Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My understanding is my brother didn't take any furniture. I think he rented a furnished apartment but I don't really know his living situation. I actually sort of get her impulse to redecorate since it's the stuff they shared (and a lot was inherited from my relatives) but I still feel really sad about the waist. Apart from concern for my brother and nephew I also assume this will indirectly impact my finances - if my parents feel compelled to help my brother (and I'm sure they do) there's less, for instance, to help with gifts toward our own college savings etc. That's not a main concern at all, but I do think that's in the back of my mind.

When his erratic behavior and threats required my ex move out, he initially didn't remove furnishings he owned from before marriage. However, I knew he would get them in the divorce and I replaced them before he claimed his stuff so here wouldn't be a night my kids and I didn't what we needed. Solid wood. Not IKEA. It was not an issue for the judge.

Your case sounds absolutely NOTHING like this one.

Your ex was forced from your home due to his threats & threatening/erratic behavior, of course a judge is going to sympathize with you, duh.

She also said that her SIL is spending extravagantly on non essential items. A judge is definitely going to take issue with reckless spending in an irresponsible way, especially when it's to the tune of emptying out their children's college funds to pay for her spa dates & over priced nonsense.

You're ridiculous if you think buying your "solid wood" furniture (lol) even compares to the frivolous spending in this case.

There's always one who just has to make everything about themselves though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My understanding is my brother didn't take any furniture. I think he rented a furnished apartment but I don't really know his living situation. I actually sort of get her impulse to redecorate since it's the stuff they shared (and a lot was inherited from my relatives) but I still feel really sad about the waist. Apart from concern for my brother and nephew I also assume this will indirectly impact my finances - if my parents feel compelled to help my brother (and I'm sure they do) there's less, for instance, to help with gifts toward our own college savings etc. That's not a main concern at all, but I do think that's in the back of my mind.

When his erratic behavior and threats required my ex move out, he initially didn't remove furnishings he owned from before marriage. However, I knew he would get them in the divorce and I replaced them before he claimed his stuff so here wouldn't be a night my kids and I didn't what we needed. Solid wood. Not IKEA. It was not an issue for the judge.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. My understanding is my brother didn't take any furniture. I think he rented a furnished apartment but I don't really know his living situation. I actually sort of get her impulse to redecorate since it's the stuff they shared (and a lot was inherited from my relatives) but I still feel really sad about the waist. Apart from concern for my brother and nephew I also assume this will indirectly impact my finances - if my parents feel compelled to help my brother (and I'm sure they do) there's less, for instance, to help with gifts toward our own college savings etc. That's not a main concern at all, but I do think that's in the back of my mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-BIL did this. Blew through all the college funds in a year. My sister had to start from scratch.

Your brother should talk to his lawyer.

I would totally do this. I mean its pretty smart before you get to the end of the divorce proceedings and some harpy tries to make you sign an agreement providing for child support until the kid leaves college. Somethings are just BS.

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his wife are in a drawn out divorce battle. The rumor mill via my family is that she is racking up charges on credit cards and exhausting their savings. At this point my brother told my parents he's having trouble covering work expenses like renting his office. I feel so sad for their child - she has spent more this year (supposedly) than it would take to pay for college. I'm obviously not privy to what's going on, so I'm skeptical, but it makes me feel nervous and upset. If this is actually happening wouldn't a judge put a stop to it?

Anonymous wrote:My brother dated my SIL for 5 years and they have been married for 10. He had an affair and they are now divorcing. I haven't spoken to either of them (have texted with both) but it sounds like things are pretty nasty. My brother behaved poorly, but now she is too (spending all their savings a lot of which was an inheritance my brother brought to the marriage; causing him to lose his business by going after his share; limiting my family's access to their child...). It's all just really sad.

I have a newborn who I feel won't know her aunt and will have limited access to her cousin. I also used to talk with SIL about so many things. She just unfriended me on Facebook so clearly is distancing herself.

I want to reach out but think that's probably selfish. Also I'm mad at both of them and know being mad at her is unproductive. Do I just accept she's not really in my life anymore and my DD won't have a relationship with her aunt and cousin? I don't even know what I want by reaching out ... mostly I'm curious what SIL wants / why she's cut all of us off but I doubt I could ask in a neutral way and doubt she'd tell me if she took my call. Will time heal wounds or is she out of my life?

Op here. I called her / spoke to her quite a bit when this all first happened (this fall). Then she stopped taking my calls as much so I would text her to say I was here when she wanted, that I missed her etc. Our children would still skype after that but that's stopped too. I don't want to force myself on her and I also gave birth a few weeks ago. Still, part of why I came on here is to see if I should call?

Since we last spoke my brother was forced out of his business. My understanding is that she wanted half his partnership and wouldn't take a buyout and the other partners weren't open to that and forced him out when she wouldn't agree to a different settlement. I don't really know since I haven't spoken to my brother since this all happened and I haven't spoken to my SIL in a few months. And now my newest understanding is he cannot take his son overnight until the divorce is finalized (which could be awhile) which means he can't visit us and if we visit my family it's up to SIL whether we can go to her house and see her / my nephew. It will be awhile anyway since we're on opposite sides of the country and we have a newborn.