Anonymous
10/03/2021 22:40
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone knows men don't actually care for their OW.
Meh. Men compartmentalize. They can feel like they love someone but it doesn’t translate into the practical day to day arrangements that would make that person feel good, unless social norms dictate that they provide it and they will dutifully do so without thinking. The key part is without thinking. Men don’t think. They do. I guarantee OP’s guy didn’t think about how this would make her feel.
They love you as long as nobody they know or respects ever sees you?
Okay your definition of live is odd.
I’m not saying this is my definition. I’m saying I see many men live with these internal contradictions, by compartmentalizing.
You don’t know what compartmentalizing Means.
It doesn’t mean he loves 2 women. It means in 1 life he is a loving supportive husband and father. But he has a 2nd life he keeps in a “compartment “ where he is an a-hole, loser who bangs chicks he doesn’t love but leads them on and treats them like sh!t.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 22:25
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
95% of these replies are so spectacularly useless.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 22:25
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone knows men don't actually care for their OW.
Meh. Men compartmentalize. They can feel like they love someone but it doesn’t translate into the practical day to day arrangements that would make that person feel good, unless social norms dictate that they provide it and they will dutifully do so without thinking. The key part is without thinking. Men don’t think. They do. I guarantee OP’s guy didn’t think about how this would make her feel.
They love you as long as nobody they know or respects ever sees you?
Okay your definition of live is odd.
I’m not saying this is my definition. I’m saying I see many men live with these internal contradictions, by compartmentalizing.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:44
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
We hadn't been physical in a few months leading up to it and had gone from daily to weekly communication but the bond was still deep. I have tried my best not to rekindle things for his benefit but for mine too.
I never thought he was going to leave his wife for me and I am not sure I wanted him to (at least after the initial infatuation wore off). He never spoke I'll of his wife. I used to tell him his wife could put me out of business if she would have sex with him and be kind to him.
You won't find support on this forum but I wish you well. If you truly care about him you will give him and you the space you need to heal and find a way to be with someone who can give his whole self to you.
He never spoke ill of his wife.
Next sentence… she was mean and they didn’t have sex.
😂😂😂😂😂
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:43
Subject: This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Op there is nothing to end, other than your obsession with him.
/ End threa
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:42
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
We hadn't been physical in a few months leading up to it and had gone from daily to weekly communication but the bond was still deep. I have tried my best not to rekindle things for his benefit but for mine too.
I never thought he was going to leave his wife for me and I am not sure I wanted him to (at least after the initial infatuation wore off). He never spoke I'll of his wife. I used to tell him his wife could put me out of business if she would have sex with him and be kind to him.
You won't find support on this forum but I wish you well. If you truly care about him you will give him and you the space you need to heal and find a way to be with someone who can give his whole self to you.
Women are still believing these lies.
20% of marriages are sexless. It's actually true sometimes
But it likely isn't in the case.just what the cheating husband told this poster to get her to sleep with him
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:41
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
We hadn't been physical in a few months leading up to it and had gone from daily to weekly communication but the bond was still deep. I have tried my best not to rekindle things for his benefit but for mine too.
I never thought he was going to leave his wife for me and I am not sure I wanted him to (at least after the initial infatuation wore off). He never spoke I'll of his wife. I used to tell him his wife could put me out of business if she would have sex with him and be kind to him.
You won't find support on this forum but I wish you well. If you truly care about him you will give him and you the space you need to heal and find a way to be with someone who can give his whole self to you.
20% of marriages are sexless. It's actually true sometimes
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:40
Subject: This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Op there is nothing to end, other than your obsession with him.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:27
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
We hadn't been physical in a few months leading up to it and had gone from daily to weekly communication but the bond was still deep. I have tried my best not to rekindle things for his benefit but for mine too.
I never thought he was going to leave his wife for me and I am not sure I wanted him to (at least after the initial infatuation wore off). He never spoke I'll of his wife. I used to tell him his wife could put me out of business if she would have sex with him and be kind to him.
You won't find support on this forum but I wish you well. If you truly care about him you will give him and you the space you need to heal and find a way to be with someone who can give his whole self to you.
Women are still believing these lies.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:23
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
We hadn't been physical in a few months leading up to it and had gone from daily to weekly communication but the bond was still deep. I have tried my best not to rekindle things for his benefit but for mine too.
I never thought he was going to leave his wife for me and I am not sure I wanted him to (at least after the initial infatuation wore off). He never spoke I'll of his wife. I used to tell him his wife could put me out of business if she would have sex with him and be kind to him.
You won't find support on this forum but I wish you well. If you truly care about him you will give him and you the space you need to heal and find a way to be with someone who can give his whole self to you.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:19
Subject: This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the only one who still has no idea what OP was talking about in her original post? She’s not in contact with him yet is asking if she should end it because of something they happened before or some such thing? And follow-up posts didn’t clarify.
OP, is there an alternative to letting him go? Hasn’t he ended it? What exactly is your question?!?!?!
Oh no you've got the gist of it. OP is living in fantasy land, and is on the cusp of realizing she's in fantasy land.
Here's some easy reading on OP's situation ]https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/986830.page#20412465
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/987392.page
Oh boy, thank you for this.
"Karma got him. You're next." Priceless.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:13
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.
I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.
Thank you. I do understand that. I also understand that it comes with the territory, even though I think most APs are never forced to realize it. How did your story turn out? What did you do afterwards? Curious.
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:13
Subject: This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the only one who still has no idea what OP was talking about in her original post? She’s not in contact with him yet is asking if she should end it because of something they happened before or some such thing? And follow-up posts didn’t clarify.
OP, is there an alternative to letting him go? Hasn’t he ended it? What exactly is your question?!?!?!
Oh no you've got the gist of it. OP is living in fantasy land, and is on the cusp of realizing she's in fantasy land.
Here's some easy reading on OP's situation ]https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/986830.page#20412465
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/987392.page
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:11
Subject: This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
I guess I’m the only one who still has no idea what OP was talking about in her original post? She’s not in contact with him yet is asking if she should end it because of something they happened before or some such thing? And follow-up posts didn’t clarify.
OP, is there an alternative to letting him go? Hasn’t he ended it? What exactly is your question?!?!?!
OP, is there an alternative to letting him go? Hasn’t he ended it? What exactly is your question?!?!?!
Anonymous
10/03/2021 21:07
Subject: Re:This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?
Thank you for asking, it is 100% relevant but not something I would disclose to this group. Sorry.
That’s fine I sympathize. I have many friends who got bamboozled by a man.
Seriously get therapy I’m not joking you can have a great life you can forget this user of a loser. You will look back on this time as a horrible mistake and you will see him in a clear light.
You deserve a good life and he has enabled you to waste years on a dead end road and never gave 2 sh!ts about how it’s left you lost and alone.
Getting involved with a married man is not being bamboozled. It’s being a complete idiot. Obviously, he’s a liar and it’s not going to end well.
She was 100% complicit in this evil arrangement. I’m not sure why people think she’s the “good one”. They were both messed up and evil people living a lie that was bound to hurt innocent people. She knew that and willingly went after it.
Now she needs to get the hell over it and be better. Right now she’s a pretty shitty person.
Thank you for this, PP -- yes!!
"Bamboozled" LMAO, way to take no agency for your own life decisions. Ridiculous.