of you.

Regarding the trial days, it makes NO sense to hire a nanny for sure unless one goes through a few trial days, trust me. As a nanny, these are necessary for both sides to ensure a good fit. Nothing is worse than finding out later on that the job is a bad match and things not only end badly, but a poor child suffers the most. On your end, I wouldn't give notice to my current job until you are hired for a new one.

Regarding meeting at a coffee shop, I think she is doing this to be safe. It also protects you as well OP so do not be offended. There are many crazy stories out there and people cannot be too careful anymore.

So no..I see no red flags here.

I agree with this. I'm an MB. If I had a six-week-old, I would be doing as much upfront screening as possible. That would include having my husband help and give me opinions, asking questions to make sure we were a good match up front so I didn't waste time meeting people that I know weren't going to work, and doing a trial period. And I would advise anyone meeting anyone from the internet for the first time to meet at a public place. A second in-home visit can be done later.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB. I would say that you may be dealing w/ a mom who is nervous about hiring a nanny for the first time and all that entails (business wise but also emotionally) but also who seems to be approaching this with real thought, and care. She sounds like she's being thorough and organized, and fairly professional.

While that may be more business like than you're comfortable with initially, it also seems possible that a parent who is a good business person could be a great boss. It's possible that if she's this organized and clear about the hiring process that she's going to be equally organized and clear about contracts, benefits, compensation, reviews, timeliness, fairness, and treating you like a professional.

I think you're judging her pretty harshly. If you want to be considered as a professional nanny and treated accordingly then you should extend the same consideration to a parent who approaches the relationship professionally.

As for a couple of the other things, when I was hiring I didn't have anyone in my house until after the first round. And there was one candidate who made me very glad that was my practice - she made me uneasy and I was glad she didn't know where we lived.

I also had a bit of trial period/overlap and worked that fully around the nanny's availability.

I think it may be very likely this won't be a good fit for you but that will be because you want a less professional relationship that (perhaps) this mother will establish. But again, that's preference - not right or wrong - and I think you're leaping to A LOT of major conclusions here without having even met the woman.