Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 21:01     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I posted the same questions a few weeks ago. I was leaning towards one, but decided to keep dating both and see what happened (while being honest with both, of course).

I’m really glad I did, because the one I was leaning towards ended up having problems that didn’t come out until later on.

I think there’s generally a lot of pressure on women to choose, commit, and put out early on, but 5 dates is nothing. I think it takes a solid 12-15 before people’s true colors begin to show.

Let them know you aren’t ready to be exclusive and keep dating both another few weeks. How they handle it will tell you a LOT about their character. A man who can’t wait 2-3 months to be physically intimate and pressure you to choose is NOT the kind of man you want to be with long term.


Were you the poster who was seeing the doctor and the other guy who you had more chemistry with? If so - what happened?


Yup that was me

I was leaning towards doctor guy, since he had no kids, a good career, and he was a very sweet guy. But it started becoming clear he had some challenges with mental health. Which I understand, but that’s not something I want to manage long-term. He also started feeling insecure that I didn’t want to rush things physically, and even though he said he was fine with it and didn’t outright pressure me, he started asking questions I was uncomfortable with.

Things are so much better with chemistry guy. I’m much more at ease, we have more in common, our conversation flows so much better, and it feels way more natural. I also went through a stressful situation while dating both, and he handled it much better.


That’s awesome! I’m so glad to hear this update.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 20:34     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating two guys at the same time and I don’t know who to choose. It started off as first dates around the same time, and now it’s up our fifth date this past weekend. They are both really great guys and have qualities I want in a man. I do like one slightly more than the other, but then the other guy wins me over again on a date.

I usually date one guy but I’m in my early thirties and don’t have time to waste. I spent way too long in a relationship with the hopes or marriage, and I wanted to try multiple guys to see how that goes. Now I feel like I’m at a point where I have to break it off with one guy, but I can’t decide which guy.


Single mom here. I have been dating 3 guys for most of the last few months and been intimate with all of them. You do not know a person really well until you see them in different situations. You also need to see if you are sexually compatible.

It takes way too much time to date one person at a time especially if you are above 30 and want to have more children.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 20:17     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I posted the same questions a few weeks ago. I was leaning towards one, but decided to keep dating both and see what happened (while being honest with both, of course).

I’m really glad I did, because the one I was leaning towards ended up having problems that didn’t come out until later on.

I think there’s generally a lot of pressure on women to choose, commit, and put out early on, but 5 dates is nothing. I think it takes a solid 12-15 before people’s true colors begin to show.

Let them know you aren’t ready to be exclusive and keep dating both another few weeks. How they handle it will tell you a LOT about their character. A man who can’t wait 2-3 months to be physically intimate and pressure you to choose is NOT the kind of man you want to be with long term.


Were you the poster who was seeing the doctor and the other guy who you had more chemistry with? If so - what happened?


Yup that was me

I was leaning towards doctor guy, since he had no kids, a good career, and he was a very sweet guy. But it started becoming clear he had some challenges with mental health. Which I understand, but that’s not something I want to manage long-term. He also started feeling insecure that I didn’t want to rush things physically, and even though he said he was fine with it and didn’t outright pressure me, he started asking questions I was uncomfortable with.

Things are so much better with chemistry guy. I’m much more at ease, we have more in common, our conversation flows so much better, and it feels way more natural. I also went through a stressful situation while dating both, and he handled it much better.


OP, I missed the other thread. Is there some reason why you're not picking better chemistry guy? It sounds like you've already decided that you're not interested in marriage and kids with the doctor.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 20:06     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:OP is this one of the guys you are dating? If so he might know.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/989885.page


I don’t think OP is the same person. I don’t think she’s been married.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:21     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
OP is this one of the guys you are dating? If so he might know.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/989885.page
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:19     Subject: Re:Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do either of these men know that you are dating another guy?

Do they think you are exclusive??


????!!!

I was wondering the same. They both might walk when find out she’s boning then within hours of one another.


She has not been dating them for long. There is no way she is sleeping with either one. DCUM minimum date time to sex is 1 year 8 months and that is pushing.

Anyways she should dump both of them because neither figured out she is seeing other people. You do not want to marry someone who misses something like that….or maybe you do
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 15:16     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the others that you are better not picking yet, but just make sure you are being honest with both that you aren't exclusive.


Neither are them. Why do people keep thinking she holds all the cards?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 14:15     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
I agree with the others that you are better not picking yet, but just make sure you are being honest with both that you aren't exclusive.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:52     Subject: Re:Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Yesss sis!
Pick who ever has more money!

Jk jk

I’d say meet their parents first, see his background.

Figure out which one would be nicer around kids and who will support you when you get older.

But don’t settle right now if you’re enjoying dating them, you deserve to have options and enjoy this moment of being courted.

Just use protection!

I will say that once you start to get intimate with a guy the feelings start running over so you want to be able to control your emotions.

Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:10     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
as long as they don't think you are exclusive, you have every right to sleep with whoever you want.

Who would you miss if you stopped seeing them?
Does either have a family history that you wouldn't want to replicate (because yes, men repeat their fathers history)?
What do you want and when? Marriage and kids? On what timeline? Does either of them align with that?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 13:04     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I posted the same questions a few weeks ago. I was leaning towards one, but decided to keep dating both and see what happened (while being honest with both, of course).

I’m really glad I did, because the one I was leaning towards ended up having problems that didn’t come out until later on.

I think there’s generally a lot of pressure on women to choose, commit, and put out early on, but 5 dates is nothing. I think it takes a solid 12-15 before people’s true colors begin to show.

Let them know you aren’t ready to be exclusive and keep dating both another few weeks. How they handle it will tell you a LOT about their character. A man who can’t wait 2-3 months to be physically intimate and pressure you to choose is NOT the kind of man you want to be with long term.


Were you the poster who was seeing the doctor and the other guy who you had more chemistry with? If so - what happened?


Yup that was me

I was leaning towards doctor guy, since he had no kids, a good career, and he was a very sweet guy. But it started becoming clear he had some challenges with mental health. Which I understand, but that’s not something I want to manage long-term. He also started feeling insecure that I didn’t want to rush things physically, and even though he said he was fine with it and didn’t outright pressure me, he started asking questions I was uncomfortable with.

Things are so much better with chemistry guy. I’m much more at ease, we have more in common, our conversation flows so much better, and it feels way more natural. I also went through a stressful situation while dating both, and he handled it much better.


Ha I’m so glad to hear this update! I think you did the right thing.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 12:38     Subject: Re:Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:Do either of these men know that you are dating another guy?

Do they think you are exclusive??


????!!!

I was wondering the same. They both might walk when find out she’s boning then within hours of one another.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 12:19     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Wait, why do you need to pick and what's the rush, again?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 10:25     Subject: Re:Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Anonymous wrote:I feel like neither are right because you can’t decide. When you know, you know.


This. When you meet the right guy, you won't struggle to let any others go. Neither is the right guy for you and it sucks when you in your 30's but DO NOT SETTLE because of your age.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2021 10:20     Subject: Dating Two Guys - Need To Make A Decision
Ask, "What do you think your life will look like in 5 years?" to see whose life goals better align with yours.

Who do you have more in common? Who are you more attracted to? Who is closer with their family? Who is kinder/more patient/thoughtful? Who would you want to quarantine with for a year?

Once you answer all those questions, one should be in the lead.