Anonymous wrote:I am desperately in love with my amazing fiancé. He's everything I want in a guy except that he comes from blue collar roots. He went to college and graduate school and has school loans and makes 90k at 29. He says his salary will increase as he moves up the ladder but I get apprehensive at the prospect of our future.I myself come from humble beginnings and know full well how tough life is without financial resources so i always aimed at marrying a man with means. I don't want to live life paycheck to paycheck and live small.

What are the odds it'll work out and we'lol have a good life?

My amazing DH makes just over $100k at 50. He has a PhD but chose a decade ago to teach public HS STEM courses. We are very happy together and I'd rather retire on a very limited income and leave "nothing" but happy memories to our kids and grandkids when we die.

Anonymous wrote:Marry the man who already has it together. You'll save yourself the hassle. Marrying potential can come back to bite you in the butt. If you won't be happy with a 90k man then don't marry a 90k man. I am talking from experience.

Do not let anyone shame you because you don't want to live a boring, mediocre life. Men aren't worth the hassle unless they have money and it's smart that you've realized this before you tied yourself down to Mr. Mediocre.

This right here is why men with money should never marry.

Anonymous wrote:People need to stop dumping on OP as if security is not something to consider when marrying.

Most people doing the dumping are admittedly married to men who make more and provide a comfortable life.

So how are any of you better than OP? Because she articulated what some of you thought but would never utter aloud.

Nearly all of you would advise their own daughters to marry someone who can provide. Marry a person sounds cute but we all know that money problems are the #1 cause of divorce.

Get off your high horses and get a grip.

The reason people are dumping is because 90K at 29 IS a decent salary and if OP was striving to earn the same they would be making 180K combined for two people. If you make moves so you double your income by combining them but you do things so you don't double expenses (like staying in his or your 1 bedroom that the person was paying the rent/mortgage alone, maybe going down to one car if possible, taking advantage on cell phone plans and some of the insurances like renters insurance to consolidate- you end up doing better together financially than alone. You take that "savings" and bank more and invest more and this is how you build wealth together.

I do hope my daughters marry someone that is can support themselves and has go-getter attitude with work ethic. So someone living in mom's basement at 29 or can't scrape up enough to rent an apartment without moving in with my daughter - I would be concerned they would have money problems because honestly they are already coming in with them. I also would expect my daughter's aren't living in our basement at that age or unable to make enough to rent an apartment at 29 (absent some extraordinary situation like a health reason) so I am not expecting anything of a future partner for my kids that I don't expect from my kids themselves. Most of the PP didn't meet someone with money but are comfortable now and the woman contributed to that wealth.

Anonymous wrote:I am desperately in love with my amazing fiancé. He's everything I want in a guy except that he comes from blue collar roots. He went to college and graduate school and has school loans and makes 90k at 29. He says his salary will increase as he moves up the ladder but I get apprehensive at the prospect of our future.I myself come from humble beginnings and know full well how tough life is without financial resources so i always aimed at marrying a man with means. I don't want to live life paycheck to paycheck and live small.

What are the odds it'll work out and we'lol have a good life?

I understand your fears, OP.

But if he is a great guy and you love him and he makes 90k at 29, you really have a TERRIFIC situation and you should stop ruining your own life by worrying about this.

Anonymous wrote:I am desperately in love with my amazing fiancé. He's everything I want in a guy except that he comes from blue collar roots. He went to college and graduate school and has school loans and makes 90k at 29. He says his salary will increase as he moves up the ladder but I get apprehensive at the prospect of our future.I myself come from humble beginnings and know full well how tough life is without financial resources so i always aimed at marrying a man with means. I don't want to live life paycheck to paycheck and live small.

What are the odds it'll work out and we'lol have a good life?

Blue collar roots, college and graduate school and makes $90,000 at 29? What's not to like? He will do very well if he has a spouse who is very supportive and not always questioning his potential. You need to carry your weight as well.

Anonymous wrote:OP do you really not have anything better do with your time?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/640813.page

I noticed that too. OP, I think you should see a doctor about your obsessive thought patterns. I know somebody with OCD and you sound like her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? Since when is making $90k at 29 poor?

My husband made about that at 29, and we are plenty comfortable at 35 now. But I make the same salary that he does, unlike you.

I would shoot myself in the face if I only made 90K. I can't even see how people get by on that. I make 300ish and it's still not enough

I know! The yacht payments and a new BMW lease every year: how do people make ends meet?

He seems like a loser. Dump him.

Anonymous wrote:People need to stop dumping on OP as if security is not something to consider when marrying.

Most people doing the dumping are admittedly married to men who make more and provide a comfortable life.

So how are any of you better than OP? Because she articulated what some of you thought but would never utter aloud.

Nearly all of you would advise their own daughters to marry someone who can provide. Marry a person sounds cute but we all know that money problems are the #1 cause of divorce.

Get off your high horses and get a grip.

OP isn't asking about financial security. She isn't questioning whether he's financially responsible/savvy or hard working. For all we know, he's all of those things. Maybe 90k at age 29 is great for his field. And he's made smart financial choices so far.

She's asking whether his income is high enough to provide her with a certain lifestyle. Whatever lifestyle she wants to live, it's her responsibility to provide for herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? Since when is making $90k at 29 poor?

My husband made about that at 29, and we are plenty comfortable at 35 now. But I make the same salary that he does, unlike you.

I would shoot myself in the face if I only made 90K. I can't even see how people get by on that. I make 300ish and it's still not enough

How old are you?

Anonymous wrote:What? Since when is making $90k at 29 poor?

My husband made about that at 29, and we are plenty comfortable at 35 now. But I make the same salary that he does, unlike you.

I would shoot myself in the face if I only made 90K. I can't even see how people get by on that. I make 300ish and it's still not enough

HHI Is $150k and you're under 30 and complaining? Is this a millennial disease?

OP do you really not have anything better do with your time?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/640813.page

My husband is 54 and until recently he made close to that.
He also invested wisely in the stock market which allowed us to buy in a great school district and raise two kids. I stay home.

When we met, he made less than 60K and he was older than your fiance.

It's not all about the paycheck, OP. You're a little bit disgusting, I have to say.

OP you have posted numerous times about this. Leave him because you suck.