Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the "why is my sister eating salad" poster?

If so, GOOD GOD LEAVE HER ALONE.

Link? I'm curious to see what you mean by this.

NP. Here's the link:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/552911.page

I know exactly what you're talking about. My sister is older than me by two years. She has been astronomically rude and a put-down to me ever since she was old enough to talk. I had to put up with 20 years of her treating me like garbage, because our mom never cared enough to look into it. Now, she's so used to treating me that way that she thinks nothing of it. I finally lost my temper at her the other day after more than 2 decades of tolerating her behavior, and now she's complaining to the rest of the family that "I was rude to her", and generally being a baby about it. For all those people out there that can dish it out but can't take it, just cut the crap. No one deserves to be treated that way. I've been fighting my own battles for years, because no one else in the family knows how she acts to me, they only see the nice, fake side of her and immediately give her the benefit of the doubt. I can't get anywhere in the family, and my sister refuses to admit the way she treats me. The sad part of it is that now I can't see my nephew because of it, but it's a small price to pay in order not to get treated like shit.

Why do people expect to be friends with people just because you have the same DNA? If she abuses you, stay away.

My sister would probably say that I'm the one icing her out. Truth is, I just decided that I won't put in any more effort. My sister isn't nasty or outright mean, she's just extremely self involved. She calls, visits, interacts, is friendly, etc. when she needs something. And it doesn't have to be something concrete - but if she's lonely, bored, doesn't have anything else going on she acts like we're the best of friends and the closest of sisters.

The minute something is going on in her life, she can't be bothered with me. If I initiate and ask to interact I am dismissed. It doesn't seem like it's a big deal, but when it happens over and over again, it does something to my psyche. I go from feeling valued and important in her life to being a throw-away. And I feel rejected because of it. it's a different feeling than if you have a back-and-forth rapport with someone who once in a while doesn't have time for you.

Because of that, I decided a few months ago to make my relationship with her more like an acquaintance. It's a way for me to manage my own emotions. I don't even look at her like a sister anymore - just someone I know. If she reaches out then sure, I'll see her if I have time and have nothing else going on, but I'm not going to reach out to her or make any extra effort to maintain a relationship.

OP, not saying that's how you are, but there might be something else going on that you don't realize that put her in the same mindset that I'm at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can never apologize or admit when she's wrong. I am so tired of having to take the high road, be the bigger person, and basically ignore her transgressions. The most recent situation between us was of her making yet I am the one who is having to reach out and try to make things better. The way she is treating me - icing me out, not responding to my attempts to communicate - is so not fair. I try to keep the peace for the sake of our children, but she clearly does not care. It is very upsetting.

Has anyone else been in this situation where you feel like you are being treated so unfairly by your own sibling? Do you just hope it gets better? Because I don't know what else I can do as I obviously can't force her to talk to me.

"She can never apologize or admit when she's wrong." .... umm maybe you're the one who is in the wrong?? Maybe you need to be the bigger person here? If there is negative toxic vibes between you two, then why force the situation? I prefer not be around people who are going to put me in a bad mood.

Have you reflected on YOUR words/actions? Think about the conversations you had or if you sent texts go back and reread them from the beginning of the conversation. Seriously. You likely have a part in this situation, but aren't acknowledging it

I don't have a relationship with my sister. There is a significant age difference, and she lives 500 miles away. On top of that, she's definitely the never wrong, I always have to "understand" type (and our parents buy into this because, despite the fact that we're both over 30, they still think of her as the little sister who doesn't know any better) - so I gave up after she sent me a missive explaining all the ways in which I had hurt her over the years and not once admitted any contribution to the problem.

Honestly, I don't miss her. I've got enough going on without her constant drama. I don't thinks she's a bad person, I just don't have the emotional energy to deal with her.

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 50 and still single. Guess why?

+!, mine is in a long term relationship that has gone no where.