Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

And her right to not like it.
It may sound crazy that this issue could be a make it or break it one but relationships are about compromise and truly wanting to make the other person happy. He is kind of failing that test right now.
Think of the bigger issues that can come up later on...and he may not be willing to compromise or acknowledge what will make her happy.
She is willing to compromise with a neater, shorter beard. He should meet her there.

She is going have a lot of marital problems is she needs to control everything including his hair.

The bigger issue is she is gong to be a disaster of a wife if she does to get rid of her princess complex and realize what is important in life.

NP but it doesn't sound like it's about control. She has a visceral loathing of a big bushy beard. What should she do, pretend that she's attracted to him regardless and stew in silence? Nothing wrong with OP.

I suggest seeing past the beard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

And her right to not like it.
It may sound crazy that this issue could be a make it or break it one but relationships are about compromise and truly wanting to make the other person happy. He is kind of failing that test right now.
Think of the bigger issues that can come up later on...and he may not be willing to compromise or acknowledge what will make her happy.
She is willing to compromise with a neater, shorter beard. He should meet her there.

She is going have a lot of marital problems is she needs to control everything including his hair.

The bigger issue is she is gong to be a disaster of a wife if she does to get rid of her princess complex and realize what is important in life.

OP Here: how do you figure that I like to "control everything"? I simply said that I'm not into the big bushy beard that he has going on. I don't know how that makes me an awful person. I didn't even say that I wanted Him to shave the stupid thing, just that I'd like it if he could at least trim it a bit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

And her right to not like it.
It may sound crazy that this issue could be a make it or break it one but relationships are about compromise and truly wanting to make the other person happy. He is kind of failing that test right now.
Think of the bigger issues that can come up later on...and he may not be willing to compromise or acknowledge what will make her happy.
She is willing to compromise with a neater, shorter beard. He should meet her there.

She is going have a lot of marital problems is she needs to control everything including his hair.

The bigger issue is she is gong to be a disaster of a wife if she does to get rid of her princess complex and realize what is important in life.

NP but it doesn't sound like it's about control. She has a visceral loathing of a big bushy beard. What should she do, pretend that she's attracted to him regardless and stew in silence? Nothing wrong with OP.

Just not a fan of trying to control a partner's appearance either actively or passively (withholding affection? Really?). Too much like the threads where guys complain they aren't attracted to their wives because of the baby weight, etc.

Tell him you hate his beard. Maybe he'll trim it, maybe not.

If he doesn't then decide: do I dislike this enough to break up with him.

It's just like anything else - people make decisions about what they do or what they look like - and then have to face the consequences of those decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

And her right to not like it.
It may sound crazy that this issue could be a make it or break it one but relationships are about compromise and truly wanting to make the other person happy. He is kind of failing that test right now.
Think of the bigger issues that can come up later on...and he may not be willing to compromise or acknowledge what will make her happy.
She is willing to compromise with a neater, shorter beard. He should meet her there.

She is going have a lot of marital problems is she needs to control everything including his hair.

The bigger issue is she is gong to be a disaster of a wife if she does to get rid of her princess complex and realize what is important in life.

If you really wanted to get passive aggressive OP, get a pack of bubblegum, chew it while cuddled up next to him and "accidentally" pop/spit out a huge bubble into his beard.

When you reach to pick it out, "accidentally" stretch it onto more of his beard.

Then help him trim down the beard, tell him how much sexier he is clean shaven, followed by a bj or something else to reinforce that idea. Mention how much more turned on you are by him without the beard.

Men are simple minded. Its like Pavlovs dog with sex instead of treats... be sure to reward him if he cleans up all the way or at least keep it trimmed down.

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

And her right to not like it.
It may sound crazy that this issue could be a make it or break it one but relationships are about compromise and truly wanting to make the other person happy. He is kind of failing that test right now.
Think of the bigger issues that can come up later on...and he may not be willing to compromise or acknowledge what will make her happy.
She is willing to compromise with a neater, shorter beard. He should meet her there.

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

Maybe, but if she's anything like me, it's turning her off sexually.

OP, tell him the truth. Say "BF, I know you love the beard, but it turns me off."

You're not married yet, so it's OK to dump him for somebody more superficially attractive. I did that with lots of guys. I moved in with someone I was attracted to sexually and then married him years later. We're still attracted to each other. That doesn't happen very often. It's not happening to you now. You deserve to enjoy that attraction. If he doesn't get it, give it to someone else.

You're still young. Go have fun!

Yes, his choice. But you need to make it clear that it is a problem for YOU and not be passive aggressive about it. If you have not been extremely explicit about how you feel about the beard, it's time to do that. And then he, in charge of his own body, can decide if the beard or your opinion/affection are more important to him. And then you decide what to do with that information.

My husband grew a beard once. It was fine for a while and then I told him I didn't care for it because it was scratchy and made him smell different (and made me want to kiss him less). He shaved it shortly after and hasn't grown one since.

(sidenote: Asking him to trim the beard before the holidays is a cop-out. This should be about him and you, not about how you feel he will be perceived by your family or other people because of the beard.)

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

So say your husband or wife or whatever shaved their head completely or gained 100 lbs...you wouldn't care at all?

Anonymous wrote:Lots of super-helpful tips here:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/508011.page#7772098

Tl;dr - your a bad person for caring

Haha. Chickens coming home to roost.

Lots of super-helpful tips here:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/508011.page#7772098

Tl;dr - your a bad person for caring

His body. His choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get over it. Are you that shallow?

OP here- no I'm not shallow but when we first met, he had none and now he has one on the verge of looking like one of those duck dynasty guys.

So? Don't cut your hair, or gain weight, or change the color of your hair, or dress differently, or change or evolve in any way.

Or check with him first and get permission.