Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 17:45     Subject: Re:5th grade group chat
What schools do you guys go to
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 21:23     Subject: Re:5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:TBH allowing fifth graders to participate in any group chat sounds like a horrendous idea.



+1
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 18:46     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Wait until middle school. These type of kids don’t stop at group chats. They create websites for the sole purpose of making fun of kids and being cruel using pictures and videos.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 18:38     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's bullying and not roasting where it's fun and the children are in on the joke?


Is there a difference?


I'm a parent of a 5th grader and right away wondered the same thing -- especially since your son said everyone was doing it. Bullying and roasting between friends are of course not the same thing! I think the friends roasting each other is so weird, but I'm a middle age woman, not an 11 year old boy. It's super common amongst 5th grade boys when friends get together (in person, not just in a chat). And yes, they actually call it "roasting". Maybe this group chat is your first exposure to it? It is jarring.

No kid needs to be on a big group chat, though, so remove him if you want. They are always dumb and vapid. Tell him he can make a smaller text group with his closer friends.

Obviously if actual bullying is occurring then that is different...




I understand, from looking at the messsages it does look like its "roasting" the problem is the school will see it the same way we do.


Can you give an example of roasting?
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 18:36     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's bullying and not roasting where it's fun and the children are in on the joke?


Oh stop with trying to claim these bullies are just comedians and it’s all in good fun. They are talking about kids who aren’t in the chat group. You can guarantee that the kids they are “roasting” wouldn’t find it funny. How naive are some of you?


OP never said that they were talking about kids who were not in the chat. And when "roasting" was explained to her, she said she re-read the chat and it did look like roasting.

My 5th grade DD was added by a friend to a "5th grade group chat" near the beginning of the year. It has like 30 kids on it, although many of those (her included) never actually post in it. I glance at it a bunch. I haven't seen bullying or talking about kids who are not on the chat. But it's worthless. My DD has zero interest in it. I have seen a lot of roasting between friends who are all present on the chat. (Once they were clearly using ChatGPT or something similar to insult each other.) And I've seen spats between kids who don't get along and absolutely say sh*tty and unkind things to each other in a back and forth. Those usually end with someone else finally telling the kids spatting to "shut up", "no one cares", "it's not that deep". Then someone tells that kid, "there's such a thing as silence mode". Participating is not a good use of your kid's time -- nothing wrong with telling him to have a friend remove him from the chat.


What? The OP says in the last paragraph of the original post that there are only 12 kids in the chat so half the class doesn’t know there being “bullied or whatever.” They are obviously talking about or “roasting” kids not in the group.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 17:39     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:5th graders shouldn't have phones.

In 5th grade these are often on iPads, not phones.


My 5th grader has a chat with a handful of her classmates, and they all use their iPads or their parents’ phones. Because they know parents can read the chat at any time, there isn’t anything that would get them into trouble. It’s annoying to get all the notifications if I don’t have it silenced on my devices, but otherwise it’s not the calamity people are imagining. I can see how having 10 or more kids, who are not all friends, could be problematic though.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 17:30     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Nothing good can come from chat groups like that, especially at 5th grade. Furthermore, god forbid someone shares some kind of explicit picture…I worked in a middle school where the student was arrested for circulating an underage photo. You cannot control other kids
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 13:42     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's bullying and not roasting where it's fun and the children are in on the joke?


Oh stop with trying to claim these bullies are just comedians and it’s all in good fun. They are talking about kids who aren’t in the chat group. You can guarantee that the kids they are “roasting” wouldn’t find it funny. How naive are some of you?


OP never said that they were talking about kids who were not in the chat. And when "roasting" was explained to her, she said she re-read the chat and it did look like roasting.

My 5th grade DD was added by a friend to a "5th grade group chat" near the beginning of the year. It has like 30 kids on it, although many of those (her included) never actually post in it. I glance at it a bunch. I haven't seen bullying or talking about kids who are not on the chat. But it's worthless. My DD has zero interest in it. I have seen a lot of roasting between friends who are all present on the chat. (Once they were clearly using ChatGPT or something similar to insult each other.) And I've seen spats between kids who don't get along and absolutely say sh*tty and unkind things to each other in a back and forth. Those usually end with someone else finally telling the kids spatting to "shut up", "no one cares", "it's not that deep". Then someone tells that kid, "there's such a thing as silence mode". Participating is not a good use of your kid's time -- nothing wrong with telling him to have a friend remove him from the chat.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 13:23     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Kid was expelled from my kids' school because of the kinds of thing he was saying in a 6th grade chat group. Everyone else in the group got in trouble as well. When I heard about the goings-on, I felt the private relief of someone whose often-in-trouble kid was, for once, not involved. No phone, no problems.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 13:16     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's bullying and not roasting where it's fun and the children are in on the joke?


Oh stop with trying to claim these bullies are just comedians and it’s all in good fun. They are talking about kids who aren’t in the chat group. You can guarantee that the kids they are “roasting” wouldn’t find it funny. How naive are some of you?
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 12:56     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:Also OP the attitude of "everyone bullies everyone" may lead your kids to be like the boys in this thread over in the Teen forum. Please don't be that parent who thinks that's a good thing:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1268562.page#29856352


Your kid is a follower and is making excuses. I hope you told him that everyone does not bully people.Teach him empathy and how to stand on his own two feet. Help give him the strength to drop it and tell them he doesn’t find talking about other people entertaining.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 08:46     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:5th graders shouldn't have phones.

In 5th grade these are often on iPads, not phones.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 08:36     Subject: Re:5th grade group chat
Kinda blows my mind how many parents think it's perfectly fine for a fifth grader to have a phone.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 08:36     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:There only 12 kids in the chat so half the class wasn't even invite so not even sure they know they are getting bullied or what ever going on,


Can it really be roasting if they’re roasting kids not on the chat? I’d explain you really shouldn’t be “roasting” or even talking about kids not on the chat and try to remove him. Roasting doesn’t work well in chats to begin with, much less when the person isn’t there to roast back.
Anonymous
Post 04/24/2025 08:15     Subject: 5th grade group chat
Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to come up with a single reason for letting a kid group chat who isn’t even a teen and I’m coming up with absolutely nothing. I can’t believe how bad parenting is these days. I really pity the kids. And teachers.


If someone adds your kid to a chat, depending on the phones, you may not be able to remove them. We had this issue with a giant chat started from an android phone with maybe 30 kids in it was would blow up my 14 yr old’s phone nonstop. They couldn’t be removed. We just had to mute it.