Anonymous wrote:I think you’re crazy to consider this because there are numerous problems with men being over 40 let alone your age. It drastically increases the risk of autism and schizophrenia.

I’m a 46-year-old woman and would never consider having another kid. Think about how that would impact the children you already have as well. Just no.

She’s only 34; she can find a man for under 40.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

I'm a woman, and heartily agree with this guy. Most posters on DCUM seem to be reflexively against men who want a second family after divorce. They seem to believe the children of the first marriage will be automatically traumatized (well with that attitude, yes!). But they also sneer at women who get married early and have kids young (as in, a biologically healthy age). Basically on DCUM you're doing it wrong if you're not advancing your education and career in your 20s, getting married in your 30s, enjoying a few years of childfree life together, then having kids at 35 exactly, and stop having kids at 40 exactly. After which you need to shut down the baby factory by law. And the man cannot be more than 5 years older than the woman, and they need to have reasonably similar backgrounds and income otherwise they're doomed.

Garbage. I and so many other people are living proof that you can do things differently and be successful and happy.

OP, beyond assessing your health, consider your finances and that of your ex and potential fiancee. Money is the most important predictor of happiness when you have dependents, because a lot of the stressors can be outsourced. If you lead a healthy life, don't have a genetic sword of Damocles hanging over your head from your parents, and are lucky enough to be financially stable... then why wouldn't you have a second family if you want one?

You only have one life. Make the most of it.

Typical selfish American. Not thinking of the current and would-be kids. It’s all only about your happiness.

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

also discouraging because at our age it's already difficult to find a lifelong partner...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

Look at that. Women like vulnerable men who share what they are thinking and feeling. Exactly like they say they do. Who knew?

I’m skeptical that that guy’s profile contained all the same train-wreck ideas he posted here.

Anonymous wrote:This is so classic .... Why women never make that mistake? Brother don't do it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

I'm a woman, and heartily agree with this guy. Most posters on DCUM seem to be reflexively against men who want a second family after divorce. They seem to believe the children of the first marriage will be automatically traumatized (well with that attitude, yes!). But they also sneer at women who get married early and have kids young (as in, a biologically healthy age). Basically on DCUM you're doing it wrong if you're not advancing your education and career in your 20s, getting married in your 30s, enjoying a few years of childfree life together, then having kids at 35 exactly, and stop having kids at 40 exactly. After which you need to shut down the baby factory by law. And the man cannot be more than 5 years older than the woman, and they need to have reasonably similar backgrounds and income otherwise they're doomed.

Garbage. I and so many other people are living proof that you can do things differently and be successful and happy.

OP, beyond assessing your health, consider your finances and that of your ex and potential fiancee. Money is the most important predictor of happiness when you have dependents, because a lot of the stressors can be outsourced. If you lead a healthy life, don't have a genetic sword of Damocles hanging over your head from your parents, and are lucky enough to be financially stable... then why wouldn't you have a second family if you want one?

You only have one life. Make the most of it.

Typical selfish American. Not thinking of the current and would-be kids. It’s all only about your happiness.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:You would be 70 when they graduate college.

Your kids will feel replaced.

Baby would be at higher risk for genetic problems (make sure to see a good genetic counselor. This is a serious issue. My friend has many difficulties, unlike his much older siblings, because his parents accidentally had him when they were older).

Anonymous wrote:You would be 70 when they graduate college.

Your kids will feel replaced.

Baby would be at higher risk for genetic problems (make sure to see a good genetic counselor. This is a serious issue. My friend has many difficulties, unlike his much older siblings, because his parents accidentally had him when they were older).

Anonymous wrote:OP here...I have wrestled with the same questions you guys are raising. This is also discouraging because at our age it's already difficult to find a lifelong partner...