Anonymous wrote:I am 27 and he is 26. In many ways he is my dream man! Handsome, sweet, well-read, worldly and smart. So kind and adores me!

I want to get married and have children. It is the only real goal I have for myself. And I worry as I realize that having that family lifestyle in Nova requires a certain income. I do not come from money and work at a non profit as a program assistant. My BF makes only a little more than me as a research analyst even though he has a masters from SAIS.

I guess it’s occurring to me that neither of us in on the path to make a lot of money and then…how will we get married, buy a house and have children?


It makes me worry. I love him SO much and I don’t want to act like a gold digger by breaking up with him because I don’t think he’ll ever be able to afford a family… what do I do?

Anonymous wrote:I am 27 and he is 26. In many ways he is my dream man! Handsome, sweet, well-read, worldly and smart. So kind and adores me!

I want to get married and have children. It is the only real goal I have for myself. And I worry as I realize that having that family lifestyle in Nova requires a certain income. I do not come from money and work at a non profit as a program assistant. My BF makes only a little more than me as a research analyst even though he has a masters from SAIS.

I guess it’s occurring to me that neither of us in on the path to make a lot of money and then…how will we get married, buy a house and have children?


It makes me worry. I love him SO much and I don’t want to act like a gold digger by breaking up with him because I don’t think he’ll ever be able to afford a family… what do I do?

Anonymous wrote:If the two of you talk marriage and decide you want to be married to each other, get married -- do it.

The other details of life (where to live, where in the country to live) will take second place, as they should.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you dont sound like much of a catch. Thats not going to bode well for you if you dump your bf - who already makes more than you.

Not OP, but lol -- you don't know that.

How so?
OP doesnt mention a degree for her, but does her bf. So likely no degree. Making less than $70k. Not very loyal as she's willing to drop this guy based on his wallet. Hasn't already landed a whale, and is approaching 30.
Yeah, total catch

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 27 and he is 26. In many ways he is my dream man! Handsome, sweet, well-read, worldly and smart. So kind and adores me!

I want to get married and have children. It is the only real goal I have for myself. And I worry as I realize that having that family lifestyle in Nova requires a certain income. I do not come from money and work at a non profit as a program assistant. My BF makes only a little more than me as a research analyst even though he has a masters from SAIS.

I guess it’s occurring to me that neither of us in on the path to make a lot of money and then…how will we get married, buy a house and have children?


It makes me worry. I love him SO much and I don’t want to act like a gold digger by breaking up with him because I don’t think he’ll ever be able to afford a family… what do I do?

You should get a job that pays more now while you are young and can invest it and have time to learn new skills. It’s easy to transfer skills from business to nonprofit, not so easy the other way around if you ever need to later in life.

Also, I don’t recommend fully leaving the workplace for a long period of time - even though childcare costs similar to a low professional salary, think of it as costing you experience and learning which would translate to much higher pay decades later. This is what my XH convinced me of at the time and now I see that it wasn’t a nanny’s pay vs mine, it was the fact that my salary would likely grow in that decade to eventually be much higher but instead I stopped, and when I got back into work I was starting at bottom again.

I wish I could tell younger me these things. I’m doing ok now and love my kids. I also got divorced.

Signed, 41 yo divorced mom of 4 who was working at a nonprofit in her 20s

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Program assistant" = secretary.

Your BF's future seems fine with his education. You're the one who needs to pull up.

What’s wrong with being an assistant or secretary?

Nothing, so long as you don’t mind being poor in one of the highest COL regions in the country, and possibly bringing kids into a childhood of poverty.

Anonymous wrote:Can you move to a lower cost of living area?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Program assistant" = secretary.

Your BF's future seems fine with his education. You're the one who needs to pull up.

What’s wrong with being an assistant or secretary?

Anonymous wrote:"Program assistant" = secretary.

Your BF's future seems fine with his education. You're the one who needs to pull up.

Anonymous wrote:I am 27 and he is 26. In many ways he is my dream man! Handsome, sweet, well-read, worldly and smart. So kind and adores me!

I want to get married and have children. It is the only real goal I have for myself. And I worry as I realize that having that family lifestyle in Nova requires a certain income. I do not come from money and work at a non profit as a program assistant. My BF makes only a little more than me as a research analyst even though he has a masters from SAIS.

I guess it’s occurring to me that neither of us in on the path to make a lot of money and then…how will we get married, buy a house and have children?


It makes me worry. I love him SO much and I don’t want to act like a gold digger by breaking up with him because I don’t think he’ll ever be able to afford a family… what do I do?