I did not need to continue reading. It's worse than my family oriented DH. Hes sweet and nice, but we fought a lot the first few years on this. After 10 years and two kids eating into our free time, we don't see his family as often, but still 35 times a year.

I say he's not the best fit for you.

Ugh-- rip the band aid off and run away from this situation asap! It will only get worse. Imagine when you have kids with him and he can't prioritize you and the kids over his family. Imagine the battles about where to spend holidays. Trust me, it will not get any better than it is right now. Respect yourself and break this off.

This is what you'll be posting in a few years, after marriage and children:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/631259.page

The purpose of the red flags and stress are to warn you of something you know in your gut will be bad for you. So do away with what's bad (in this case, fiance and marriage), and the bad feelings will stop. Don't ignore or gloss over this, or try to put lipstick on the pig. You'll come to regret that.

How old are you, OP?

OP, honestly, how did you get to this point? Did you push this down inside and never talk about it with your family and your girlfriends?

Because if I were your sister or your best friend, and you told me all this, I would be doing everything in my power to convince you to walk away now.

It's a heck of lot easier to get out of this now. Do it. Now.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sad for this poster. I think it will get way worse once you have kids. He will expect your kids to be with his family 100% of the time. His family will easily be able to guilt you into seeing "their grandchild" or "their niece/nephew". I feel so sorry for you. I wish you would've posted this a few months ago. Two weeks before is really cutting it close. But I agree, this is never going to get better. Sending you hugs.

This is a very good point. His family will usurp your children and try to do everything possible to prevent them having relationships with your side of the family.

And imagine divorcing him with children. You'll never see them again...

Anonymous wrote:I am so sad for this poster. I think it will get way worse once you have kids. He will expect your kids to be with his family 100% of the time. His family will easily be able to guilt you into seeing "their grandchild" or "their niece/nephew". I feel so sorry for you. I wish you would've posted this a few months ago. Two weeks before is really cutting it close. But I agree, this is never going to get better. Sending you hugs.

Run, don't walk, away from him. Deal with this now, or deal with it for the next 50 years of your life.

How does his family treat you?

Anonymous wrote:You never should have agreed to marry him. I think you know that.

IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED, because he will expect you to think of them/treat them as family.

Walk away now.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Call of the wedding! This won't change! Trust me, I've been through it!

+1 Run, now. Trust me, the sh!tstorm of canceling a wedding is minor compared to getting a divorce. My ex wasn't exactly like the posted details here, but she was completely enmeshed with her insane and dysfunctional family and I was expected to join in. Nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:He's a pussy. You need a real man who will treat you like the quality woman you are.

How do you know she is a quality woman?

Run.

He's a pussy. You need a real man who will treat you like the quality woman you are.

I am so sad for this poster. I think it will get way worse once you have kids. He will expect your kids to be with his family 100% of the time. His family will easily be able to guilt you into seeing "their grandchild" or "their niece/nephew". I feel so sorry for you. I wish you would've posted this a few months ago. Two weeks before is really cutting it close. But I agree, this is never going to get better. Sending you hugs.