OP, is this you? http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/373529.page

Do you do anything to show any interest in your SIL's life?

You clearly have different expectations of what a SIL should be than your ILs. You need to understand that not everyone feels the way you do. Your SIL wasn't a bitch to you, didn't trash your house or create conflict in your marriage. She just didn't behave according to your idea of how a SIL should behave. That doesn't make her behavior wrong, it's just not want you wanted. You're disappointed and angry about it. You need to grow up and let go of your expectations of her.

OP-

i completely get it. My MIL is the biggest PITA. She met dd at 6 weeks and promptly announced she would not change a single diaper. WTF. we never asked her to. also one of my BILs lives 45 minutes away but only comes by to use our house as a get together place when mi in-laws come. we end up hosting and no one lifts a finger to help expecting us to wait on them. Other BIL/SIL are worse. our kids were born 6 months apart. we sent baby gifts and card. not even a card acknowledging our dd's birth. when we were nearby their neck of the woods emailed them asking if we could meet up half way between. no response. would have been fine with a no--just would have appreciated reply.