Time off over holidays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because it's a cultural exchance doesn't mean it's a charity.

Ha, if thats true then cut the BS about wanting a member of the family and wanting to introduce someone to your culture. Admit you want cheap labor, and someone who can't say no when you tell them they are working NYE so you can party. Don't spout the cultural exchange crap when someone calls you on the unfairness of it all.

First of all, it's not cheap.

Second of all, I do enjoy the cultural exchange.

Third of all, it depends on the personality mesh, but 2/3 of my au pairs thus far have truly become part of the family.

Forth of all, none of this means that I am going to prioritize my au pair's free time above and beyond the guidelines and above and beyond my own. I will be fair and equitable and flexible to ensure that we're all playing by the rules AND all have the oppotunity to have some fun.

[Anonymous]

Cheap, it is NOT.

[Anonymous]

In honor of this thread I will have my AP work all day Christmas day while I leave the house to relax somewhere, when we open the presents she will be excluded and has to stay in her room until the oversugared kids are getting on my nerves. But it is all good because I will pay $20/hour. Cheers!

[Anonymous]

Back to the original question -

I'm a fed, and generally give our au pairs the day off on any federal holiday. This year we're also giving her New Years Eve and New Year's Day off - not charging vacation - largely because we know if we do she'll go to New York with her friends and give me and my husband a few days "to ourselves". We like our au pair - we just also like a few days "alone" in our house. And if her plans fell through and she stayed home we wouldn't lock her out or anything We don't celebrate New Years in a big way, so we don't have her work (in fact, our LCC recommends that we give our au pair New Year's Eve evening off if at all possible. Of course if you agreed otherwise during matching that's something else entirely.)

I'm also taking Christmas Eve and the 26th off, and have family coming into town those days. We haven't told her she has the day off but also don't expect much in terms of work out of her those days. I know of families that purposefully schedule au pairs to work a few hour on Thanksgiving and Christmas so they'll have guaranteed help watching the kids while they're cooking dinner! That seems reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am off the week between Christmas/New Years. While I am not making the AP work full days those days, I do need her help some of the time.

I gave her off NYE.

Christmas is a family event and while she's not working, just like Thanksgiving, she will be around to provide help as needed...

Why is your family so slothful and lazy they can't clean up after themsrlves? Also, wby can't you look after your children for one day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In honor of this thread I will have my AP work all day Christmas day while I leave the house to relax somewhere, when we open the presents she will be excluded and has to stay in her room until the oversugared kids are getting on my nerves. But it is all good because I will pay $20/hour. Cheers!

I do not doubt for a single moment that you would not hesitate to do this if it suited your purposes. You would, however, only pay her minimum wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back to the original question -

I'm a fed, and generally give our au pairs the day off on any federal holiday. This year we're also giving her New Years Eve and New Year's Day off - not charging vacation - largely because we know if we do she'll go to New York with her friends and give me and my husband a few days "to ourselves". We like our au pair - we just also like a few days "alone" in our house. And if her plans fell through and she stayed home we wouldn't lock her out or anything We don't celebrate New Years in a big way, so we don't have her work (in fact, our LCC recommends that we give our au pair New Year's Eve evening off if at all possible. Of course if you agreed otherwise during matching that's something else entirely.)

I'm also taking Christmas Eve and the 26th off, and have family coming into town those days. We haven't told her she has the day off but also don't expect much in terms of work out of her those days. I know of families that purposefully schedule au pairs to work a few hour on Thanksgiving and Christmas so they'll have guaranteed help watching the kids while they're cooking dinner! That seems reasonable to me.

I cooked Thanksgiving, Christmas dinners without help and it was easy. Why can't you cook a, really relati ely simple meal and need help with your cjildren. Tbe turmey is cooked in the oven and it is simplya a matter of being ORGANIZED to prepare vegetables, salad, side dishes and desserts. Why does the AP have to help YOU prepare, clean up, or watch your kuds. Why can't your husband help you because he really is a family member. It is selfishness and laziness on part of you and other HM's. As for not being cheap, if AP's weren't far less expensive than nannies, you wouldn't have one. No OT, no pesky labor laws to follow.

