OP, why are you married?

It's not my mortgage! I put the down payment on the house. It's enough, and far exceeds whatever he's paid on a monthly basis!

OP, were you a SAHM in 2013?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/314958.page

Anonymous wrote:I work. I made $127K last year to DH $115K. I keep my money separate b/c he will steal it and spend it and I don't know on what he will spend it. He just always seems to have debts he can't get out of. He thinks I should give hime money so he pay them off, that's why he wants money for the mortgage, etc. I already told him if he tried to divorce me I'll quit my job so he has to support me.

Ummm...apparently he would spend it on your mortgage.

If you guys cannot figure this out, just get divorced. You should at least have a household account into which you both put significant funds and from which you pay household expenses.

EXACTLY!!!! OP why don't you think you should contribute at all? I bet the reason your DH can't get things paid off, is because he's paying everything, INCLUDING unexpected expenses as well....all the while you have enough to purchase investment property? WOW, what do you think he was supposed to do? Huh? NOT pay the car repair, which I am pretty sure he needs to GET TO WORK, so yeah, I can see how he probably thought the mortgage could be paid late....not a great decision....but if he's the only one paying everything, then I can see how he had to juggle things to get the unexpected things paid too.

I think I remember the OP's DH posted about this at some point. I remember him saying that she did not contribute to household expenses, and yet she expected him to be the one to cover her car repair.

OP, why don't you think you should contribute to household expenses? You know, for the home that you live in, for the roof over your head?

oh my god, you sound like a terrible person.

Anonymous wrote:I work. I made $127K last year to DH $115K. I keep my money separate b/c he will steal it and spend it and I don't know on what he will spend it. He just always seems to have debts he can't get out of. He thinks I should give hime money so he pay them off, that's why he wants money for the mortgage, etc. I already told him if he tried to divorce me I'll quit my job so he has to support me.

Just so you're clear, it doesn't work this way. You are an able bodied adult that has a proven history of being able to hold down a $127K job. He won't be supporting you. You may quit your job but you will be told to get another one.

Anonymous wrote:I work. I made $127K last year to DH $115K. I keep my money separate b/c he will steal it and spend it and I don't know on what he will spend it. He just always seems to have debts he can't get out of. He thinks I should give hime money so he pay them off, that's why he wants money for the mortgage, etc. I already told him if he tried to divorce me I'll quit my job so he has to support me.

Sounds mentally healthy.

I work. I made $127K last year to DH $115K. I keep my money separate b/c he will steal it and spend it and I don't know on what he will spend it. He just always seems to have debts he can't get out of. He thinks I should give hime money so he pay them off, that's why he wants money for the mortgage, etc. I already told him if he tried to divorce me I'll quit my job so he has to support me.

I'm not sure that's even an appropriate application of the circus/monkeys phrase. However, that doesn't change the fact the you and your husband have a toxic relationship fraught with underhanded passive aggressive comments and actions.

You both need to sit down, work on a budget together that takes into account your entire household income and then decide who pays for what and where every dollar should go at the end of the month. If doing that means you can't afford the apartment you want to buy, then you shouldn't try to buy it.

If it's true that you chose to buy this place and you didn't consult with him, I can understand why he's mad. But he should have come to you in the same way when he came up short on funds and couldn't pay the mortgage.

I second Troll


Poorly thought out story to boot.

Anonymous wrote:TROLL!

Not my trolls, not my bridge.

Divorce him. That's classic gaslighting.

Why are you buying an investment apartment that you clearly can't afford? WTF.

2007 all over again.