Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you seem a little racist, not very nice, and pretty transactional about finding a partner.

Maybe you need to let loose a little, get your groove back. Find a way to be more or less happy now, then just date a lot.

OP, you may be lovely IRL but you don't come across as nice. Perhaps you might consider how you come across to potential partners? Lots of not-so-pretty women with low paying jobs and no special attributes find partners and have happy marriages. But men want someone who is nice to them.

I don’t think OP is not nice. I think she is just defending herself. People can be mean on these threads. She seemed a little shallow, but not necessarily mean.

Anonymous wrote:OP you seem a little racist, not very nice, and pretty transactional about finding a partner.

Maybe you need to let loose a little, get your groove back. Find a way to be more or less happy now, then just date a lot.

How is OP racist? Because she wants to marry someone of her race? I’m white and married a white man. Am I racist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm if you were in med school you know that tons of women started relationships, got married and had kids at various points in their training. It’s not some insurmountable obstacle. I’m 30 and unmarried butnhave been with my SO for 1.5 yrs and even before I met him I dated regularly. Try to do some deeper introspection on what’s keeping you single. Maybe it’s not something you can change or maybe it’s something you don’t want to change. But it would be good to know.

Op here. I have my faults and flaws, but being single has been on my terms. I threw myself into finishing up my degree, often working and studying 1618 hours a day. The biggest problem is I am unlikely to have children of my own. That’s my biggest hurdle.

You're 32, not 42. Why do you think you won't have kids??

Fertility issues in my family. I also have suffered with pcos since puberty.

Oh, OP, at 32 I had PCOS and was single. That January I made a new year resolution to be more positive and more open to who I dated. Three months later I met my husband. Married at 35, kids at 36 and 39.

Anonymous wrote:You’ve spent the last several years surrounded by educated men with good earning potential who are of similar age. You say you’d have no trouble getting a date, but you just didn’t focus on having a relationship...but now it’s suddenly a huge priority and you’re panicking. Yet you’re also narrowing the pool of men you will consider with very specific criteria. What could someone post here that would help you?

And this pool is where I would keep looking. Do you attend alumni events? Put yourself out there. Do you have any guy friends from your school days that you might want to give a second look to and consider asking out, or could they set you up with their guy friends?

Anonymous wrote:OP you seem a little racist, not very nice, and pretty transactional about finding a partner.

Maybe you need to let loose a little, get your groove back. Find a way to be more or less happy now, then just date a lot.

OP, you may be lovely IRL but you don't come across as nice. Perhaps you might consider how you come across to potential partners? Lots of not-so-pretty women with low paying jobs and no special attributes find partners and have happy marriages. But men want someone who is nice to them.

Go online. State exactly what you want. Report back.

I'm 45 and single, but SO MANY of my friends found good guys after 32. But you can't feel "rushed and hopeless" - you don't make good dating decisions when you're rushed and hopeless, and that can scare off good guys.

Take some time, do the online dating thing and focus on meeting guys who are looking for something serious. You'll have to weed through a bunch of weirdos but bad dates make for good stories. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:I am a 32 year old woman and still single. I know it’s my fault - I chose to focus on my medical degree. Now I feel hopeless. I have had a fwb for the past 6 months while I was in school. I have dated here and there but nothing serious for a year now. Do I rightfully have a sense of urgency to find someone? I want kids, hopefully 2 by the time I’m 40. I feel really rushed and hopeless to find someone.

Anything is better than marrying the wrong person. In that vein, you are way ahead of 40-50% of the people out there.

Try to relax, have a plan to adopt or have kids anyways (misogyny is alive and well so don't think hubby= life partner in 2018, those are still rare, workaholics are not), date for fun and if you get engaged and want kids ask the tough question. The tough questions are things like: how to split household duties, how to raise children, goals for the family and kids, good life habits (clean, tidy, exercise), ability to work together/solve problems effectively, good communication.

I broke up with my long-term, long-distance boyfriend at 32 b/c I decided I was ready to settle down.

I went on Match. Two weeks later I met the man I married two years to the day after our first date (I was 34).

Been married 12 years and we have four children (no multiples).

It you are indeed white, it's strange to caveat your desire for a white partner as your preference. I mean, duh, most people have a preference to date within their race. Of course interracial couples happily exist, but intraracial dating is pretty much the default and doesn't need a callout.
You talk about obtaining a medical degree, knowing that most will assume that means you are a physician when you are not. Strangely misleading.

Do you have issues with being socially awkward?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t you also the author of this thread:

Settling at 32- http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/673464.page

The other OP had a similar salary and was looking for a guy with the same set of criteria.

She posts the same thing every few months. There's no way she's a 7. She's probably a 4 or something.

That’s unnecessary. You should be ashamed of yourself. (NP here.)

No, it's great context. I'm glad PP did it, sometimes you have to certain posters will keep
you spinning around in circles.

The dig about calling her a 4 is what is juvenile and shameful.

Op here. I could care less what some bitter woman has to say on here. Her husband likely cheats on her because she lost her looks. That’s the only reason I can think of for someone to bash another persons looks. I think I’m a 7 but I’ve been told I’m hot. I was even asked to model when I was in my early 20’s. I’m the typical blonde haired, blue eyed, fair skin woman. I’m single because of my lack of trying, not because I can’t find a date.

I'm the person who gave you a 4 and now I can see why you're still single. Your attitude is ugly. What's the point of all your posts? You're hot and have a good job but can't find a guy? Newsflash: Being hot isn't everything if your attitude is ugly. Anyone who thinks men cheat because their wife lost her looks is a loser in my book.

Anonymous wrote:You’ve spent the last several years surrounded by educated men with good earning potential who are of similar age. You say you’d have no trouble getting a date, but you just didn’t focus on having a relationship...but now it’s suddenly a huge priority and you’re panicking. Yet you’re also narrowing the pool of men you will consider with very specific criteria. What could someone post here that would help you?

+1
Not a damn thing.

You’ve spent the last several years surrounded by educated men with good earning potential who are of similar age. You say you’d have no trouble getting a date, but you just didn’t focus on having a relationship...but now it’s suddenly a huge priority and you’re panicking. Yet you’re also narrowing the pool of men you will consider with very specific criteria. What could someone post here that would help you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't a doctor of any kind, don't reference a medical degree. Just say you were in (grad) school.

Not OP. Not only doctors hold a medical degree. I’m a CRNA and I can say I have a medical degree. A medical degree is a degree associated with fields that practice in medicine and surgery.

I hear what you're saying, but it seems misleading for some reason as most of us think "medical degree" as an M.D. I think saying a nursing degree is a lot clearer to us folks who are not in the medical field. ;P

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have plenty of time. I met my DH a month before my 35th birthday. Married at 36 - kids at 37 and 39. I remember my OB saying 75% of his practice was women over 35!

These are my exact stats as well!

I have a good friend with these stats too. Dating, married, 2 kids all within 4 quick years. 5 years before she was about to have a nervous breakdown about it. Life can change quickly, if you're ready for it.