DH stole my money

[Anonymous]

I am SAHM. I have a bank account of my own with a substantial amount of money put aside for whenever I need it. My DH and I constantly fight about it, because he thinks that I should use it for some of my own expenses, such as the repairs on my car. In any, case DH recently paid $1200 to repair my car. He didn't fight about it with me, but I just opened my bank statement and saw that our mortgage company took the monthly mortgage payment last month from my account. When I confronted DH about this, he said that he told me that his emergency fund was tapped out - we had some pretty expensive house repairs lately - and that I wouldn't hear of tapping into "my" emergency fund - which almost a year of DH's salary (I got this by keeping a bit for myself over the years from the money he provided for household expenses). In any case, he said the house is jointly owned and we are both responsible for it and he simpy provided the routing number and account number to the mortgage company for an ACH withdrawal. What should I do in this situation, as I feel he has basically stolen my money.

[Anonymous]

How did he have access to your account? (pin numbers, etc?)
YES, this is stealing. I would absolutely speak to him about it (perhaps in couples therapy ASAP!!!) Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you're giving an accurate recounting of what's going on, I'm siding with him. Sounds like you've been hoarding his money and not actually contributing anything to household expenses. He didn't blow "his" money on a sportscar, and actual living expenses have been high.

And if you really behave this way, you should find a better hiding place for "your" money. Do you earn any income yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am SAHM. I have a bank account of my own with a substantial amount of money put aside for whenever I need it. My DH and I constantly fight about it, because he thinks that I should use it for some of my own expenses, such as the repairs on my car. In any, case DH recently paid $1200 to repair my car. He didn't fight about it with me, but I just opened my bank statement and saw that our mortgage company took the monthly mortgage payment last month from my account. When I confronted DH about this, he said that he told me that his emergency fund was tapped out - we had some pretty expensive house repairs lately - and that I wouldn't hear of tapping into "my" emergency fund - which almost a year of DH's salary (I got this by keeping a bit for myself over the years from the money he provided for household expenses). In any case, he said the house is jointly owned and we are both responsible for it and he simpy provided the routing number and account number to the mortgage company for an ACH withdrawal. What should I do in this situation, as I feel he has basically stolen my money.

How is he stealing something from you that you didn't earn? You say yourself, it's money you put aside from the money HE provided for household expenses!! Sounds like you are the one stealing here. WTF?! Here's an idea. Get a job, earn your OWN money, & put it in YOUR account. He's right, the money is for the household, NOT you. Not even sure I believe this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am SAHM. I have a bank account of my own with a substantial amount of money put aside for whenever I need it. My DH and I constantly fight about it, because he thinks that I should use it for some of my own expenses, such as the repairs on my car. In any, case DH recently paid $1200 to repair my car. He didn't fight about it with me, but I just opened my bank statement and saw that our mortgage company took the monthly mortgage payment last month from my account. When I confronted DH about this, he said that he told me that his emergency fund was tapped out - we had some pretty expensive house repairs lately - and that I wouldn't hear of tapping into "my" emergency fund - which almost a year of DH's salary (I got this by keeping a bit for myself over the years from the money he provided for household expenses). In any case, he said the house is jointly owned and we are both responsible for it and he simpy provided the routing number and account number to the mortgage company for an ACH withdrawal. What should I do in this situation, as I feel he has basically stolen my money.

How is he stealing something from you that you didn't earn? You say yourself, it's money you put aside from the money HE provided for household expenses!! Sounds like you are the one stealing here. WTF?! Here's an idea. Get a job, earn your OWN money, & put it in YOUR account. He's right, the money is for the household, NOT you. Not even sure I believe this story.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did he have access to your account? (pin numbers, etc?)
YES, this is stealing. I would absolutely speak to him about it (perhaps in couples therapy ASAP!!!) Good luck!

This was me. I confess I did not read original post as carefully as I should have. After rereading, I have to agree that this is not really stealing, though, I do think he should have told you that he was planning on withdrawing the money.

[Anonymous]

OP here, it is a true story. I opened my bank account statement and saw $2800 taken out to our mortgage company. He didn't even ask me. He just did it! I am so mad! He asked whether he would pay the mortgage late or pay for my car! It has always been like this, him making me choose between things - once it was a car vs. dental work. Why should I have to choose between things I need.

[Anonymous]

I am SAHM, I don't earn anything, and who knows if DH would just take off someday. I need my little nest egg, just my own piece of mind, and now he is taking it!

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. you are in the wrong here. It is not your money it's the family's money and if the family needs to tap into it pay expenses then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Get a friggin job, loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a friggin job, loser.

Yup. It's his money. Can't imagine my husband giving me an "allowance." So you're posses about having to pay for the house you live in? P

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it is a true story. I opened my bank account statement and saw $2800 taken out to our mortgage company. He didn't even ask me. He just did it! I am so mad! He asked whether he would pay the mortgage late or pay for my car! It has always been like this, him making me choose between things - once it was a car vs. dental work. Why should I have to choose between things I need.

Because you're hoarding money and not actually paying for the household expenses?

Boy I hope you're a troll. It's women like you that give SAHs and women a bad name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP. you are in the wrong here. It is not your money it's the family's money and if the family needs to tap into it pay expenses then so be it.

I agree with this. Considering you don't earn a stable income for the family, he should be using the money if he needs it. Seriously, I wouldn't pay for your car fixed or for dental work if you were acting like what's yours is yours. But wait, it wasn't even yours.

[Anonymous]

Get a job if you feel you need your own money!!! I'm sure the resentment from your weird absconding has been building up for years.

[Anonymous]

It also sounds like you're living above your means if it's this close each month. You need to spend less, and next time don't marry a guy for his money. Marry someone you actually like and want to consider yourselves a team.