Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the input. She’s leaning Swarthmore. She did not like New Haven and the large intro classes. She felt like the Swarthmore students were more “like” her. I suspect she’ll choose there. I think she wants me to decide for her which I will NOT do. I tell her she must own her decision but there is no right or wrong one. She likes to work and she is not a big party person. We didn’t love the construction at Swarthmore but most of the campus is breathtaking.

Sounds like she is a great fit for Swat, but she will also find her people at Yale. Certainly plenty of hard-working kids who aren't party-oriented. I would say Swat is more intense though, just attracts that kind of kid. Does that feel right to her?

Agree Swat is intense but Yale is more competitive, if that makes sense. Is she the kind of kid who will be lost at a bigger school, and not show initiative in terms of finding internships, making connections with professors etc.? Or do you feel confident she'll find her way. If the latter, I'd lean Yale. If the former, Swat. SLACs really do offer a superior UG education, and your kid can take classes at Penn if wants to expand her options as she matures.

I do not feel confident she’ll find her way. She’s an anxious, socially immature kid with a gifted IQ and a high level of distractability. Personally, I think she would do better at Swarthmore. But to turn down her reachiest of reaches? Ugh, I almost wish she hadn’t been accepted! Lol.

My DD fits this description too and is thriving socially at Pomona (west coast version of Swat-they have an exchange program). Has made a lot of nice friends and will live in a suite next year with them. Lots of attention from professors and mentoring by older students which is really helpful and lessens her inherent anxiety. Save Ivy League for grad school and go to the lesser name for this intimate experience.

Sounds like my DD. She needs a smaller environment. Yale is uber competitive no matter what PP says.

+1 Yale is not the place to send an anxious and distractible kid. These are the kinds of kids who can end up miserable and fall through the cracks. She'll thrive in a smaller, more collaborative environment then the world will be her oyster for grad school.

Isn’t Swat known for being uber competitive?

Anonymous wrote:If she goes to Yale she may end up marrying a football player with a 19 ACT.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1270733.page

Pick Swarthmore.

only 39% of kids at Swat even submitted an SAT

Anonymous wrote:swat has athletes too! and yep, they got the lowest test scores

Not true! My Swat athlete was smart and has now graduated from med school. He chose Swarthmore over Bowdoin and Williams.

Anonymous wrote:Auto correct: "know" should be "no one".

Auto correct is the least of your problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is torn in deciding. She likes the beautiful, smaller campus of Swarthmore and the arts programs but she doesn’t know if that’s enough reason to turn down the name of Yale. Majoring in music and math. I would say a touch immature for her age where a smaller feel might be the difference between surviving and thriving. Don’t know how to advise her!

Thoughts?

If she selects Swarthmore, be sure to purchase a Yale hoodie to prove that she got in as know one is likely to believe her otherwise.

Quite a few kids turn down Yale for other Ivies and top SLACs. Yale has lost some of its academic prestige. It's basically Brown now with a larger endowment and a worse location.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is torn in deciding. She likes the beautiful, smaller campus of Swarthmore and the arts programs but she doesn’t know if that’s enough reason to turn down the name of Yale. Majoring in music and math. I would say a touch immature for her age where a smaller feel might be the difference between surviving and thriving. Don’t know how to advise her!

Thoughts?

If she selects Swarthmore, be sure to purchase a Yale hoodie to prove that she got in as know one is likely to believe her otherwise.

Huh?

Auto correct: "know" should be "no one".

Anonymous wrote:DD is torn in deciding. She likes the beautiful, smaller campus of Swarthmore and the arts programs but she doesn’t know if that’s enough reason to turn down the name of Yale. Majoring in music and math. I would say a touch immature for her age where a smaller feel might be the difference between surviving and thriving. Don’t know how to advise her!

Thoughts?

If she selects Swarthmore, be sure to purchase a Yale hoodie to prove that she got in as know one is likely to believe her otherwise.

swat has athletes too! and yep, they got the lowest test scores

Anonymous wrote:If she goes to Yale she may end up marrying a football player with a 19 ACT.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1270733.page

Pick Swarthmore.

Might be better off. Two super smart parents inevitably means regression to the mean. A lot of anxiety on this board would be mitigated if more “smart” parents understood this.

Her and football dude’s progeny will be the same intellect as if she were to marry a stereotypically smart Swattie; better to spawn a relatively smart athlete.

