Like one PP said, start photocopying everything - bank statements, tax returns,retirement accounts, any asset or debt you can think of. VA is a 50/50 state of assets and debts accumulated while married.

Even with a lot of assets, don't use the lawyer as a therapist. They bill for everything. Get yourself into individual counseling for your own sanity. Think of what you can for your separation and divorce agreement (you'll have to be separated 1 yr to file for divorce). Things like visitation on holidays, bdays, special occasions. Extra curricular activities expenses, college (far away but won't need to modify later on), copay, first right if refusal (if X has kids but can't watch them, you get first dibs to watch not who he chooses). I have in mine no members of the opposite sex that is not family can spend the night when the kids are present. Tax return dependent deductions, vacation schedules. If you gave divorced friends, get info from them.

I've been there with 2 really young kids and the shock is overwhelming. You'll go through the stages of grief. It's normal. Most cheaters have the same MO/ he probably made you feel like you were crazy or jealous. It's typical. Most are narssistic living in a fantasy world. If he's still with the OW, don't fret because when real life sets in on them, the thrill and excitement of their "secret" will fade away and they'll be just another boring couple until you STBX cheats again :0

Best of luck. Things will get better over time.

Anonymous wrote:Deny him the last piece of pie? lol wtf

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/379089.page

Deny him the last piece of pie? lol wtf

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, make sure that DH gets is share of your $$$. Who says you are attractive? That is a pretty subjective statement. Every woman on this forum thinks she is attractive. However, if you are like my ex, you might be physically attractive outwardly, but inside a toxic mess that spreads unhappiness to everyone. We are only hearing your side of the story, not your DH's.

Whoa. back off, angry woman-hater. Not every woman is your ex-wife. Stop spewing your bile all over a total stranger.

I dunno, guys come on here saying they've been hit by their wives, and folks wonder what they did to let their poor sainted wives to go over the edge like that.

Because: a) no man puts up with being hit by a woman unless he's a pussy; and b) men are more prone to be violent than women. It is in their nature and part of their need to control everything.

Anonymous wrote:Start meeting with lawyers ASAP so your husband can't hire them. Take some time off work (a few days at least) and don't tell your husband or kids. See lawyers and go through papers in the home office and start making lists of everything and photocopying everything before things disappear.

I don't think it's quite that easy to conflict a lawyer out of working for your DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, make sure that DH gets is share of your $$$. Who says you are attractive? That is a pretty subjective statement. Every woman on this forum thinks she is attractive. However, if you are like my ex, you might be physically attractive outwardly, but inside a toxic mess that spreads unhappiness to everyone. We are only hearing your side of the story, not your DH's.

Whoa. back off, angry woman-hater. Not every woman is your ex-wife. Stop spewing your bile all over a total stranger.

I dunno, guys come on here saying they've been hit by their wives, and folks wonder what they did to let their poor sainted wives to go over the edge like that.

Anonymous wrote:Well, make sure that DH gets is share of your $$$. Who says you are attractive? That is a pretty subjective statement. Every woman on this forum thinks she is attractive. However, if you are like my ex, you might be physically attractive outwardly, but inside a toxic mess that spreads unhappiness to everyone. We are only hearing your side of the story, not your DH's.

Whoa. back off, angry woman-hater. Not every woman is your ex-wife. Stop spewing your bile all over a total stranger.

Well, make sure that DH gets is share of your $$$. Who says you are attractive? That is a pretty subjective statement. Every woman on this forum thinks she is attractive. However, if you are like my ex, you might be physically attractive outwardly, but inside a toxic mess that spreads unhappiness to everyone. We are only hearing your side of the story, not your DH's.

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that your DH sought solace in the arms of another woman? Were you meeting his emotional and sexual needs as a good wife does? Or were you putting him down, seeing him more for his wallet than as a man, giving him a "honey-do" list every time he came home from work, bitching about wanting a new car or sofa? Did you deny him the last piece of pie? Or were you grateful for the hard work he was putting in to put a roof over your head and the heads of your little ones, the food on your table and did you show it? Gratitude and respect - and the occasional blowjob - go a long way in making a hubby happy! You should try it sometime.

Nope. Nice try. I work- make my own $. I am extremely attractive and very athletic. I cook, take care of kids, needs, give him space to workout, etc. He can from a dad who was an alcoholic and serial philander--the head games recently started. I'm not the one that checked out.

Anonymous wrote:No, I was the one cheated on and this was what I was told by the cheater! I didn't meet "her" needs so therefore it was my fault she was f**king another man!

Well, then you know it is bullshit. So why repeat it to someone else?

No, I was the one cheated on and this was what I was told by the cheater! I didn't meet "her" needs so therefore it was my fault she was f**king another man!

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that your DH sought solace in the arms of another woman? Were you meeting his emotional and sexual needs as a good wife does? Or were you putting him down, seeing him more for his wallet than as a man, giving him a "honey-do" list every time he came home from work, bitching about wanting a new car or sofa? Did you deny him the last piece of pie? Or were you grateful for the hard work he was putting in to put a roof over your head and the heads of your little ones, the food on your table and did you show it? Gratitude and respect - and the occasional blowjob - go a long way in making a hubby happy! You should try it sometime.

You are not only completely ignorant as to the causes of infidelity, but a complete and utter asshole as well.

I would bet that you are a cheater trying to rationalize his own character and moral failings.

OP, what did you do that your DH sought solace in the arms of another woman? Were you meeting his emotional and sexual needs as a good wife does? Or were you putting him down, seeing him more for his wallet than as a man, giving him a "honey-do" list every time he came home from work, bitching about wanting a new car or sofa? Did you deny him the last piece of pie? Or were you grateful for the hard work he was putting in to put a roof over your head and the heads of your little ones, the food on your table and did you show it? Gratitude and respect - and the occasional blowjob - go a long way in making a hubby happy! You should try it sometime.

Anonymous wrote:"assets pics please"

Wrong forum.

"assets pics please"