Did this thread replace the Farmington County club one which has been locked?? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1310943.page

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean that kids are too “Virginian” a how does it differ from the dominant culture of largely suburban and UMC kids from other parts of this country?

We moved to NoVA from the Midwest when the kids were little and this is all they’ve ever known. It does feel a little bit like there is maybe a dominant shared experience here that shapes kids, but I can’t put my finger on it. What is it, exactly? I remember talking to another transplant familiar with NoVA, and I was telling them about our kids’ activities and he commented on how we are totally living the NoVA life. My kids do well in school, are social, and sports are a big part of their lives. But that is the dominant culture pretty much everywhere with college-bound kids.

I am from the Midwest too, and we moved here when our girls were 8, 5, and 2. I think because I was raised and lived somewhere else for most of my life, I have noticed a difference too. I don't think it is the sports, because all American kids have sports and travel teams. IMO, kids (especially girls, but I may think this because I have only girls) are raised and possess a level of self-confidence and assertiveness that I didn't see as much of in the Midwest. I noticed it to the level that I could go into a Doctor's office and tell which of the female PA/nurses were raised here (I used to ask to confirm my guess).

I think the many different cultures in the area combine to make an amazing place to raise kids. I used to joke that my kids grew up on Sesame Street. We love it and are very grateful we moved here.

There are a few "Virginian" cultures that intersect at UVA.
-NOVA (and other parts of VA too) top academic kids who are heavily Asian, South Asian.
-Old money Virginians-white, preppy people who hang out with the (also white) boarding school and private school kids, many of whom are from the south. A very large percentage of the OOS kids are private school/boarding school.

My OOS, public school daughter has found that there aren't a great deal of kids who aren't in either group.

My daughter's best friend is at UVA and absolutely loves it. She is in a medical track- she wants to be a dentist. She sounds a lot like your daughter, she is studious, incredibly smart, kind - and she is also not interested in Greek life. I think UVA is an amazing school for all different types of students. Good luck to you!

What does it mean that kids are too “Virginian” a how does it differ from the dominant culture of largely suburban and UMC kids from other parts of this country?

We moved to NoVA from the Midwest when the kids were little and this is all they’ve ever known. It does feel a little bit like there is maybe a dominant shared experience here that shapes kids, but I can’t put my finger on it. What is it, exactly? I remember talking to another transplant familiar with NoVA, and I was telling them about our kids’ activities and he commented on how we are totally living the NoVA life. My kids do well in school, are social, and sports are a big part of their lives. But that is the dominant culture pretty much everywhere with college-bound kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we are transplants to VA and while we love it here, I totally get what she means about a Virginian vibe (nothing wrong with it IMHO, but it is a thing that those from here may not recognize). For many that vibe is a plus, but it doesn’t seem like UVA has the diversity of culture she would like.

Public schools are always going to have the culture of the state they are in since the majority of students are pulled from in-state. I would suggest looking at private schools in bigger cities. Maybe look at privates with decent size international student base or at least have more US geographically diverse student base. Maybe Georgetown, American, NYU, Northeastern, Boston University, U Chicago, Columbia, Barnard come to mind.

I’ve lived in Virginia for 35 years and have no idea what you are talking about. As for UVA, it can’t be “too Virginian” or whatever you think that means because, first, has an extraordinarily high number of OOS students at 30%, representing almost all, if not all, states. Second it has 6% international student. Third, of those 64% left, 60% of those students come from NOVA, which due to the federal government is one of the most urbane, sophisticated communities in the United States. I’ve taught at UVA and can’t recall ever even hearing a southern accent. If anything, you hear New England and New York accents.

You don’t? I’m a transplant to Va, here nearly 30 years but grew up in a very different state and a UVA grad (not undergrad). The University isn’t for everyone and that’s ok.

And you don’t see the difference in culture between a state school with a large instate population vs a private that pulls from everywhere?

Anonymous wrote:U Mich

Is the vibe at Michigan so different from UVA?

Anonymous wrote:My child, specifically. She is the opposite of a sorority girl. Very sophistocated in my personal opinion and has a lot of experiences kids her age haven't (and vice versa, as she grew up outside of the US). She seems to think it would be a big party with very kids who are very "Virginian," which she finds distainful. Doesn't everyone find their tribe?

OP, ignore the haters. I was worried about my very academic, intellectual (and totally uninterested in Greek scene) kid "finding his tribe" but of course so many kids at UVA don't fit the stereotype of the dominant culture. It seems to me like a lot of kids at UVA find their friends through activities. Mine found his through a debate society and has had a great experience.

You guys, why doesn't this Virginia state university have such a Virginia vibe???!?

So she's telling you that she doesn't want to go in-state.

Sounds like your kid would like an urban campus environment- GWU, BU, NYU. I don’t think it’s about a place being “too Virginia” because many state flagships and privates have a similar student body/vibe as UVA

Anonymous wrote:My child, specifically. She is the opposite of a sorority girl. Very sophistocated in my personal opinion and has a lot of experiences kids her age haven't (and vice versa, as she grew up outside of the US). She seems to think it would be a big party with very kids who are very "Virginian," which she finds distainful. Doesn't everyone find their tribe?

What are her interests outside of school? My DD is at UVA right now and we know several more introverted kids there who are doing really well! BUT....they took initiative to join clubs/teams/etc that interest them. One is on the club running team and having a blast. One is involved in the medical fraternity. Another has gotten involved in volunteering through Madison House. Point I'm trying to make is....they would be fine, but they have to know how to take initiative and actively look for things that interest them and get involved. If they are the type to sit around and wait for things to come to them, they won't be happy. UVA is full of kids who take initiative and get involved, both introverted and extroverted. There are many many options for both kinds of kids there.

I have no skin in the VA public university game; we live in DC. But OP, is your DD considering schools in the UK/Europe? Our oldest child attends university overseas and I think your DD might like it, too.

This was me. I loved UVA. Never attended a frat party or football game my entire time there. Found my people.

U Mich

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like William & Mary could be a good fit for your quiet academic?

+1

Another who thinks W&M would be a better fit.

Not a fit we do not want her here - W&M mom

We pass to the Univ of Richmond

Definitely the University of Richmond. A girl that venomous would make a great Spider.