[Anonymous]

Is it a full moon? Seems like all the crazy anti-AP-program folks came out of their holes at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back to the original question -

I'm a fed, and generally give our au pairs the day off on any federal holiday. This year we're also giving her New Years Eve and New Year's Day off - not charging vacation - largely because we know if we do she'll go to New York with her friends and give me and my husband a few days "to ourselves". We like our au pair - we just also like a few days "alone" in our house. And if her plans fell through and she stayed home we wouldn't lock her out or anything We don't celebrate New Years in a big way, so we don't have her work (in fact, our LCC recommends that we give our au pair New Year's Eve evening off if at all possible. Of course if you agreed otherwise during matching that's something else entirely.)

I'm also taking Christmas Eve and the 26th off, and have family coming into town those days. We haven't told her she has the day off but also don't expect much in terms of work out of her those days. I know of families that purposefully schedule au pairs to work a few hour on Thanksgiving and Christmas so they'll have guaranteed help watching the kids while they're cooking dinner! That seems reasonable to me.

I cooked Thanksgiving, Christmas dinners without help and it was easy. Why can't you cook a, really relati ely simple meal and need help with your cjildren. Tbe turmey is cooked in the oven and it is simplya a matter of being ORGANIZED to prepare vegetables, salad, side dishes and desserts. Why does the AP have to help YOU prepare, clean up, or watch your kuds. Why can't your husband help you because he really is a family member. It is selfishness and laziness on part of you and other HM's. As for not being cheap, if AP's weren't far less expensive than nannies, you wouldn't have one. No OT, no pesky labor laws to follow.

And maybe this is why you are so bitter, because you're stressed out, judgmental, and self-satisfied all at once? Maybe if you got a little help or took a few minutes to socialize every now and then, or got a minute of adult time away from your children the way the PP is asking,you wouldn't feel the need to post this "I'm better than you are" note.

[Anonymous]

22:28, when you know the truth has hit you in the face, the only thing you know how to do is attack the messenger. You are a crap mother of accessory children. Anyone who can't take care of their children and cook a meal is an abysmal failure at parenthood. Your children will be the next generation posting on DCUM about what selfish mothers they had.

[Anonymous]

"cultural appreciation" isn't real. it's all a crock of shit.

there's no excuse for having a live-in american nanny unless you're ill, are a single parent and can afford help, or if you have a child with special needs.

it's laziness. if you work too many hours, you shouldn't have had kids. or you can stop living above your means and have more time at home with the kids,

having an AP is even more. they bring over women with no way out. it's basically a trap.

my best friend was basically raised by a nanny who worked 40-65 hours a week. she remembers memories with her "nonny" (nickname) more than her parents. She loves her parents and they have a good relationship, but she does realize they chose to work more than they had to (could have survived perfectly fine with just a salary from the husband).

to PP, wow you let her leave 1 hour before midnight leaving her zero time to get to a party or something.

I met a German AP at a friends pool in in 2002-2003. She was in her mid 20's and I was in high school. She was miserable.

[Anonymous]

So you are using one example to lump all APs into? One German girl who was miserable? Wow...how open minded of you.

The AP is here to help. Period. To let her relax on an American holiday while you juggle it all is ridicules. FYI I don't have a husband to help me while I cook, decorate and get things ready. That's why the AP is here. To help me. Not to do it all but to help me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are using one example to lump all APs into? One German girl who was miserable? Wow...how open minded of you.

The AP is here to help. Period. To let her relax on an American holiday while you juggle it all is ridicules. FYI I don't have a husband to help me while I cook, decorate and get things ready. That's why the AP is here. To help me. Not to do it all but to help me.

At least you admit that an AP is nothing more than cheap labor who only raison d'etre is to wait on you. You chose to be a single parent, so stop griping.

[Anonymous]

Yes I hope to bring more over and use and abuse them.

STFU...you know nothing about what you say.

[Anonymous]

PP here about German AP

There was a huge paragraph I must have cut out by accident. The German AP told us about what life was like and she was rightfully miserable. I'm too lazy to retype it all now.