Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 14:08     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You really don't have to get him anything for Christmas. At most get him stuff he needs (clothes or books) and tell him why he didn't get his wish list. He's already been given a warning.


This is cruel. OP, I have problems with my 6 yo son speaking rudely, yelling, stomping, whining, etc. However, I see a noticeable difference in his behavior when I manage to stay calm and be rude to him (doesn't mean no consequences- just no yelling, sounding irritated a lot, etc). They really do copy what they hear and experience. Good luck.


Seriously. He could turn into a caring, generous, respectful, loving adult, but he would never forget the Christmas that his parents treated him cruelly on Christmas.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 14:07     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
You should give him up for adoption. You don't sound like you can handle a 6 year old OP
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 14:03     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
NOt be rude to him
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 14:02     Subject: Re:I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:OP, you've made a mistake posting here. You will now be endlessly insulted and blamed for everything. You will be told you need therapy and are unhinged. That they pity your son.

Most on here cannot contemplate having a truly difficult child. It is draining and overwhelming. You can do better but it is really damn hard. Odds are you will have a long had road ahead of you. It will get worse when he is a teen.

It is true that you need different techniques but I am sorry for the difficulty you are having. Good luck.


Kids are like dogs. Personality travels down the leash. They'll act like they are raised. The easiest way to change a kid's behavior is to change your own.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 14:02     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:You really don't have to get him anything for Christmas. At most get him stuff he needs (clothes or books) and tell him why he didn't get his wish list. He's already been given a warning.


This is cruel. OP, I have problems with my 6 yo son speaking rudely, yelling, stomping, whining, etc. However, I see a noticeable difference in his behavior when I manage to stay calm and be rude to him (doesn't mean no consequences- just no yelling, sounding irritated a lot, etc). They really do copy what they hear and experience. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 13:59     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:"What's the matter with you?" Wtf? Why would you ask that to anyone, much less your kid? If a coworker asked me that I'd be pissed. No wonder he doesn't like you.


Yes, that's nasty, OP, even if you don't realize it. Sounds like he's just mirroring the behavior he sees in you, which all kids do.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 13:32     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He is disrespectful and will grudgingly apologize when prompted, but clearly we do not get along and he neither likes nor respects me.

This morning, I asked, "What's the matter with you?" He responded, "What's the matter with YOU?" In the car I told him that God and Santa are watching and neither one is pleased with his behavior. I then told him that I could get in touch with Santa and see to it that he got no presents this year. That shut his mouth. He will be in his room after school.

I am thinking to put a note from Santa in the stocking expressing disappointment that this child cannot be kind and loving and respectful. But oh, how I WISH I could just give him nothing but a huge stocking of coal and NO PRESENTS AT ALL.

rant over.


People don't understand what it is like to have a kid with horrible behaviors and how you can lose it. This could have been a conversation with my 7 year old. His behavior has gotten much better but we have our moments, a lot. See if things are better after school, when you have both cooled down. Sometimes we need a complete change of pace to change the behavior for the day and putting him in his room hours later probably wouldn't help. BUT I get it. I understand how at moments you want to give coal or nothing.


And it's never your fault, right? It's always the fault of the person who is young enough to have never known a world without the iPhone 3 or a black president?
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 13:22     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:He is disrespectful and will grudgingly apologize when prompted, but clearly we do not get along and he neither likes nor respects me.

This morning, I asked, "What's the matter with you?" He responded, "What's the matter with YOU?" In the car I told him that God and Santa are watching and neither one is pleased with his behavior. I then told him that I could get in touch with Santa and see to it that he got no presents this year. That shut his mouth. He will be in his room after school.

I am thinking to put a note from Santa in the stocking expressing disappointment that this child cannot be kind and loving and respectful. But oh, how I WISH I could just give him nothing but a huge stocking of coal and NO PRESENTS AT ALL.

rant over.


People don't understand what it is like to have a kid with horrible behaviors and how you can lose it. This could have been a conversation with my 7 year old. His behavior has gotten much better but we have our moments, a lot. See if things are better after school, when you have both cooled down. Sometimes we need a complete change of pace to change the behavior for the day and putting him in his room hours later probably wouldn't help. BUT I get it. I understand how at moments you want to give coal or nothing.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 13:21     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
OP you need to get therapy to help you with your child. You can't be a good parent with the level of anger you have toward your child. Hopefully your child has a good relationship with his father so he feels liked and loved by one care giver.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:52     Subject: Re:I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:OP I am just so so sad for your child.

I also wonder if this is the OP who had posted several months ago about her 6 year old (but it was a DD then) always "touching Mommy's things."


This poster: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/444729.page
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:51     Subject: Re:I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
OP I am just so so sad for your child.

I also wonder if this is the OP who had posted several months ago about her 6 year old (but it was a DD then) always "touching Mommy's things."
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:49     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Some kids are harder to parent than others, but you are the adult and you have to model the behavior that you want to see. If you shame and belittle him, of course he's going to show you disrespect because you don't respect him. Kids are smart and even at 6, they know how the adults in their lives feel about them.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:48     Subject: Re:I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I totally understand OP. I had one like yours. He grew up into an ugly adult. Do I blame myself ? No. He was a difficult child from the start. Inherited his father's family genes. Nothing I did made him that way.

Don't listen to the perfect parents here. They know nothing.

Do your best and pray for the rest.

BTW, my other 4 were very good so one out of 5 ain't bad.


OMG OP if this isn't a wake up call to you--that THIS is the person on your side--I don't know what is.


No kidding... Poor son seems like he was the family scapegoat.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:46     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
Anonymous wrote:In the car I told him that God and Santa are watching and neither one is pleased with his behavior.


This is a big mistake. You are complaining that he doesn't respect YOU, yet you warn him that OTHERS are displeased. He needs to respect you, not (imaginary) figures.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2015 12:45     Subject: I would like to give my 6YO a lump of coal
My kids are the worst behaved in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Every year. It will pass, if this is not normal behavior.