Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

"Building community" is saying something like, "I'd love this for my daughter" rather than "ME," no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been ghosted so many times my people. It makes trying to do a good deed not worth the time. Funny enough, I’ve had more luck when I posted something for five dollars versus for free. They actually will show up, maybe it’s because it has some type of value attached and seems more like a deal versus some thing somebody was just gonna throw out? I don’t know.

You're not doing a good deed when you post something to buy nothing. You're getting something out of the interaction (this thing that I don't use is no longer in my house) and they're getting something out of it (hey I've been looking for one of those) and you're both supposed to be building community ties. If you look at the group as your charity project you're probably going to be irritated because no one is in awe of your generosity.

I sometimes get no shows, which are annoying, so I try to wait and post bigger batches of things at once with a preference for someone who takes more than one item. Then there's less to coordinate, and the person who's willing to take 4 things for the one they really really want it more likely to show up because they want it enough to volunteer to take the other three in the first place, if that makes sense.

Disagree- unless it’s huge and bulky it’s a lot easier to just throw away most unwanted items than take the time to reasonably clean them, post and arrange pick up. Taking time out of your day to make them available to someone else who can use them is a good deed and definitely not one I would continue if the recipients were routinely rude/entitled.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely keep track if people are serial no-shows. But I also only try to post stuff that would have multiple people interested, so if the first person doesn't come I just move own the list.

It is annoying though sometimes. I find when I get too annoyed it's better to just take stuff to Goodwill or throw it out. Not everything needs to be posted to FB.

Anonymous wrote:Once I was giving away lots of barely used baby bottles (my baby refused the bottle; I was a FTM and freaked out and bought every brand in desperation but none worked). Someone claimed them and said she’d come by later to pick them up. It was a snowy day.

Lady pulls up in a giant Mercedes then calls my cell and tells me to bring them out to her.

Uh, seriously? That’s not how this works. If you want it for free, you get your butt out of your Mercedes and walk fifteen feet to my porch to grab them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1058976.page

No please or thank you! For shame.

Anonymous wrote:My Arlington Buy Nothing group is amazing. It’s over 2000 people and I’ve probably gifted 100 times and only had 1 no show. I’ve received some awesome stuff too.

Don’t even get me started on MONA. Everything is at least 5 emails even for a $5 bag of baby clothes. I once emailed back and forth with a lady 10 times over a week about a baby seat for an adult bike. I was asking $10 for a $90 seat. She then tried to give it back because her baby was too chunky. Sorry lady, it’s yours now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.