Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 12:19     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:They're drunks and don't want to "notice" that they have a drinking problem so they want you be a drunk too with them. Hurts their self-esteem a lot less.


+1
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:59     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
They're drunks and don't want to "notice" that they have a drinking problem so they want you be a drunk too with them. Hurts their self-esteem a lot less.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:44     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of us have friends who don’t drink, are former alcoholics, are pregnant at time, on WW, etc and don’t drink and there is no issue.

But you do seem from the way you write that you have a chip on your shoulder about drinking .


OP mentioned being married 31 years, so presumably she's at least in her 50s? Maybe it's generational.

I'm 30 and have plenty of friends who don't drink, it's never been an issue (and we're always mindful of splitting a tab fairly, having "fun" nonalc options available at parties we host, etc). I feel like the mocktail has had a major surge in popularity in the past few years. "California sober" is also pretty common these days-- people who don't drink alcohol but do use cannabis.


I think English is their 2nd language and they don’t understand nuanced languages or joking.

I doubt anybody is forcing her to drink.

It’s no different than someone offering you birthday cake and you’re like I’m on a diet and they say come on just take a small piece it’s a special oak occasion.

She just doesn’t get social situations
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:42     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for everyone's thoughts. The person who told me about drinking is my husband. We vary greatly on our thoughts of alcohol. He doesn't usually drink while at home besides maybe a beer or two a few times a year. But he believes if you are socializing, you need to drink to have fun. He's an introvert himself so the alcohol lets his inhibitions down so he can let loose. After being together for 31 years, he still thinks I should drink even though he has seen me have fun and socialize without alcohol.


I'm an introvert and posted upthread about having never been drunk or buzzed and overall, not drinking. Your husband is using his introversion as an excuse to drink. Sorry he isn't capable of having sober fun. That's sad. He needs to STFU about how you attain fun and socialize. He can worry about himself.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:39     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of us have friends who don’t drink, are former alcoholics, are pregnant at time, on WW, etc and don’t drink and there is no issue.

But you do seem from the way you write that you have a chip on your shoulder about drinking .


If it came off as I have a chip on my shoulder I don't. I'm still very annoyed by the discussion last night. I'm fine with anyone drinking as long as they don't feel the need to push there you should drink opinions on me. Then I'll push back with why do you feel the need to drink.


It sounds like you're projecting an argument with your husband onto society as a whole.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:39     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:Most of us have friends who don’t drink, are former alcoholics, are pregnant at time, on WW, etc and don’t drink and there is no issue.

But you do seem from the way you write that you have a chip on your shoulder about drinking .


OP mentioned being married 31 years, so presumably she's at least in her 50s? Maybe it's generational.

I'm 30 and have plenty of friends who don't drink, it's never been an issue (and we're always mindful of splitting a tab fairly, having "fun" nonalc options available at parties we host, etc). I feel like the mocktail has had a major surge in popularity in the past few years. "California sober" is also pretty common these days-- people who don't drink alcohol but do use cannabis.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:38     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:Most of us have friends who don’t drink, are former alcoholics, are pregnant at time, on WW, etc and don’t drink and there is no issue.

But you do seem from the way you write that you have a chip on your shoulder about drinking .


If it came off as I have a chip on my shoulder I don't. I'm still very annoyed by the discussion last night. I'm fine with anyone drinking as long as they don't feel the need to push there you should drink opinions on me. Then I'll push back with why do you feel the need to drink.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:21     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Most of us have friends who don’t drink, are former alcoholics, are pregnant at time, on WW, etc and don’t drink and there is no issue.

But you do seem from the way you write that you have a chip on your shoulder about drinking .
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:18     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:I rarely drink. I'll enjoy a drink (one single drink) every now and then, like maybe 5-15 drinks over the course of an entire year. But I absolutely don't need it.

Admittedly, I do judge people who feel the need to drink at social events - they're masking something, or using alcohol as a crutch to get them through, and I think that's harmful.

An occasional celebratory drink is one thing. Normalizing it every time you get together or have an event, is indicative of a problem. And if you need more than one drink to get a buzz, then you definitely have a problem because your tolerance is completely muted.


This is all just your opinion, not fact.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:17     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
I don't usually drink when out with others. I just don't want the alcohol so I don't order it -- full stop.

I won't say I don't drink, because occasionally I will have a glass of wine when out at a special dinner with my husband. But that is maybe 2-3 times per year and that's it.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:14     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
I have a lot of thoughts on this - here's my thread on this from a little over a year ago:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1133852.page

I don't care if people drink. I feel bad for someone that has a drinking problem. I've been there and it sucks.

I tend to think people that pressure others to drink have an issue with alcohol themselves.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:08     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
Anonymous wrote:I don't go to social events where there is drinking? It's never been a problem.


How is this possible? Do all of your friends not drink, ever?
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:07     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
Frankly, OP, your thread title made me think that YOU were drunk when writing it.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 11:07     Subject: People that ain't drink when others are
Op here. Thanks for everyone's thoughts. The person who told me about drinking is my husband. We vary greatly on our thoughts of alcohol. He doesn't usually drink while at home besides maybe a beer or two a few times a year. But he believes if you are socializing, you need to drink to have fun. He's an introvert himself so the alcohol let's his inhibitions down so he can let loose. After being together for 31 years, he still thinks I should drink even though he has seen me have fun and socialize without alcohol.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2024 10:56     Subject: Re:People that ain't drink when others are
I don’t care what other people think.