Nanny asking for loans...
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Anonymous
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I think you have been lovely to her, and certainly have gone beyond the call of duty. I say cheers to you -- especially since she has a lot of responsibilities and some bad luck (with the lawyer, etc).
I think the takeaway message is that you are going to have to set limits, since the requests are escalating. Her needs are probably real, but you are not a bank and you really don't want to be in a situation where you are advancing her large amounts of money against her paychecks. Is she familiar with the U.S. banking system? Since she can demonstrate 3 years of continuous employment, she ought to be able to qualify for a personal loan. |
Anonymous
| This has to be a troll post. |
Anonymous
| OP - stop now. We ended up in a terrible loop with loans to our nanny and I hate it. We have a pretty good relationship but 99% of the friction in it issue to these loans. It is very very hard to say no when you know they have no other options but it will never get better. |
Anonymous
| She is taking advantage of you. I would not loan her the money. Yes, it sucks that she has family issues, but it isn't your responsibility to bail her out. She has found a cash cow and until you put your foot down, she will continue to come to you for things that are not ok in an employer/employee relationship. |
Anonymous
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I am a nanny and would NEVER in a million yrs think of asking my employers for any type of loan. Your nanny sounds like a greedy and selfish person and the more she gets, the more she feels she is entitled to.
You need to put the brakes on this behavior right now. I would tell her that while you love and value her as your nanny, you simply cannot loan her any more money. If she is a decent person and grateful person, she will be thankful for all that you and your husband have already done for her and find another way to get the money she needs. |
Anonymous
| Does your nanny's name start with the letter "B"? Sounds like my old nanny. She always had a charming story that required us buying something for her or lending her money... |
Anonymous
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Over the course of 3 years, I loaned our old nanny $4500. Took the repayment out of her check - sometimes it ended up being her whole check, we knew when DC would go to school & when it had to be paid back by.
I didn't mind loaning her money (same story, family abroad, legal, medical issues), as long as I was in control of getting it back. Then a month after she stopped working for us, she had another emergency and I loaned her $1500. I don't see her daily anymore, and have gotten only $300 of that back in the last year. I'm considering it a final bonus and don't really expect it back - and just hope she doesn't come calling again |
Anonymous
| OP, we also loaned our nanny several thousand dollars over the course of her time with us. We only took a small fraction of her $1000 weekly wages off as repayments -$50-$100. We ended up finding out that she was a consummate liar. She also had several sick relatives and we felt sorry for her and wanted to help her. I believe that when she realized how easy it was to get loans from us on such easy terms she became greedy and started finding reasons to ask for more hefty loans. For instance, she asked us for $6000 to buy a car. We said yes but my husband offered to take a look at the car to make sure it was in good nick before she bought it. All of a sudden, she no longer wanted the car. We eventually caught her in a huge lie which was basically the death knell in our relationship. |
Anonymous
| OP, I am a live-in who is very close to my employers of almost 4 years. We are like family. They have lent me money exactly twice. The first time was when my cell phone died. They let me money to replace it because otherwise I would not have been able to get a smart phone and they want me to be able to text them photos of the children during the day. The second time was when I was in a car accident. They helped me pay for a rental while my car was in the shop so that I would continue to be able to transport their children. Both times the expense was related to the care of their children. |
Anonymous
| Thank you for posting, 9:01. |
Anonymous
| Our nanny of 7 years has never once asked for a loan. Honestly, if she did, I think I'd feel taken advantage of. Could you imagine asking your boss for a loan? It's unprofessional to even ask. I don't think I could trust someone who was trying to take advantage of me and think this would totally change the way I looked at my nanny. I'd probably even consider firing her. |
Anonymous
| You either pay enough to live on or you hire a girl with parents or a husband to support her. Simple. |
Anonymous
OP's nanny is paid $4300 a month plus extras. that's a salary a lot of people can live on. |
Anonymous
| Lots of nannies live on 25/hr or less. Something here is wrong. |
Anonymous
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I'm just going through this with our nanny now and it's very difficult. We want to help her (in a jam w/ car repairs) but we don't want to establish a dangerous precedent. She doesn't have friends or family here to support her, she doesn't manage her money well, but we care for her and want to support her.
It can be a very difficult line to draw, with lots of subjective issues on all sides. |