Allotting rooms at beach house - should aunt have to share room with four year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Nope, it's an extended family member's house (who will not be on trip).

And is agree, I would never take this out on my niece.

Not that you owe us any details, but I would love to know how your sister developed such a sense of "her needs/wants = how it should be." I'd also be curious if she's used to running a household with a large amount of assistance? Hope all works out, so everyone can have a great family time with lots of wonderful memories and no hard feelings!

[Anonymous]

Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

*that would be slumber party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

Wait, so the sister has to enjoy her vacation without taking care of the kids she decided to have?

They're her kids. She needs to step up.

[Anonymous]

No compromise. The sister has 2 rooms for 4 people in a beach house that she's getting rent-free. She and her husband can figure out the sleeping arrangements for her 2 kids WITHOUT needing the aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

I'm sorry, but I don't see a compromise. A compromise is when both sides want something that has merit and they meet in the middle. The sister's want has no merit. I get that she wants to have a "real" vacation and not deal with kids who aren't sleeping, be able to have sex and sleep in. However, she has kids.

OP and her parents might offer that one morning they make breakfast for the kids and let the parents sleep in. That would be a kind and familial gesture and only if they want to, they certainly have no obligation to do so. After all, it's their vacation too. To ask, demand or expect any more of OP is really ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

I'm sorry, but I don't see a compromise. A compromise is when both sides want something that has merit and they meet in the middle. The sister's want has no merit. I get that she wants to have a "real" vacation and not deal with kids who aren't sleeping, be able to have sex and sleep in. However, she has kids.

OP and her parents might offer that one morning they make breakfast for the kids and let the parents sleep in. That would be a kind and familial gesture and only if they want to, they certainly have no obligation to do so. After all, it's their vacation too. To ask, demand or expect any more of OP is really ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is room for compromise?

It is not right if your sister to expect you to bunk with her kid. However, it reasonable for your sister to be able to enjoy her vacation as well. If the kids sharing a room isn't possible (which I think makes the most sense) then maybe you can offer one night, your parents another night or something like that? Or maybe have a cousins slbe party?

I'm sorry, but I don't see a compromise. A compromise is when both sides want something that has merit and they meet in the middle. The sister's want has no merit. I get that she wants to have a "real" vacation and not deal with kids who aren't sleeping, be able to have sex and sleep in. However, she has kids.

OP and her parents might offer that one morning they make breakfast for the kids and let the parents sleep in. That would be a kind and familial gesture and only if they want to, they certainly have no obligation to do so. After all, it's their vacation too. To ask, demand or expect any more of OP is really ridiculous.

+100. Well said.

[Anonymous]

My kids couldn't sleep with each other at an early age either. I would never make my single sibling share, us parents would split up. She's nuts

[Anonymous]

Nothing to add. I just can't wait to see how this plays out. OP, please please please update us!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to add. I just can't wait to see how this plays out. OP, please please please update us!!!!

+1!!!

[Anonymous]

You get your own room.

[Anonymous]

Pull a primadonna move yourself. Tell your mom that if she wants to keep the peace, she needs to support you. If you can't have your own room, you're not going. If they want you to join in on a family vacation, they need to treat you like an equal adult. Otherwise, you'll joing them when you "qualify" as a married woman. Enough of the second rate citizen shit.

Either that or tell them you've decided to envite your significant other along on the trip. Show up with your best girlfriend and let them sit and wonder about you two all week. Offer to let your niece bunk in with the two of you as long as her mother doesn't think your late night activities will bother your niece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pull a primadonna move yourself. Tell your mom that if she wants to keep the peace, she needs to support you. If you can't have your own room, you're not going. If they want you to join in on a family vacation, they need to treat you like an equal adult. Otherwise, you'll joing them when you "qualify" as a married woman. Enough of the second rate citizen shit.

Either that or tell them you've decided to envite your significant other along on the trip. Show up with your best girlfriend and let them sit and wonder about you two all week. Offer to let your niece bunk in with the two of you as long as her mother doesn't think your late night activities will bother your niece.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree you shouldn't put up with this. BUT it could be a great bonding experience with the niece. Don't take it out on the kid if it comes to that.

Sounds like OP/Aunt already has a good relationship with the niece. No need for the OP to "compromise" her room in order to "avoid taking it out on the kid." It seems like the OP will be a much more fun Aunt/Sister if she can enjoy her own space.

Plus, I wouldn't care if the sister didn't speak to me during the whole vacation. That's the good thing about beach vacations - they offer lots of opportunities for solitary pursuits when needed... And a refreshing alcoholic beverage would help immensely, if required!