Yes and no. I have a professional degree, live in the city and do the volunteer work. I’m not interested in being most popular since people hate a lot but it’s fun to be semi in and whenever you want. Truth, it’s easier if you don’t have a real job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a biglaw attorney. I feel very frozen out of the SAHM/mommy track clique at my kids’ private. I don’t even think about it 95% of the time (I’m a younger mom and most of my friends are still childless so I have a busy social life) but I do feel the sting at school events.

FWIW, in my community, all the high earning women are the “popular” crowd and I am one of a handful of less than full time employed moms and we’re left out. Shrug.

Wait. Does this mean they just don’t like me?

Honestly I don’t like feeling left out. I am the last to ever know anything. When there are parent events I don’t have anyone to talk to, and sometimes when some mom does it’s in kind of a charity case way. So I guess it is somewhat important to me, but I’m definitely not “in.”

Some people probably see me and think I am in it, to the extent they think we have one in our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t say I aspired to it. I am friendly and talkative and try to be helpful.

To be invited to things consistently, you need to go when you’re invited - if you don’t show a lot when you’re invited, you get fewer invites. It’s hard work, haha. Hosting things yourself also helps.

Frankly I’ve been enjoying the quiet / no plans of quarantine. I needed a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a biglaw attorney. I feel very frozen out of the SAHM/mommy track clique at my kids’ private. I don’t even think about it 95% of the time (I’m a younger mom and most of my friends are still childless so I have a busy social life) but I do feel the sting at school events.

In my DD's school, this is not about SAHM vs WOHM. The "popular" kids moms almost all work full time.

Yep I noticed this too. They have. to. be. the. best. at. everything. They brag about never sleeping.

Interesting. Maybe I just assume they have mommy track jobs since they have time for the school drama?

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor is like this. She once described one of our other neighbors as “the IT mom” of the local Catholic school. She is desperate to be in on all that happens with the IT mom and any other person she deems socially important. Me and my husband call her the social climber. Her antics sure give us a lot to laugh about.

I read this as information technology mom and thought, what’s wrong with that? They probably need her help. But you mean “it” mom? Blech.

Anonymous wrote:I once heard one mom gush to another, “you’re the most popular mom in the school yearbook!”

LOL

Anonymous wrote:No. I am pretty social and like having friends at school and volunteer a lot, but I am very the more the merrier. We had a night out for the moms and invited everyone in the grade. I also actually like to do the behind the scenes work. So, I volunteer a lot. But not in high visibility roles. I am good at organizing and getting stuff done. But I hate being the center of attention, so I try to fly on the radar.

Under the radar

No. I am pretty social and like having friends at school and volunteer a lot, but I am very the more the merrier. We had a night out for the moms and invited everyone in the grade. I also actually like to do the behind the scenes work. So, I volunteer a lot. But not in high visibility roles. I am good at organizing and getting stuff done. But I hate being the center of attention, so I try to fly on the radar.

My neighbor is like this. She once described one of our other neighbors as “the IT mom” of the local Catholic school. She is desperate to be in on all that happens with the IT mom and any other person she deems socially important. Me and my husband call her the social climber. Her antics sure give us a lot to laugh about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a biglaw attorney. I feel very frozen out of the SAHM/mommy track clique at my kids’ private. I don’t even think about it 95% of the time (I’m a younger mom and most of my friends are still childless so I have a busy social life) but I do feel the sting at school events.

In my DD's school, this is not about SAHM vs WOHM. The "popular" kids moms almost all work full time.

Yep I noticed this too. They have. to. be. the. best. at. everything. They brag about never sleeping.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a biglaw attorney. I feel very frozen out of the SAHM/mommy track clique at my kids’ private. I don’t even think about it 95% of the time (I’m a younger mom and most of my friends are still childless so I have a busy social life) but I do feel the sting at school events.

FWIW, in my community, all the high earning women are the “popular” crowd and I am one of a handful of less than full time employed moms and we’re left out. Shrug.

No. It's even more important to me that I live in a neighborhood that doesn't have such a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by this!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/888270.page

Yeah, we know. It’s like rubbernecking a wreck on the highway, op.

There’s one mom chronically being left out of neighborhood events—even a car parade in her neighborhood. People are so petty that they won’t extend a silly invite to a car parade.

LOL. I think I’m that mom and I have zero desire to be included. It all looks so exhausting to me.

I don’t think this poor woman has social aspirations to be in the in-crowd, but the constant snubbing and even during a pandemic no less. She was probably at her breaking point.

Np: Her child isn’t close to the other children and she seems to make no effort to host the other women, so why should the others in invite her to everything? I feel for the OP of that thread - she has been put in an awful position by that woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I couldn’t even identify this group of moms at my child’s school. Sounds like something that might happen in the suburbs?

Oh FFS. Like drama doesn’t happen in cities

Oh yeah this 100% happens in my neighborhood in NW DC.

We lived in Manhattan when my daughter was in K and 1st — public ES, Upper West Side — and oh.my.god. The mom cliques. I’ve never seen anything like it; sometimes I wonder if it was all just a fever dream?!

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I do wish i had some mom friends, popular or not. All my friends are from work or grad school. I have not been able to make any mom friends at all.

Oh that's hard. I mean that sincerely. I don't care to be the popular mom but having a couple mom friends with kids in the same class etc is nice.