driving and phone use/ navigation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's to stop her from buying her own smart phone?

She could, but it's expensive to buy the phone and then get it on her own plan. I wouldn't let her put it on my family plan. Plus, it's very simple to make the rule "you may not have your personal phone outside of your room/on your person while working." The phone I provide my au pair is primarily so I can reach her. She can use it for personal calls but not for web surfing and not while she's working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think grounding her is kinda a strange reaction - would you do that to a professional nanny? I would talk to her, maybe with the LLC to help show her how seriously you take the issue. If there are other issues or it continues, then consider re-match. But realize that other adults use their phones while driving. So treat her like an adult, but don't treat her like she's a 10-year old.

She is not a professional nanny, so she won't be treated as one. But if I had a professional nanny, I would have the same rule. No phones while driving. And if she did not comply I would give her,a warning then fire her. You can't fire an au pair but I would send her packing. But you're right. No need for grounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's to stop her from buying her own smart phone?

Just b/c she has it doesn't mean she is allowed to use it (while working) Besides isn't it expensive to buy your own plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Besides, don't you see how the nav system can be a distraction just as the phone can be? The point is to eliminate distractions. I learned my way w/o a nav system, as I bet most of us have at some time in our life.

I can't even imagine going back to paper directions after using a Garmin and now my phone - I tried recently and it was SO much more unsafe to be looking down at the seat next to me to a sheet of paper, and trying to figure out where I was in the list of directions to pick up where I left off in terms of navigating.

I think a Garmin or a phone would be way safer for someone unfamiliar with the area. However after a couple months, surely you don't need one to get to the store or the school. But some people take longer to acclimate to driving around a different area and certainly a navigational aide is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a Garmin for my au pair for this exact reason. I also provide her with a phone that is NOT a smart phone for this very reason. I actually have spare smart phones but why introduce the temptation/distraction.

All that said, SHE BRIBED YOUR CHILDREN TO LIE TO YOU. You REALLY need to rematch. You need this because you can't trust her farther than you can throw her. AND your children were just taught by her that lying has its rewards. Now they need to be shown by you that it has its consequences. Sending her on her way will send your children an excellent message. (Not a punishment to them! -- emphasize that -- a punishment to her.)

Longtime HM here who agrees 100% with the first paragraph (get a Garmin, get rid of the smart phone).

About paragraph #2, I am a HM who has a terrible track record of picking APs in the two times we have gone through rematch over the years. I am what our LCC calls "rematch-phobic." We probably should have rematched with our current AP back in Oct but didn't, because I am not someone who takes rematch very, very seriously. With that said, I want to say that I agree with paragraph #2 completely as well. This is not an AP I would trust ever again.

[Anonymous]

PP here - correction - I AM someone who takes rematch seriously (mistaken use of "not" in that paragraph)

[Anonymous]

OP here and I appreciate the different opinions. To clarify, I did not give her a smart phone, she brought one and somehow converted her phone number to a US one? I gave her a plain phone but she lost it (she said). Now she pays for her own phone. But I'm shocked that people think that au pairs NEED to have a GPS, like its a given or an entitlement. Seriously? I guess if she was going sightseeing and driving all over town to new places, sure, it would be useful. But for everyday driving? To find a friend's house in the same town? Can they learn to get around and just read directions? I was 20 at one point and moved to Chicago and well, I learned how to get around in a couple of months. Wow, I feel like an old fart and I'm only 38. BTW, there is no language problem..she is a native English speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I appreciate the different opinions. To clarify, I did not give her a smart phone, she brought one and somehow converted her phone number to a US one? I gave her a plain phone but she lost it (she said). Now she pays for her own phone. But I'm shocked that people think that au pairs NEED to have a GPS, like its a given or an entitlement. Seriously? I guess if she was going sightseeing and driving all over town to new places, sure, it would be useful. But for everyday driving? To find a friend's house in the same town? Can they learn to get around and just read directions? I was 20 at one point and moved to Chicago and well, I learned how to get around in a couple of months. Wow, I feel like an old fart and I'm only 38. BTW, there is no language problem..she is a native English speaker.

You sound like an old fart, too. Get with the times.

It's far safer to use a Garmin than a cell phone to navigate. Are you even listening to pps? Get a Garmin and she has no reason to use the phone in the car. Period.

[Anonymous]

Quick question. You mentioned she is a native English speaker. Is she from a country that drives on the opposite side of the road as the US? I am an American who lived in Australia for a year, and i basically did not drive the entire year because I was so worried about the change of road sides. Is it possible the GPS makes her feel more confident in her driving abilities because of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick question. You mentioned she is a native English speaker. Is she from a country that drives on the opposite side of the road as the US? I am an American who lived in Australia for a year, and i basically did not drive the entire year because I was so worried about the change of road sides. Is it possible the GPS makes her feel more confident in her driving abilities because of this?

