The secret to how people got rich on DCUM is largely: they went to law school, they got a job at a big firm, they never left.

It's not that they're so much better at managing their money than you. It's that they make a sh*t ton of money because of the industry they are in. It's not a function of logic or fairness.

You should get financial planners, estate attorneys and planners, and mortgage brokers to answer this. They see all the secrets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider "rich"?

It's a function of age. For a married couple, Invested assets of $2.0M by 40. $4M by 50.

We will be close to that by the time I am 40 (although husband is 5 years older so we won't hit before he is there).

The key for us has been:

-Both spouses work in well paying (although not absurdly high paying) jobs. Our HHI has been around 500K for the last 5 years or so (I am 33 - both lawyers although neither of us work in big law anymore).

-We don't spend an outrageous amount on childcare just because we can - daycare has been great for our DD and it's well over half what a nanny would have cost us. I see this too with private v. public, especially for elementary school. If your kid is neurotypical and you live in a decent district, private elementary is a crazy waste of money (in my opinion) unless you are incredibly wealthy. Some argument can be made for middle and high school, but two kids of K-5 private is a half million right there.

-Moved to a lower cost of living area than DC (but still a city - think Denver, Austin, Raleigh, Portland, Seattle) but kept the same income and actually made more. I realize not an option for everyone depending on your field.

-Max retirement and all other tax advantage vehicles.

-Throw the rest into retirement/the market and let it sit. Don't try to game the market.

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider "rich"?

It's a function of age. For a married couple, Invested assets of $2.0M by 40. $4M by 50.

What do you consider "rich"?

Here's an example of what not to do if you want to become Rich or Preserve Wealth you already accumulated:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/719201.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most on DCUM come from money

Even if they do, what behaviors did they grow up with to preserve and grow wealth?

Invest wisely and spend less than you make

-np

True that. There's wisdom in the old adage.

I did not come from money, so I had to make my own.

Max out retirement starting day 1 of a professional job;

Live below your means -- whether that's living on one salary/saving the other; or if you're single/or married but can't do the 1 salary thing -- make it a goal to save 25-50% of one salary at least.

And then what you save from living below your means -- invest it -- at least most of it.

Invest invest invest, even if it's $1000 here and $3000 there, it adds up. For example when I was at a job with a transit benefit, I kept track of how much I was saving by using company funded public transit vs. driving and parking each day -- subtracting out the days I drove anyway or took Uber. I kept track of the amount saved and every few months when that amount added up to $1500+, I threw it in the market. As I saw it, I'd be spending that amount anyway if the co. took away transit, so why not act like it's being "spent" now by throwing it in the market.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two incomes, pretend you only have one and invest the other. Do this forever, and you'll be rich.

This is what we've done. We weren't handed anything. It's not a secret. We don't appear rich, although we are.

+1. Live off of the lower income and invest the higher income.

invest where?

low-cost stock index funds. and don't ever sell them or change them or chase performance. just leave them.

+1 Living below our means and steady investing into Vanguard Total Stock Market Index fund has made and kept us rich-ish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two incomes, pretend you only have one and invest the other. Do this forever, and you'll be rich.

This is what we've done. We weren't handed anything. It's not a secret. We don't appear rich, although we are.

+1. Live off of the lower income and invest the higher income.

So living off our lower income I would have to buy a home with a crappy schools or 100+ mile commute (my colleagues with SAHM chose the long commute but it is wearing). This only works if your lower income is already pretty rich, PP

1) What's your lower income? What's your higher income?

2) Don't be someone who hears good advice and immediately looks for all the reasons why it's impossible to incorporate in your own life. That's a victim mentality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have two incomes, pretend you only have one and invest the other. Do this forever, and you'll be rich.

This is what we've done. We weren't handed anything. It's not a secret. We don't appear rich, although we are.

+1. Live off of the lower income and invest the higher income.

invest where?

low-cost stock index funds. and don't ever sell them or change them or chase performance. just leave them.

Buy rental property and then buy more rental property

Anonymous wrote:If I'm going off the behavior I see in my ILs:

Always let the other person pay for dinner.

Always buy for quality. Spend more now to make it last longer.

Seriously. I can remember maybe a handful of times of when the ILs have picked up the check. They offer, sure, but when the other party does the customary, "no, let me" they don't play the game of back and forth, they simply let them.

All of my MILs furniture is decades old, but looks fab because she spent $$$ on it. And they are classic pieces that age well and don't look dated. I have friends who pay designers to flip their living rooms every few years to refresh them, spending $5k-$10k on mostly IKEA and Urban Essentials type places.

Is it wrong to hope when I am old, my kid will offer to pick up the check? For all of those years of unconditional love, camps, classes, college and grad school, please buy your Mom an app and dinner!

If I'm going off the behavior I see in my ILs:

Always let the other person pay for dinner.

Always buy for quality. Spend more now to make it last longer.

Seriously. I can remember maybe a handful of times of when the ILs have picked up the check. They offer, sure, but when the other party does the customary, "no, let me" they don't play the game of back and forth, they simply let them.

All of my MILs furniture is decades old, but looks fab because she spent $$$ on it. And they are classic pieces that age well and don't look dated. I have friends who pay designers to flip their living rooms every few years to refresh them, spending $5k-$10k on mostly IKEA and Urban Essentials type places.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most on DCUM come from money

This is the DCUM lie people tell themselves to make them feel better. It couldn't be from luck, hard-work, education, saving, investing, or anything else. Gotta be from dear old Uncle Moneybags IV.

No, you misunderstand what it means to come from money. Did you parents have stable jobs, own their own home, attend a school were less than 40% were FARMS, and you didn't have to take out 5-6 six figure student loan debt for just your undergraduate education? Then you came from money.

Even more so, if your parents/family/friends from home can give guidance for career planning or even help with job/client referrals, even more so. You are running in a different world than over 50% of the rest of the country.

Do I come from money if:
Did you parents have stable jobs - NO
own their own home - NO
attend a school were less than 40% were FARMS - NO
you didn't have to take out 5-6 six figure student loan debt for just your undergraduate education? YES - I was on merit scholarship

My parents would be chuffed to know that I came from money