au pairs and toddlers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think an au pair can handle this, but I think they are going to take their direction from you. Are you tough with your toddlers and enforce the rules? Will you back them up when they do? If so, I think they will do fine.

I often see posts about APs being children. We never get APs that are under 21. Helps with drinking issues but also they are typicall more mature.

I had a 21 yo AP that was NOT mature.

I think it depends.

[Anonymous]

To add some reassurance to the mix, we have had four au pairs who covered us during infant/toddler/pre-school years with little ones two years apart. Our first and third did not work out, but they would not have worked out very well for us even if we had school-aged kids at the time - and we blame ourselves for poor screening and interviewing. We really did not put the proper effort in to searching, screening and interviewing, and we'll know better in the future (I know, I know - why did we repeat the same mistake twice? Can't tell you....) Luckily for us, we did very well in re-match twice. (In re-match, if you live in a big east coast city it is usually easy to meet re-match candidates in person - and quickly - because either they are already in the area, or they are staying in the area, or a short bus ride away, after leaving wherever they were; everyone knows someone in NY or DC, right?)

After rematching with #1, we had #2 for two years; she came to us out of re-match herself, was not an Extraordinnaire, and was AMAZING with our then-infant and toddler, and was with us until they were a toddler and pre-schooler. She was on the older side (20s), and had had some daycare experience (the "internship" type that au pair agencies in some other countries have the applicants do), but truly she was just amazing with that age of children. She learned from her daycare internship, from her short experience with her first host family, and was incredibly resourceful, patient, creative and intuitive.

We are now on #4, and she also came to us out of re-match. She did not have formal experience with pre-schoolers and toddlers, though had been a nanny for school-aged children. But she too is amazing with our toddler and pre-schooler (2 and 4). She has the intuition, maturity, patience, etc.

The point is - they are out there. Extraordinnaire au pairs may have more guaranteed experience (though I am so skeptical of anything that goes onto the written applications), but they are certainly not the only option. Intereview and screen well as you would for a nanny, have a little bit of faith and trust that if you have to go into re-match there are still good options available, and you will have a good chance of having a great au pair experience with a toddler and pre-schooler. Also - if you need someone for September, just start screening and interviewing now. You will get the candidates who are "planners" - mature and looking ahead for what they want to do in the fall, perhaps for the year or two after they finish college this spring.

[Anonymous]

"Also - if you need someone for September, just start screening and interviewing now. You will get the candidates who are "planners" - mature and looking ahead for what they want to do in the fall, perhaps for the year or two after they finish college this spring."

Absolutely agree with this. We have already matched for our late August arrival, and it was clear in the applications online now that the folks there were the go-getters and the planners. I had to do much less "weeding out" than I usually do (I normally start in late March/April).