No, she's German, but one of her parents is British, and they spoke English at home.

[Anonymous]

We bought navigation for our German au pair. While I like our au pairs, and they are good drivers, I think some of them are not that bright when it comes to maps. Perhaps its an age/new technology thing, as they are just used to always being able to look up directions on the compter or checking a phone. They are definitely not map-smart and yes I think they should just learn how to read a map and figure it out. And yet because they take care of my kids and I am tired of them getting lost on the way to playdates, I think $100 for a navigation system is worth it to end the frustration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought navigation for our German au pair. While I like our au pairs, and they are good drivers, I think some of them are not that bright when it comes to maps. Perhaps its an age/new technology thing, as they are just used to always being able to look up directions on the compter or checking a phone. They are definitely not map-smart and yes I think they should just learn how to read a map and figure it out. And yet because they take care of my kids and I am tired of them getting lost on the way to playdates, I think $100 for a navigation system is worth it to end the frustration.

One take away from this discussion, for me: I will not let my teenagers use GPS when they learn to drive. I will take them to a new place and make them read maps, follow directions and figure out how to get "un-lost" when lost. This is ridiculous and a real safety issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought navigation for our German au pair. While I like our au pairs, and they are good drivers, I think some of them are not that bright when it comes to maps. Perhaps its an age/new technology thing, as they are just used to always being able to look up directions on the compter or checking a phone. They are definitely not map-smart and yes I think they should just learn how to read a map and figure it out. And yet because they take care of my kids and I am tired of them getting lost on the way to playdates, I think $100 for a navigation system is worth it to end the frustration.

One take away from this discussion, for me: I will not let my teenagers use GPS when they learn to drive. I will take them to a new place and make them read maps, follow directions and figure out how to get "un-lost" when lost. This is ridiculous and a real safety issue.

I just had to pipe in with a story this made me recall. When my son was 2 1/2 we were driving somewhere we went all the time and he INSISTED that I was going the wrong way. I promised him that we were going the right way and that I'd simply turn around if we didn't reach our destination and he said "use the GPS."

[Anonymous]

I'm a previous poster who also has a Garmin for my German APs.

But honestly, I can't believe this has turned into a discussion about whether to get a Garmin or make your AP learn to use maps. OP, the AP lied to you, she tried to get your children to lie to you, and she is TEXTING and on the PHONE while driving. I don't understand why you're fixating on the issue of whether you should get her a GPS or not. WHY is she still taking care of your children when she has shown herself to be untrustworthy, unconcerned about safety, and unbothered by bribing your children to collude with her?

This AP would be so far on her way to rematch with us, and without a recommendation from us to drive in her new home. Is it possible that the texting and talking while driving aren't really a big deal to you? Here is what our handbook says about phone use and driving:

Talking on the Phone and Texting in the Car:
Please do not use your cellphone while driving in the car, except in the case of an emergency. If you must place or answer a call (only to or from a host parent or to 911) while you are driving, then please only speak while using a hands-free headset. It is illegal to hold a phone in your hand while driving.

Likewise, it is also illegal, as well as very unsafe, to text at all while driving. We are very serious in asking that you do not EVER text while driving or remove your eyes from the road to check a text, even for a second. If you must send or check a text, then please pull over to the side of the road to a safe place before picking up your phone. This is a major area of concern for us (and would be cause for rematch, because it is such a dangerous behavior), so please let us know if you have any questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a previous poster who also has a Garmin for my German APs.

But honestly, I can't believe this has turned into a discussion about whether to get a Garmin or make your AP learn to use maps. OP, the AP lied to you, she tried to get your children to lie to you, and she is TEXTING and on the PHONE while driving. I don't understand why you're fixating on the issue of whether you should get her a GPS or not. WHY is she still taking care of your children when she has shown herself to be untrustworthy, unconcerned about safety, and unbothered by bribing your children to collude with her?

This AP would be so far on her way to rematch with us, and without a recommendation from us to drive in her new home. Is it possible that the texting and talking while driving aren't really a big deal to you? Here is what our handbook says about phone use and driving:

Talking on the Phone and Texting in the Car:
Please do not use your cellphone while driving in the car, except in the case of an emergency. If you must place or answer a call (only to or from a host parent or to 911) while you are driving, then please only speak while using a hands-free headset. It is illegal to hold a phone in your hand while driving.

Likewise, it is also illegal, as well as very unsafe, to text at all while driving. We are very serious in asking that you do not EVER text while driving or remove your eyes from the road to check a text, even for a second. If you must send or check a text, then please pull over to the side of the road to a safe place before picking up your phone. This is a major area of concern for us (and would be cause for rematch, because it is such a dangerous behavior), so please let us know if you have any questions.

I may steal this verbiage for my next handbook if you don't mind.