Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:39     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a very high earner and work 70-80 hour weeks. I will be involved as I possibly can with kids, but she will be the default parent. We will hire help with childcare and housekeeping, but she will manage the day-to-day responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, shuffling kids to school, etc. My parents had the same setup and it worked. My dad was very involved in raising us, but my mom did the bulk of it.


Find an administrative assistant. That’s how my high earning husband found me. I worked until we had kids and then I was lucky to stay at home with them while he handled the high pressure corporate world. I get you OP. Most people on here won’t.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:38     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess this is not the right place to ask this. I’m still a little surprised with most saying they would never sign a prenup considering this forum is filled with divorced people, people having affairs, and people who hate their spouses.

The prenup is to protect my businesses and certain assets. Any money we earn once married is considered “ ours” and she will have full access to. I don’t plan to get divorced but divorce rates are high.

I’m fine with a woman who wants to keep her career but I would prefer a woman who wants to take time off and be a SAHM while the kids are young.

I want a woman who is kind, attractive, smart, etc. I didn’t say those because they’re a given. Everyone wants that. Everyone wants to be married to a kind, loving, attractive, funny, and faithful person.

I want a true marriage. I do not want a mail order bride or someone young. I’m looking for a woman over 30 who is mature.

I have never cheated and never will. Divorce is not something I want.

At 37, I feel it’s normal to be single. Many people are getting married later in life. The PP who said having a kid at 40 means a child with special needs is wrong and insensitive. Many men and women have children at 40 or over 40 who do not have special needs. The age increases the chances, but that doesn’t mean it will happen in every case.

I can afford the lifestyle I want. I do think it’s ridiculous that some people on here think you can’t raise children with less than $400. I’ve known many families who have made less and still live in move homes, send their kids to private schools, and outsource help.

I want children. I will be part of their lives as much as possible. I will not be around as much in the earlier years because I want to set my family up for a great life. I’ve known many people who have similar situations.






"Any money we earn once married is considered “ ours”" - what money will that be coming from? the businesses she doesnt have the right to? a separate independent job that has nothing to do with your businesses?

"I will not be around as much in the earlier years because I want to set my family up for a great life." _ What will you be doing? Working for these businesses that she has signed away a right to? You want to set YOURSELF up for a great life, plus your wife IF you want to keep her around.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:20     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do all of what OP wants (and I handle the finances). My husband makes 100% of the money now. We met in law school.


He doesn't want her to have the ability to handle the finances, and he wants a pre-nup. Very different than your set-up.


That is because my husband isn’t an ass.


So you dont do what OP wants. Your situation is different.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:18     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Yes but... If the company increases in value by $X, will you give her half of that? Or just judge what is "enough" for her to live on?

Again.. I'm a guy so I'm naturally biased to take your side but it isn't easy
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:18     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:I call troll. O.P. I think you are just a bored fatty in your basement. Why are you On this site if you claim not to have a wife of kids?


OP here. This site is for single people too. There’s other forums like finance, real estate, politics, etc. that I frequent. Not that it’s any of your business. This site is for anyone. We don’t need your Monday quarterback armchair responses trying to dictate who can or can’t be on here.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:17     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


If the businesses are untouchable and the money comes from businesses, how is "money we earn together" hers?


OP here. I have other streams of income. The businesses and any family money I have is mine.


First of all, you do not need a prenup to keep inheritances separate. It’s automatically excluded from marital assets unless you put it in a joint account or otherwise commingle it. Family money is only yours. period. That’s true for everyone.

Second, I don’t understand how it would be remotely reasonable to exclude your primary source of income from marital assets. You basically want to share a tiny fraction of your future income with your wife. That’s only going to work if she also has a job and personal wealth. You can’t ask her to be a SAHM and raise your children, while also legally denying her half of marital income. Only an idiot would go along with that.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:17     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


Op, the problem is you could just funnel all your money into your business and claim you didnt earn it. Businesses can be used to hide money that should be marital assets. Any woman with two cents knows that can screw her over. And if your businesses or things that require your time and attention while you are married, and she is caring for your kids so you can focus on your business, she deserves some of that money or interests in the business.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:16     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op I'm a guy and your post kind of makes sense.. However, like others said.. if you get divorced and your business has grown from $5 mil to $10 mil in value, you think you should be entitled to the initial $5 mil value and you both are entitled to $2.5 mil each?

How would you pay her that $2.5 mil? Sell your company?


Response ?


OP here. I have money to give if we ever get divorced without needing to sell my companies. If divorced, she will be taken after of and never have to work again.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:15     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
I call troll. O.P. I think you are just a bored fatty in your basement. Why are you On this site if you claim not to have a wife of kids?
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:13     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Sounds like you think she should be content with a car, ring and some random goods gifts while you solely own all the increased value of your company during the marriage?
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:11     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Op I'm a guy and your post kind of makes sense.. However, like others said.. if you get divorced and your business has grown from $5 mil to $10 mil in value, you think you should be entitled to the initial $5 mil value and you both are entitled to $2.5 mil each?

How would you pay her that $2.5 mil? Sell your company?


Response ?
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:09     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


If the businesses are untouchable and the money comes from businesses, how is "money we earn together" hers?

I asked this too and op didn't respond. You suck op

Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:07     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your soul mate:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/917099.page


Haha!

It’s only funny because it’s true!


OP said he doesn't want someone who is divorced.

I didn't read through all the posts. Why not? OP seems quite picky. IMO, those two are perfect for each other.

I bet OP is the type who will expect the wife will:
1. put out on demand
2. stay slim after all the pregnancies
3. be submissive to what he wants


OP here. I don’t expect sex on demand. My ex and I only had sex 2-3 times a week most of the time. I’m fine with that. I don’t expect a submissive woman.

I actually prefer woman on the curvier side. I’m not into a skeleton. Not obese but my last girlfriend was 5’2, 150lbs. Busty and curvy. That’s what I prefer.


2-3 times a week is really great for a marriage, by the way. “Only 2-3 times a week”? It is a good amount. Just do you can temper your expectations (among the many you already have)
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:05     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your soul mate:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/917099.page


Haha!

It’s only funny because it’s true!


OP said he doesn't want someone who is divorced.

I didn't read through all the posts. Why not? OP seems quite picky. IMO, those two are perfect for each other.

I bet OP is the type who will expect the wife will:
1. put out on demand
2. stay slim after all the pregnancies
3. be submissive to what he wants


OP here. I don’t expect sex on demand. My ex and I only had sex 2-3 times a week most of the time. I’m fine with that. I don’t expect a submissive woman.

I actually prefer woman on the curvier side. I’m not into a skeleton. Not obese but my last girlfriend was 5’2, 150lbs. Busty and curvy. That’s what I prefer.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2020 20:01     Subject: How To Find A SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?


OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.


Do you miss her? Do you feel like she was the one who got away? Do you wish you had sweetened the deal to keep her?

Or are you perfectly fine with the fact that she walked away?


OP here. No. She found a new guy not even a week later.