Anonymous wrote:I remember you from last year, and it’s clear you just don’t like your ILs and don’t want to invite them. You’re using the excuse of your mom “helping” as a way to just invite her. Own it and stop pretending it’s anything else.

Would you DD like them there, or not care? If the former, it’s not that hard to say “Dan and Barb, Julie’s play is coming up again. I know last year it was hot and crowded and not the most fun time, but if you’d like to come, you are welcome. It’s on May 8 at 3 pm in the school gym. Bob will be out of town and Julie has a practice right after, so the day will be hectic, and we won’t be able to socialize after.” And then let them handle their own schedule and say hi and thanks for coming after on your way out.

THIS.

I remember you from last year, and it’s clear you just don’t like your ILs and don’t want to invite them. You’re using the excuse of your mom “helping” as a way to just invite her. Own it and stop pretending it’s anything else.

Would you DD like them there, or not care? If the former, it’s not that hard to say “Dan and Barb, Julie’s play is coming up again. I know last year it was hot and crowded and not the most fun time, but if you’d like to come, you are welcome. It’s on May 8 at 3 pm in the school gym. Bob will be out of town and Julie has a practice right after, so the day will be hectic, and we won’t be able to socialize after.” And then let them handle their own schedule and say hi and thanks for coming after on your way out.

Let your mom help. Let everyone else know it's happening, and that it isn't a command performance - if they'd like to come (acknowledging the challenging logistics you can't control) - great. And if they'd rather see their grandchild in a more comfortable way that's great too.

You're making this more than it needs to be OP - no one could reasonably expect you to control the seats, temperature, size of audience, etc...

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So OK to let my mom tag along and help me out? What if ILs find out? I wish I had easy in-laws that didn’t make things like this so difficult.

Then they will find out. Event is about your daughter and not about them. This is a new stage for you, so toughen up.

Yea ok
Is this you OP from around this time last year??
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/725306.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would your inlaws find out? Just keep your mouth shut. Let your mom help if you want.

Kids talk.

Kid: And today was my play
Gma: What?! Ask Mommy why I wasn't invited
Kid: I think because you had such a bad time last year. Everyone could tell how unhappy you were.

If you can groom a kid to say these words, you can groom a kid to keep their mouth shut period.

Anonymous wrote:The right thing to do is NOT TO INVITE.

Your kid is reaching the age when the grandparents just don't get to come for everything. They especially don't get to come to events that they ruined last time.

This. Why in the world do you think people want to be invited.