As an attractive woman in my late 50s, I have heard many compliments. at this point I can spot a creeper a mile away. yes, thanks, and bye now.

Anonymous wrote:I have had strangers compliment me before. The last time it happened, I had just started a weight loss program and was feeling pretty down. I was at Whole Foods and had a man come up to me and say "Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. You are very statuesque." I said thank you very much. He said that when you see something or someone that you think is beautiful, you should tell them. Then he walked away. I am from the same mindset as him and he absolutely made my day. There was nothing creepy about how he went about it.

I rarely get so taken by the physical beauty of another person that I feel compelled to comment about it. Every once in a very rare blue moon it happens that a man is so attractive that I get weak kneed - I remember getting out of my car to run into the grocery store one day. Tired wife/mom of 2 little boys dressed in jeans, tee with hair in a pony tail. I looked across the parking lot and - there was this stunning, tall, dark, handsome guy in a business suit looking so hot and powerful and drop dead sexy. It was the sort of thing where you feel the sparks in the air coming off of him....and I couldn't have said two coherent words to the guy if I had wanted to.

It just makes me wonder how these men who are so awestruck by a woman's physical beauty that they chase her down to compliment her can be so calm, cool about it.

Anonymous wrote:OP seems to be recovering nicely from his anxiety about why his long-time girlfriend hasn't bitten the bullet and dumped it yet.


http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/493203.page

What a singular voice you have, sir. Humbert Humbert meets US Weekly.

That is definitely not this OP. This OP has fallen all over himself apologizing (he means well by it, but it comes across horribly) while the guy in the post you linked to would sooner die than apologize for anything- his intellect is too superior for that don't ya know!
Plus this OP seems to be a fan, in his own way, of older women while the guy in the linked lost can't figure out why his "older" 37 year old girlfriend isn't thanking her lucky stars for having him in her life.

Man here -- I occasionally compliment random women and I try to either deflect it from them directly -- ie. praise what they are wearing, one, and two, give them wide berth (meaning you are not cornering them in any physical way). I almost always get a great reaction.

I have had strangers compliment me before. The last time it happened, I had just started a weight loss program and was feeling pretty down. I was at Whole Foods and had a man come up to me and say "Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful. You are very statuesque." I said thank you very much. He said that when you see something or someone that you think is beautiful, you should tell them. Then he walked away. I am from the same mindset as him and he absolutely made my day. There was nothing creepy about how he went about it.

How is this even a relationship question? Ick.

Asking whether someone wants a compliment is extremely creepy.

I get compliments from strangers all the time. Most of the time I am very flattered and it brightens my day. I would be seriously creeped out by OP's comments though. Still I would pretend like I appreciated it.

Anonymous wrote:OP seems to be recovering nicely from his anxiety about why his long-time girlfriend hasn't bitten the bullet and dumped it yet.


http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/493203.page

What a singular voice you have, sir. Humbert Humbert meets US Weekly.

OP

No connection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From a complete stranger, to receive a compliment on my looks would be a little creepy.

I would think you were hitting on me regardless of gender.

Now if you complimented my sweater or purse, that would be a-okay. But to compliment something as personal as my looks is just weird.

OP

In spite of what I wrote...lousy as it was...in the few incidents that I described...not one was a complete stranger. The woman who asked about her butt...in another post I told how that came about.

And one of the reasons I asked whether I could pay a compliment was simple...I didn't want it to come across as my hitting on them.

The vast majority of compliments I pass out...and I try to do so as often as possible...are simple.

Thanks.

This sort of banter does not come naturally to you and it is creeping women out/not appreciated when you make these comments. So stop making them! You're a happily married man who is not looking to hit on random women. Good! You are doing your part, you really are. No need to say a thing.

Yes. I've had men burst out and say "you're beautiful" before. It's usually on a day when I am not feeling very beautiful so it has been a bit of a lift but if someone told me I was aging well I would not like that at all.

Also, may I just tell you sounds like Wimpy from Popeye.

Ladies. Please stop. The OP is a creep. It comes across in every response he writes ("That's my girl!). He's attempting to create a rapport where none exists. He's manipulative. Don't give him anymore tips on how to sound more sincere, and read "The Gift of Fear" if you have not already. It details how predators like this prey on women through tricks like compliments, creating a rapport/relationship where there is none ("that's my girl!), forcing someone to become a stakeholder in a conversation ("may I pay you a compliment?" Now she HAS to answer-she's a forced stakeholder). OP's response will be textbook. I don't want to ruin it but you will see. Please stop helping him.

Most women receive many compliments. As PPs have noted, how we react to them is not necessarily a reflection of what we think. We often just want to do the quickest, most expedient thing. Each guy thinks they are so unique, but you are not. Regarding your particular compliment, I think it's backhanded. Most women kind of dread going from "you look good!" to "you look for your age!" which is what you are saying. You sounded pretty creepy at first, but I'm willing to believe you just portrayed it oddly in your initial post. The woman with the behind - that sounded beyond weird then it turned out that she is not actually a stranger but closer to an acquaintance. At any rate, whatever you said, you'd probably be out of my mind within a few minutes.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to be told I matured well, etc. It sounds condescending that you start with the bit about being over 30. Way too long and awkward.

Yep. And it comes across almost as a "commentary" instead of a compliment, when he's talking about having kept herself in shape. Mentioning that the compliment is only relevant because she's over a certain age and making it so... lecture-y... is weird.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you have to understand that women are conditioned to be "nice" and that's all they are doing when you have these strange conversations. It's creepy.

Yup, and I've had guys stop me in the middle of the street and tell me I'm beautiful, and then just move along. Your "shtick" is too rehearsed- comes on like a pick-up line, not a spontaneous compliment. You're trying to get them to engage with you, not just compliment them and move along. That's why it's creepy.