Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First to RSVP gets the guest room. Single non parents don't always want to be relegated to the couch.

Agreed. If I was the first to RSVP and then found out I was demoted to the couch because my sibling who had more kids finally decided to join, I would leave.

Really? I can't imagine anyone in my family acting like this. We would all give up the guest room to the group that needed it most.

FWIW, none of us have a guestroom. We tend to use the living rooms and family rooms. We put out blow up mattresses and sleeping bags and we push furniture together. Then we congregate in the kitchen and deck so guests can keep their stuff out instead of having to clean it up. I would so much rather be inconvenienced than not see my family.

Anonymous wrote:This depends on family dynamics but in my family, Sibling C (with family) gets the room and Sibling B gets the couch. That way, Sibling C can put kiddo to bed and family can continue to spend time together whereas if they were staying in a hotel, they'd need to leave. Also, it just is what it is - family with most pressing needs gets better set up. When Sibling B has kids and Sibling C's kids are older, Sibling B gets the room, Sibling C stays in a hotel (because the older kids can stay at the family gathering longer/crash on a couch till it's time to go/etc.).

+1. this is really a no brainer. both my DH and I have two siblings. we were the first to have kids in my family, my DH was the last to have kids in his, so we have been on both sides of the situation, the ones with no kids and the ones with kids where other sibs did not have them. I think at the core is that we all love each other and love to see each other, we are all happy to sleep on the floor or wherever to stay together. keeping kids on the couch is stupid because the entire family is affected, especially if they are little, because they have their routine and usually go to sleep at 8 or 9pm. kids sleep on the couch, then the entire family cannot sit on the couch and chat. a hotel can be a solution, however flying with two or three kids is not exactly cheap, being able to save on one or two hotel rooms is nice. also, I do not agree with other posters that the first who responds gets the best spot, it does not make sense (if you have a queen size bed in the guest room and a small futon, the family of 4 sleep on the futon while the single sib gets the room and the queen size bed just because he responded first?). obviously, if people think in terms of "being demoted" to the couch or stuff like that, the outcome of the vacation does not look good.

Anonymous wrote:First to RSVP gets the guest room. Single non parents don't always want to be relegated to the couch.

Agreed. If I was the first to RSVP and then found out I was demoted to the couch because my sibling who had more kids finally decided to join, I would leave.

Anonymous wrote:This is the entire reason we don't like to visit my inlaws. They won't tell you where you are sleeping until you get there, nor will they tell you who else is coming. Last time we told them we were not coming unless our family (of 4) was guaranteed the guest room. They said yes, we drove 7 hours only to find they had given the guest room to some friends of theirs. They seemed utterly baffled as to why we were annoyed.

You guys are dolts! Why do you play their little game? IF you can afford a hotel, book it and stay there. If you can't, then DON'T GO since you don't have accommodations.

Why did you invite more people than you have space for?

As the single sibling, if I knew you invited everyone and that I was going to end up on the couch in the living room, I would just arrange to come at a different time.

Did sibling B know that Sibling C and family were coming?

If I was sibling B I would just cancel and plan another visit.

Anonymous wrote:First to RSVP gets the guest room. Single non parents don't always want to be relegated to the couch.

+1

Families should stay in a hotel anyway. My DH prefers to stay in a hotel so he has privacy at night. He likes to walk around in his undies. Nothing shows, but he wouldn't be comfortable doing that in front of my mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the age of the kids, they are more sensitive to changes in the sleep routine. My 3 year old is used to sleeping on a bed. I have no idea how he would fare on a couch or the floor.

O
M
G
AND sticking on a couch is killing him....?
Some of you are killing me with that kind of nonsense.

Do you have children?? If he refuses to sleep on the couch and just gets more wound up, that affects everyone else in the house.

Then he sleeps in the bed with you. If that's too crowded then one of the parents takes the couch/floor.

This depends on family dynamics but in my family, Sibling C (with family) gets the room and Sibling B gets the couch. That way, Sibling C can put kiddo to bed and family can continue to spend time together whereas if they were staying in a hotel, they'd need to leave. Also, it just is what it is - family with most pressing needs gets better set up. When Sibling B has kids and Sibling C's kids are older, Sibling B gets the room, Sibling C stays in a hotel (because the older kids can stay at the family gathering longer/crash on a couch till it's time to go/etc.).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the age of the kids, they are more sensitive to changes in the sleep routine. My 3 year old is used to sleeping on a bed. I have no idea how he would fare on a couch or the floor.

O
M
G
AND sticking on a couch is killing him....?
Some of you are killing me with that kind of nonsense.

Do you have children?? If he refuses to sleep on the couch and just gets more wound up, that affects everyone else in the house.

Anonymous wrote:Depending on the age of the kids, they are more sensitive to changes in the sleep routine. My 3 year old is used to sleeping on a bed. I have no idea how he would fare on a couch or the floor.

O
M
G
AND sticking on a couch is killing him....?
Some of you are killing me with that kind of nonsense.

Depending on the age of the kids, they are more sensitive to changes in the sleep routine. My 3 year old is used to sleeping on a bed. I have no idea how he would fare on a couch or the floor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think both have resources to stay in a hotel, but married sibling has a bit more.

It's a tough situation. Sib B (single) has voluntarily taken the couch other times, and the last time we were all together so I think trading off is fair. She also made her travel plans first.

Sib C obviously needs more space. I feel like Sib C's spouse (SIL) may hold it against Sib B, she's a decent person but tends to hold grudges in weird ways, like she might not want Sib B to spend as much time with their child. She's a tricky one to get a feel for.

I don't bow to that mess, your immaturity is your issue to deal with.

I was referring to the immaturity of people like your SIL

+1000 The SIL has a lot of nerve to hold grudges like that and gets away with it because you all cave in to that nonsense.

I would put sibling B before self-centered SIL in a heartbeat since your sister reserved her spot first.

Anonymous wrote:I really want an update to this thread from last year

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/60/316143.page

+1 I remember that one, too.

I really want an update to this thread from last year

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/60/316143.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think both have resources to stay in a hotel, but married sibling has a bit more.

It's a tough situation. Sib B (single) has voluntarily taken the couch other times, and the last time we were all together so I think trading off is fair. She also made her travel plans first.

Sib C obviously needs more space. I feel like Sib C's spouse (SIL) may hold it against Sib B, she's a decent person but tends to hold grudges in weird ways, like she might not want Sib B to spend as much time with their child. She's a tricky one to get a feel for.

I'm the single sibling and my bil is like this. He expects his kids to get their own beds while I have to sleep on the couch. If my parents don't agree beforehand, he refuses to come. So a family of five gets three bedrooms and I'm supposed to get the couch. I think I should get one bedroom and they should get two. But my parents want to see the grand kids so they give in.

Your BIL is an ass and your parents need to man up!