maybe he should get a neuro psych eval

it's odd for a kid with two parents that smart to do so poorly and be so unmotivated

He could continue to work part time at the job and go to community college.

Anonymous wrote:I know you might be struggling with whether he should be going to college.

My take, unless he is opposed to it, it is better for him to college and get it out of the way in his early 20s while his peers are doing it too, than take a long gap or work and possibly never get a good opportunity to go, especially as he gets older.

Going away to college teaches a lot about becoming an adult. You don’t have to spend a lot, but Cs get degrees. He may also blossom and get more responsible and independent from ages 18-22 while being at school.

It’s more likely that he continues to bump along. This is a textbook case for a gap year or community college.

I know you might be struggling with whether he should be going to college.

My take, unless he is opposed to it, it is better for him to college and get it out of the way in his early 20s while his peers are doing it too, than take a long gap or work and possibly never get a good opportunity to go, especially as he gets older.

Going away to college teaches a lot about becoming an adult. You don’t have to spend a lot, but Cs get degrees. He may also blossom and get more responsible and independent from ages 18-22 while being at school.

I was a teacher for 30 years. Your child sounds like a prime candidate for a year or two at NOVA and then transfer to Tech/UVA/JMU.
Over the years I had a number of kids who didn't get into their first choice school but transferred after a year at NOVA. If your kid isn't interested in college maybe just taking one or two classes will help him figure out if college is what he wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many colleges that take everyone who can pay tuition.

Not helpful. Was hoping for specific recommendations of not awful schools that are affordable.

What is affordable to you? No one on this board knows your finances so that's going to make it hard for people to respond intelligently.

For specific recommendations, you've told us basically nothing about what type of school environment is appealing to your kid. So, how about Gettysburg College, Muhlenberg College, or Ithaca College.

Thanks. Kid is introverted and has little interest in college. But has two Ivy League grad parents, one with a PhD. So we don't even know where to start with this. Money is not a huge issue, but we're not rich enough to afford some of the most expensive schools comfortably, but in any case my husband refuses to spend a ton of money on a kid who doesn't even want to go. Low grades are due mainly to working too much (he has a part time job he loves and he works as much as he can) and also just not liking school work.

He is not you. You need to drop your expectations based on your experience and help him achieve his own goals. If he doesn't want to go to college, what does he want to do? Listen non-judgementally, making sure he knows that you'll love and support him even if he chooses a non-academic path.

He wants to play video games all night and sleep all day. If he had some other passion, believe me, we'd be encouraging it.

Have you had him evaluated for depression?

Virginia has a wealth of lower tier publics outside of UVA, VT, and W&M. Christopher Newport, ODU, Longwood, Mary Washington, Radford, maybe VCU.

You might explore gap year options at the same time — even if he applies and gets in, a break might be good.

Some ideas from this thread. Dont let this board discourage you. I definitely recommend the awesomely average fb group as well.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1210685.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is his part-time job that he loves?

I don't want to give too many details for privacy reasons, but it isn't something that could be a career.

Why not? Or if not a lifetime career, a job until/unless he wants something different.

I can't think of any job that an adult can't hold.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many colleges that take everyone who can pay tuition.

Not helpful. Was hoping for specific recommendations of not awful schools that are affordable.

What is affordable to you? No one on this board knows your finances so that's going to make it hard for people to respond intelligently.

For specific recommendations, you've told us basically nothing about what type of school environment is appealing to your kid. So, how about Gettysburg College, Muhlenberg College, or Ithaca College.

Thanks. Kid is introverted and has little interest in college. But has two Ivy League grad parents, one with a PhD. So we don't even know where to start with this. Money is not a huge issue, but we're not rich enough to afford some of the most expensive schools comfortably, but in any case my husband refuses to spend a ton of money on a kid who doesn't even want to go. Low grades are due mainly to working too much (he has a part time job he loves and he works as much as he can) and also just not liking school work.

He is not you. You need to drop your expectations based on your experience and help him achieve his own goals. If he doesn't want to go to college, what does he want to do? Listen non-judgementally, making sure he knows that you'll love and support him even if he chooses a non-academic path.

He wants to play video games all night and sleep all day. If he had some other passion, believe me, we'd be encouraging it.

Anonymous wrote:Highly recommend joining the “College Admission Advice for Awesomely Average Kids” FB group. He will have options! Maybe places like UMW, ODU, VCU, and Radford for in-state publics. I’d also look into some of the medium-sized Jesuit colleges like Loyola MD, Scranton, and St. Joe’s.

Thank you for this. I checked and it looks like some of those would take him even with his low GPA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many colleges that take everyone who can pay tuition.

Not helpful. Was hoping for specific recommendations of not awful schools that are affordable.

What is affordable to you? No one on this board knows your finances so that's going to make it hard for people to respond intelligently.

For specific recommendations, you've told us basically nothing about what type of school environment is appealing to your kid. So, how about Gettysburg College, Muhlenberg College, or Ithaca College.

Thanks. Kid is introverted and has little interest in college. But has two Ivy League grad parents, one with a PhD. So we don't even know where to start with this. Money is not a huge issue, but we're not rich enough to afford some of the most expensive schools comfortably, but in any case my husband refuses to spend a ton of money on a kid who doesn't even want to go. Low grades are due mainly to working too much (he has a part time job he loves and he works as much as he can) and also just not liking school work.

In this case, maybe just let him work and take community college classes. Will have a lot more options if he does well there.

+1

I get that as Ivy League grads, you and your spouse probably assumed 4-year college is the next step, but it sounds like he doesn’t really want that. Let him work, take a few community college classes. He could also look into some certifications or training related to what he likes to do. He might eventually find his way back to applying to a 4-year school if it makes sense for his path later on.

I started at a T25 LAC and dropped out after freshman year. I wanted to and should have at least taken a gap year, and was convinced not to by my parents, and then struggled and was put on academic probation at college before dropping out, getting a secretarial job, and working for 5 years before going back to school full time and graduating magna cum laude.

All that to say — your kid will figure it out, and his path may mortify/terrify you as much as mine did my mom, but he’ll get there his own way.

Anonymous wrote:What is his part-time job that he loves?

I don't want to give too many details for privacy reasons, but it isn't something that could be a career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many colleges that take everyone who can pay tuition.

Not helpful. Was hoping for specific recommendations of not awful schools that are affordable.

What is affordable to you? No one on this board knows your finances so that's going to make it hard for people to respond intelligently.

For specific recommendations, you've told us basically nothing about what type of school environment is appealing to your kid. So, how about Gettysburg College, Muhlenberg College, or Ithaca College.

Thanks. Kid is introverted and has little interest in college. But has two Ivy League grad parents, one with a PhD. So we don't even know where to start with this. Money is not a huge issue, but we're not rich enough to afford some of the most expensive schools comfortably, but in any case my husband refuses to spend a ton of money on a kid who doesn't even want to go. Low grades are due mainly to working too much (he has a part time job he loves and he works as much as he can) and also just not liking school work.

He is not you. You need to drop your expectations based on your experience and help him achieve his own goals. If he doesn't want to go to college, what does he want to do? Listen non-judgementally, making sure he knows that you'll love and support him even if he chooses a non-academic path.

What is his part-time job that he loves?