Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?

OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.

If the businesses are untouchable and the money comes from businesses, how is "money we earn together" hers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your perfect woman!

She even has her own (admittedly small) trust fund so she’ll know more about prenups than you. She’s 34, worked nonprofit jobs and majored in dance so she’s probably attractive. (Plus everyone on that thread basically already told her she should be a SAHM.) You’re welcome.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/912648.page

No, that OP said she wants a career she's passionate about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I still think OP sounds like a jerk, but some devil’s advocacy: DH has a company. A lot of the value of the company, to his investors, is that he’s running it and they trust him. If we got divorced and suddenly I owned half his share, the company would be worth less to his investors because they don’t trust ME. It would be reasonable, if we got divorced, to structure any settlement so that I didn’t get his share of the company. Is it possible that’s the kind of thing OP is talking about and just coming off baby because he’s a moron?

It had to be stringent enough for his girlfriend to dump him.

By his own admission, OP loved her, thought she was the one, everything was great. He wanted to marry her. When he brought up the details of his prenup she left. This was a woman in her 30’s who wanted a family and had lived with OP for a year and yet she walked away. That should tell you everything you need to know about how “reasonable” OP’s prenup is.

OP here. She didn’t want to sign the prenup because she wanted access to my money, not my business. I helped her a lot with paying off all her debt, buying her a new car, buying the house she wanted over my preference, etc. I loved her but I know she loved my money more. I still let her keep the new car, her ring, and never asked for the money that I paid down her debt.

OP, what exactly were the terms of the prenup? Understand that it is pretty reasonable to insist that what you accumulated prior to marriage remains yours. I don't think anyone would have a problem with that, I mean no reasonable woman would. Now, the money accumulated from the moment you were married are typically halfsies. So what exactly did you want her to leave behind?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your best option is to go back your exgirlfriend. As you can see the idea of being a SAHM with a prenup would make most women uneasy for good reason.

You said you loved her and you thought she was the one. You even lived together for a year. The only issue was the prenup. Why not buy a ring, tell her you love her. Ask her to marry you. This is what you should have done from the beginning.

(BTW you say you want the type of relationship your parents had. Did they have a prenup? Probably not. It changes the dynamic completely.)

OP here. I did buy her a ring and ask her to marry me. We dated for 1.5 years ( lives together for 6 months) and I then I bought her a very nice ring she wanted. I still let her keep the ring even though it was very expensive.

My parents did have a prenup.

Are your parents still married?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, OP, I get that your ideal is what your dad did (work a lot when the kids are little and then have more free time later) but consider that that’s probably what he HAD to do and not a intentional lifestyle choice. My H works a lot right now in the hopes of being able to semi-retire in 5 years or so, but if he could scale back now without a big hit he totally would. Our oldest is in second grade, our youngest is due in January, and these are all ages where they need and adore time with their parents. Older kids are a lot less work and a lot more fun to hang out with, but I promise you your imaginary SAHW is going to resent you choosing to work a million hours when she’d love you to run around in the yard with the toddlers after dinner so she can put her feet up for a second, then swooping in time do the fun stuff years later when she actually has the energy for it.

OP here. I will be involved. Most women are the default parent, but that doesn’t mean their husbands aren’t involved. I will be involved. I regularly babysit my nephew when my brother comes into town. I will be involved by I won’t be there 24/7.

You babysitting your nephew when your brother comes to town is not the same as being a father. The fact that you equate babysitting to being a father is telling. Being a parent is a 24/7 job.

Anonymous wrote:If your fiance gave you the same or similiar prenup, would you sign it?

Anonymous wrote:And if I asked her why she left, what would she say?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your perfect woman!

She even has her own (admittedly small) trust fund so she’ll know more about prenups than you. She’s 34, worked nonprofit jobs and majored in dance so she’s probably attractive. (Plus everyone on that thread basically already told her she should be a SAHM.) You’re welcome.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/912648.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your soul mate:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/917099.page

Haha!

It’s only funny because it’s true!

OP said he doesn't want someone who is divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?

OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.

If the businesses are untouchable and the money comes from businesses, how is "money we earn together" hers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?

OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your soul mate:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/917099.page

Haha!

It’s only funny because it’s true!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were the details of the prenup your fiancée rejected?

OP here. She won’t be able to touch my businesses or family money or money before we met. Everything else is hers. Money we earn together is hers. The house and car are hers. I kept the house when she left but I let her keep a new $40k car, didn’t ask for the $20kdebt I paid off for her, and she kept the $30k ring I bought her. Any gift I gave her she kept.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I found your soul mate:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/917099.page