Anonymous wrote:My Asian sister in law has broken our nephews. They are like little robots; perfectly obedient in every way and devastatingly boring. Not unique, not compelling. Just perfect students and piano players who are completely forgettable. Its really sad.

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't look like he made that video after a hard day at the construction site.

Seems like a kid rambling, because he can't even write a short essay to express himself?

Anonymous wrote:I really feel bad for him: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/180/1240370.page

He said in the video that he has trouble looking for a job as a physics major from University of Michigan. He graduated with honors, no less.

Anonymous wrote:I did this to my oldest child when he was growing up, and our relationship was never the same after he graduated from an Ivy. Last week, he sent me this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV9hn47j44w

He asked me not to repeat those mistakes to his younger brothers. After watching the video, I am an awful parent and failed my children.

Anonymous wrote:I really feel bad for him: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/180/1240370.page

He said in the video that he has trouble looking for a job as a physics major from University of Michigan. He graduated with honors, no less.

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Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Everybody who immigrated here is sacrificial according to this logic.

yes, it is. It's incredibly difficult for parents to leave what they know, their family and friends, to move to a country where you barely or don't speak the language, don't understand the process, etc.. with little kids.

That decision is on them.
They effectively alienated their kids from their extended family and the proverbial village of social support and network.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Everybody who immigrated here is sacrificial according to this logic.

yes, it is. It's incredibly difficult for parents to leave what they know, their family and friends, to move to a country where you barely or don't speak the language, don't understand the process, etc.. with little kids.