For once, I agree with wacky Catholic poster. Early parenthood is a time of service. It's that simple.

I'm a man and SAHD. I see it like this: Before there were any kids, there was just you and him. It may be difficult to keep up your pre-kid routine, but you need to do your absolute best. Having kids may be as much of a strain on you as it is him and (I know for me) sex is the ultimate stress reliever. Being denied it, just compounds the stress even further. So many relationships fail after kids and I really think it's due to the mentality of "I'm tired because we have kids." If he's not pulling his weight, then that's a different issue altogether. But my opinion is that a happy marriage is one where sex is abundant. No one should be denied that in a marriage (there are exceptions of course). It's the one thing you can't get from someone else (at least you shouldn't). I can talk about my problems to anybody. I can share a laugh, but sex is between me and my wife and if she isn't giving it then that's a problem. Just make him do all the work and lay there and take a nap if it sucks. Now if he's a crappy lover then that's his problem.

I'm jealous. We are working on our sexless marriage now.

I think meeting in the middle. Tell him you will give him much more quality, and even initiate, 2-3 times a week and make it worth it. Then actually do this!

OMG this is HILARTIOUS and awful at the same time. I’m a horny little freak show. But DW does not like to sex when her breasts are full. And when we’re both free, and awake, Baby is also awake. I remember those days when we had semi-daily sex. But shit once a day, every day. Tell him to get some porn and love himself.

Right now DW and I are looking at 1 or 2 times a week, I think I’m going to start re-evaluating out schedules and fit in some more daytime sex. Maybe right after I come home from work.

Anonymous wrote:Oh how i feel for you. Mine does not only expect it daily, but several times a day on a weekend day. I want to kill him, honestly. We only have 1 kid so it's not that hard, but I just don't know how it is possible to revive the desire in less than 24 hours, honestly. Of course back in the day when we were in college it was easier, but honestly I think I was stupid then and did not have much else to do, and while I have grown he is the same...

How on earth does anyone with a child have sex several times a day on a weekend day? Is it a baby who sleeps a lot?

Working on a 10 day dry-spell currently. Wife has declined 4 out of the 5 times I've tried to initiate this month. We have a good marriage and like each other; but this kind of pattern grinds a guy down after awhile.

My DH gives into me once a month if I am lucky. In fact we are going on a two month dry spell right now. I just want to tell you to enjoy your DH , you don't know what the future will bring. My DH was a sex fiend early on in our marriage. 2xs a day would have made him happy. I didn't appreciate it, and of course as I got older I got more interested in sex. He had heart surgery at age 36 and has never been the same. I love him dearly, but I miss those days.

Nice reply, I married an Asian woman as well; I too do not have this problem.

Anonymous wrote:A need for nightly sex is not normal.

Hand him some porn and a bottle of lube and tell him to go take care of himself while you get some sleep.

I married to an Asian woman; I don't have this problem!

Anonymous wrote:My husband wants it all the time, too. Seriously- leave me alone to be pregnant and raise the other two kids. On the up side, he is really grateful and happy to get it once or twice a week. He also knows he's getting it while he can because once I have a child on the breast it will go down to even less than that.

Yes, seriously, leave me alone, and let's push our marriage here: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/251985.page

Is "you should be grateful you're getting any" the best way to have a happy relationship? Or a good way to cause resentment? Come on people, this is supposed to be a nice thing.

My husband wants it all the time, too. Seriously- leave me alone to be pregnant and raise the other two kids. On the up side, he is really grateful and happy to get it once or twice a week. He also knows he's getting it while he can because once I have a child on the breast it will go down to even less than that.

Yes, OP - we sexless people want to know how often you are putting out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is being a big selfish baby. You guys are lucky there is any sex going on at all.

Sounds like someone is craky they are not getting any...!

OP: IMO it's better that way than "DH doesn't want me at all." It's not always easy to balance desires, but it's totally doable as long as you make sure egos don't get bruised. Maybe make sure you don't just say "not tonight dear" which can sound like rejection. What about something like "you're incrediby hot and I can't wait to jump you, I just need to get some rest tonight okay?" Works for me.

Good luck!

PP here, meant "cranky" not "craky"

Anonymous wrote:He is being a big selfish baby. You guys are lucky there is any sex going on at all.

Sounds like someone is craky they are not getting any...!

OP: IMO it's better that way than "DH doesn't want me at all." It's not always easy to balance desires, but it's totally doable as long as you make sure egos don't get bruised. Maybe make sure you don't just say "not tonight dear" which can sound like rejection. What about something like "you're incrediby hot and I can't wait to jump you, I just need to get some rest tonight okay?" Works for me.

Good luck!

Oh how i feel for you. Mine does not only expect it daily, but several times a day on a weekend day. I want to kill him, honestly. We only have 1 kid so it's not that hard, but I just don't know how it is possible to revive the desire in less than 24 hours, honestly. Of course back in the day when we were in college it was easier, but honestly I think I was stupid then and did not have much else to do, and while I have grown he is the same...