Anonymous wrote:I don’t think this is so far from normal. It sounds like she can control her emotions in a variety of situations. Mental illness tends to permeate every area of life.

Personally, I would wake her up at 6. If she gets through the morning without a tantrum, then great. She can watch television or something. If she has a tantrum, then she misses her free time, and you don’t go into a panic.
I have three kids too, and one kid flipping out 5-10 minutes before we needed to get out the door has the whole household spiraling out of control.

I disagree. Some people have an amazing capacity to hold in and mask what is going on in their heads, until it builds to a head and explodes, often over something minor that seems too small for the big reaction. That's a red flag of masking.

I think Rachel Bailey would help you. I mentioned her in this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1175698.page#26471976

Specifically the trigger idea I talked about for you (you're worried about being late, her future, ruining everyone's day, etc., which is not helping--you need a different true story to tell your brain) but also joint problem solving (not during the meltdown), Rachel's concept of "yuck" which your child is in about her hair. She needs to travel the "yuck curve" and can't respond to rationality during the yuck, like someone else mentioned.

She has a podcast if you're looking for free stuff and also various paid programs. You can probably Google FPCS parent resource center and her name and find a YouTube video training to get an idea of her stuff. It took me a while to start to think her way, but it really does help.

This is not a real fix but can she shower at night, one less time consuming morning tax for you to monitor.

Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut and get the neuropsych. Pediatricians and therapists are not trained to diagnose. You know what you see.

This, all day this. Trust your gut. School just isn't that difficult for a bright kid at this age. It all falls apart in high school. Get her tested now.

Anonymous wrote:Op - is there any medication that could help? Is there any in patient treatment where young kids can go for more intensive therapy?

Prozac is usually what is tried first anecdotally from other parents.

My child did Prozac, when they didn't work well, we switched to Zoloft.

I would try to get someone to prescribe her meds. I was really hesitant to go that route with my ADHD kid but it has made his and the whole family's life so much better.

I don’t think this is so far from normal. It sounds like she can control her emotions in a variety of situations. Mental illness tends to permeate every area of life.

Personally, I would wake her up at 6. If she gets through the morning without a tantrum, then great. She can watch television or something. If she has a tantrum, then she misses her free time, and you don’t go into a panic.
I have three kids too, and one kid flipping out 5-10 minutes before we needed to get out the door has the whole household spiraling out of control.

OP I am sorry you are dealing with this. All respect to your DH but there is a lot of you doing stuff in the morning in your narrative so I am guessing you are the primary parent. Trust your gut and get the neuropsych. If any parent thinks it's necessary, it is.

Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut and get the neuropsych. Pediatricians and therapists are not trained to diagnose. You know what you see.

That’s not so easy to do if OP’s DH isn’t onboard. They cost like $5k and you need to do a lot of work to prepare plus you need to take off work three times.

Also a neuropsych isn’t the answer for everything. It has limited use. If the behavior is related to cognitive functioning, it might give insight. But if the behavior is rooted in mental health it might not be helpful at all. That would be best diagnosed through a psychiatrist.

OP, one thing that struck me is this. If any one of my kids weren’t shower in the morning, 45 minutes wouldn’t be nearly enough time to get them out the door. I will never understand what takes them so long, but it just takes forever.

Virtual therapy for a 6 or 7 year old and continuing it for 3 years is practically unethical. That is low quality therapy, which unfortunately is rampant. I believe in therapy but on paper this seems bad, and in reality it’s not helping you.
Small practical matter- is a morning shower necessary? My kids couldn’t pull that off. A night shower could work better. Her current morning seems too rushed and stressful for her. I can’t take quick showers either!

Anonymous wrote:I would get some kind of parenting therapy/behavioral therapy. You’re on the right track trying to ignore the behavior but it seems like you could use some more advice on structure and discipline. I wouldn’t worry about trying to get a diagnosis for now because you’re going to want to try behavioral therapy first - this isn’t the kind of kid that needs meds as a first line treatment. And also a diagnosis is not therapy and you don’t need one to get behavioral supports. (Our behavioral psychologist specifically said diagnosis did not make a difference - if the treatment she offered failed then we could try something more targeted.) Behavioral psychologists will be very familiar with the kind of behavior you are describing.

Unless it's adhd which it sounds like it very could be, no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut and get the neuropsych. Pediatricians and therapists are not trained to diagnose. You know what you see.

Yes they are trained to diagnose. But a neuropsych takes 6months/year and provides zero therapy. Save the time and money and go straight to therapy.

I wouldn't trust a pediatrician to diagnose unless it was a very obvious case and this is not.

OP, if you want to start with your pediatrician, fine but ask for the Vanderbilt ADHD test to fill out for the home and school/social environment. Also consider the neuropsych for the possibility of high functioning ASD.

Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut and get the neuropsych. Pediatricians and therapists are not trained to diagnose. You know what you see.

Agree.

Your situation sounds familiar. Ped and therapist and years of teachers weren't able to diagnose but neuropsych and ados pointed to AuDHD and anxiety.

Op - is there any medication that could help? Is there any in patient treatment where young kids can go for more intensive therapy?

I’d push for the neuro psych evaluation and in person therapy. It sounds like your husband needs an expert to acknowledge something is off - mine is similar.