Is it rude to ask hair dresser if I can style myself after a cut?

[Anonymous]

I have very curly hair and, even when I get a great cut, all hair stylists make me look terrible after a cut. They spritz my hair with a water bottle, use them wrong products and then defuse it in a way that makes my hair look much less full and curly than it is. This has been true my whole life—I just shower and redo my hair when I get home from a haircut.

Tomorrow, I’m getting my haircut and won’t have time to redo my hair before dinner plans. Would it be terribly rude to bring my own haircare products and tell my stylist that, after my cut, I want to do my own hair? I just need him to wet it in the sink so it’s soaked and then I want to apply my own product without his assistance.

Please don’t tell me to get a new stylist—this happens no matter who cuts my hair! I’m just wondering if it’s offensive to ask to style it myself. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I think they'd have a problem with you using your own products, but if you keep that part quiet you might be okay.

FWIW, I had a hairdresser years ago who gave me a whole pep talk about how hairdressers want people to like how they look when they get up from the chair, and she was saying this to me as my eyes filled with tears because I hated how my hair looked and didn't know I could say anything. She taught me to speak up. Can you teach your stylist to style your hair for you the way you want? It's okay to say "Actually, my hair doesn't look good with water sprayed on it - could you please skip that step? And could you use Y instead of X - I've found that works best on my hair."

When I got my hair defused it took years before someone did it right and I learned I need to tell them to put my hair in the diffuser and then DON'T TOUCH IT. I can't believe how many hair dressers don't know this. It screws up the process when you mess with it.

[Anonymous]

No, not rude. Just explain you’re going to an event and would she mind if you style your own hair? I hate how my hairdresser styles my hair too. She always does soft waves with the round brush, which I hate.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s 100% fine. I have curly hair, too. It never looks good after a cut when the stylist does the styling part. It’s always flat on tip with the curls weirdly elongated. I have to wash and redo when I get home.

Any stylist who understand curly hair should be absolutely ok with your request. Just explain it isn’t about them or their skills; curls are finicky and us curlies usually know ours the best. And maybe they’ll learn a bit more about your hair!

[Anonymous]

Not rude at all. And you’re paying a pretty penny too. I often tell my hairstylist to not style it or blow it out because I’m just heading home (which is true unfortunately lol). Lately if she does style it, it looks like a Karen blowout. Not my style! Enjoy your plans tomorrow

[Anonymous]

My hair is curly, too, and I also wet my hair and apply my own products after I get home! Glad to find out I'm not the only one.

[Anonymous]

My sister used to leave with hair color in her hair and would wash it out at home. She hated wasting time in the salon. Speak your mind girl.

[Anonymous]

This is so good to read b/c I also have curly hair and hate how every stylist does my hair after the cut. I always come home and tell my family "this is not how my real hair will look when I do it myself" b/c it always looks so awful.

I thought it was just me but glad to read it isn't.

[Anonymous]

I just get my hair cut at the end of the day, so I can come home and not see anyone. I wash and style it properly the next morning.

[Anonymous]

My stylist is talented but nickels and dimes so she charges extra for a shampoo and extra for styling. I already wash my hair in the morning so I come in with clean hair. She styles it better than I do but if I know I'm about to go workout or just hang out at home I tell her not to worry about styling.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, good stylists want you to leave happy and want you to tell them how they can help make that happen.

[Anonymous]

Another option is just to say you want a cut and not have it styled. Leave with it damp, re-wet and style at home with your products instead of lugging them to the salon. My penny-pinching mom used to do this all the time to save money.

I've done it a few times as an adult when I was in your shoes and never had any issues. I do always tip generously, especially if the price is reduced for opting out of the style portion.

[Anonymous]

I have told the hair dresser not to style it after a cut. My reason was that I was going swimming later that day so it would be pointless. So I walked out of the salon with damp hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have told the hair dresser not to style it after a cut. My reason was that I was going swimming later that day so it would be pointless. So I walked out of the salon with damp hair.

Just to add, she charges the same price whether or not I get it styled.

[Anonymous]

Curly hair here and I feel your pain. I don't let them blow dry my hair. I tell them to put in an anti-frizz product. That's it.

It's short, curly, and the drying/styling looks awful (to me) because they treat it like straight hair. It took me a long time to tell them not to fool with it after the cut. Also, after a cut my hair goes into what a previous stylist called 'scissor shock.' It takes a few days for the curls to look right. I was thrilled that that stylist got it.