I went to so many nice expensive weddings and half of those couples are no longer married. Count your blessings.

I had the wedding and hated it. My ex insisted on a big ridiculous wedding. It looks great. Marriage was terrible immediately and we divorced after 10 years.

Stop with the fantasy of a perfect wedding.

I had a big lavish wedding (paid for by my dad). I am happy I did, but 3 kids later I wish I could spend that money in different ways… trust me… it’s not that important

A big wedding is all for show. It's meaningless, wasteful consumerism. What matters is 5, 10, 30 years after the wedding. Mediate on your gratitude for finding true love and being still married.

Anonymous wrote:Gee OP I wish I was able to go to grad school but couldn’t afford it and now have too kids and it’s a pandemic and we need to save for the kids’ college. See how that works? You’re tossing around your privilege about extra degrees.

+1 It's not even like you completely missed your wedding day OP. You had a wedding day with guests and a caterer, you're just annoyed that the flowers came from Costco rather than a trendy boutique. Be grateful that your sadness in life is a suboptimal wedding rather than you or your DH having cancer or something else terrible.

Do a lavish vow renewal if it means so much.

Do your husband a favor and get divorced. I can only imagine the resentment on your part is making his life miserable.

Our wedding cost about $3500. I didn’t have a dream wedding in mind but it was what we could afford. Our daughters’ weddings cost between $80k and $100k and they are no happier than their parents! They had their dream weddings and I loved planning it with them but it was crazy. But I’m guilty!

Gee OP I wish I was able to go to grad school but couldn’t afford it and now have too kids and it’s a pandemic and we need to save for the kids’ college. See how that works? You’re tossing around your privilege about extra degrees.

You’re your own worst enemy, OP.

$12k is a ton. We got married in grad school on a $5k budget. We now have a pretty high HHI and I can’t even imagine wanting to spend more than $12k even if I did get a do-over.

Is this you op?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/994184.page

If so, you need some serious attitude adjustment. Living your (privileged) life by wallowing in regret that you did not have the princess wedding/2 m dollar home/whatever is incredibly self centered and deeply sad. No wonder you're so unhappy. There seems to be nothing inside you. No identity apart from status you assign externally. I would normally suggest therapy but you seem so focused on your own manufactured trauma that I recommy vomuntt with those far less fortunate instead.

I had a nice wedding 15 years ago that I never think about. I’m very happily married and have 2 kids and I NEVER think about my wedding.

Just throw yourself a big anniversary party or birthday party or something.

You chose the self-indulgent grad school path. You get what you get. Perpetual students get to have their fun, and then the music stops. Hope you both enjoyed the ride.