The main thing your daughter has to decide about is really scale: Swarthmore is very small--more toward 1500 than even 2000--and Yale is mid-sized with the more intimate residential college communities. Intro classes at Yale will be large and it will be easy to get lost in the cracks but it's also easy to thrive and find your communities. I wen there as an insecure 17-year-old and loved it, even if I wasn't top of the pack. (And even had seminar dinners at world-famous professors' homes.) I also taught at Swarthmore and was duly impressed by the students. But it's very econ/CS-heavy these days, which in such a small communiity can be felt. She really needs to think hard, visit if possible, get a sense of where she thinks she'd better thrive academically and above all individually, and then pull the trigger with a very tough decision.

swat is a more intense environment, if that matters. it's more like a mini Princeton than a mini yale.

If she goes to Yale she may end up marrying a football player with a 19 ACT.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1270733.page

Pick Swarthmore.

Your daughter's reasons for leaning towards Swat are valid. The math department at Swat is great, very supportive with a focus on grads being over prepared if they choose to persue a Math PhD.

Every top LAC will have students who turned down an Ivy to attend that LAC or a student who turned down Oxford or a higher ranked LAC. Trust that your daughter knows herself and you raised her to be able to make a good choice.

With all of that said, the one thing that gives me pause is she wants to double major in music. Yale is exceptional in music and will provide her opportunities few schools can. I second her returning for another visit and would suggest spending time with a prof she might study under in the music department.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the input. She’s leaning Swarthmore. She did not like New Haven and the large intro classes. She felt like the Swarthmore students were more “like” her. I suspect she’ll choose there. I think she wants me to decide for her which I will NOT do. I tell her she must own her decision but there is no right or wrong one. She likes to work and she is not a big party person. We didn’t love the construction at Swarthmore but most of the campus is breathtaking.

Sounds like she is a great fit for Swat, but she will also find her people at Yale. Certainly plenty of hard-working kids who aren't party-oriented. I would say Swat is more intense though, just attracts that kind of kid. Does that feel right to her?

Agree Swat is intense but Yale is more competitive, if that makes sense. Is she the kind of kid who will be lost at a bigger school, and not show initiative in terms of finding internships, making connections with professors etc.? Or do you feel confident she'll find her way. If the latter, I'd lean Yale. If the former, Swat. SLACs really do offer a superior UG education, and your kid can take classes at Penn if wants to expand her options as she matures.

I do not feel confident she’ll find her way. She’s an anxious, socially immature kid with a gifted IQ and a high level of distractability. Personally, I think she would do better at Swarthmore. But to turn down her reachiest of reaches? Ugh, I almost wish she hadn’t been accepted! Lol.

My DD fits this description too and is thriving socially at Pomona (west coast version of Swat-they have an exchange program). Has made a lot of nice friends and will live in a suite next year with them. Lots of attention from professors and mentoring by older students which is really helpful and lessens her inherent anxiety. Save Ivy League for grad school and go to the lesser name for this intimate experience.

Sounds like my DD. She needs a smaller environment. Yale is uber competitive no matter what PP says.

+1 Yale is not the place to send an anxious and distractible kid. These are the kinds of kids who can end up miserable and fall through the cracks. She'll thrive in a smaller, more collaborative environment then the world will be her oyster for grad school.

+1. I went to Yale and enjoyed it, and I was a quiet introvert, but not at all distractible. But I never felt like my professors knew or cared about me as a person outside of a couple of small advanced language classes. The best of my four years there was the year I studied abroad on a language scholarship, at a small school where I was personally known. I definitely had imposter syndrome despite having been valedictorian at my intense high school, yadda yadda. Everyone who stood out at Yale seemed to have some kind of incredible talent and I was just a bright kid with great study habits. I remember visiting a friend at a small liberal arts college and being astonished that her professors actually knew her name and - according to her - called her when she missed class a couple times in a row. That would never, ever have happened for me at Yale. I sometimes think, if I ever went into politics or something and reporters asked old classmates or professors if they remembered me, they wouldn't remember me at all.

Nevertheless I liked my time there and never really considered any other school. I only looked at Ivies and a couple of small liberal arts colleges that I felt were too small for me and didn't have the religious community I wanted; and of all the Ivies, only Yale really called to me. And I had a thirst to prove myself by going to a big-name school. But if your daughter feels that call and connection with another school, especially a great school like Swarthmore, that may be worth heeding. Not much point going to Yale if she will not make it through, or will spend the whole time wishing she'd gone to Swarthmore. The only thing she might regret about passing up Yale is the name. That's probably not a great reason to go, if she otherwise prefers another school.