PSA in social situations with alcohol...

[Anonymous]

If someone is not drinking alcohol at a party or function it's really ok, and even preferable, to not comment on, or make a big deal out of it. There are a lot of reasons why someone might not be drinking. And if you've just met the person then it's totally fine to just not comment.

I was at an event/special occasion yesterday where lots of drinking was involved. I stopped drinking about 8 months ago after struggling with alcohol for years. Not many people know this because I was able to hold it together publicly/work wise, and of course I didn't share how much i was drinking in private. I was meeting most of the people at this event for the first time as it was for someone we all know for different reasons. I'm not particularly interested in sharing the whole story with them.

Anyway, my NA drinks were commented on by a couple people and by one person who was very invested in getting me to drink something alcoholic. Like I had to publicly refuse them numerous times. One of the other people there even joked that I was a recovering alcoholic as a deflection. I had never met that person, so it's not like they had any idea.

Late in to the evening I finally blurted out, "I don't drink" after have yet another alcoholic beverage foisted on me. At that point I was sitting next to a woman who doesn't know me hugely well, but certainly knows that I used to drink as I drank a whole lot during a dinner at her house once.

I'm thankful that I'm at the point where I was comfortable to continue to refuse. But just want to put this out there - please don't do this to people. Thanks.

Anyway,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone is not drinking alcohol at a party or function it's really ok, and even preferable, to not comment on, or make a big deal out of it. There are a lot of reasons why someone might not be drinking. And if you've just met the person then it's totally fine to just not comment.

I was at an event/special occasion yesterday where lots of drinking was involved. I stopped drinking about 8 months ago after struggling with alcohol for years. Not many people know this because I was able to hold it together publicly/work wise, and of course I didn't share how much i was drinking in private. I was meeting most of the people at this event for the first time as it was for someone we all know for different reasons. I'm not particularly interested in sharing the whole story with them.

Anyway, my NA drinks were commented on by a couple people and by one person who was very invested in getting me to drink something alcoholic. Like I had to publicly refuse them numerous times. One of the other people there even joked that I was a recovering alcoholic as a deflection. I had never met that person, so it's not like they had any idea.

Late in to the evening I finally blurted out, "I don't drink" after have yet another alcoholic beverage foisted on me. At that point I was sitting next to a woman who doesn't know me hugely well, but certainly knows that I used to drink as I drank a whole lot during a dinner at her house once.

I'm thankful that I'm at the point where I was comfortable to continue to refuse. But just want to put this out there - please don't do this to people. Thanks.

Anyway,

^^Ugh - that stupid anyway is a typo.

[Anonymous]

I never notice or care or comment on what people are drinking or not drinking. It's so bizarre that anyone would.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry people are giving you a hard time, OP. I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste, and it’s so weird to me how invested people are in convincing me that I should. No one gives me anywhere near this much grief about the fact I don’t eat leafy greens (which I also don’t like) and those are at least good for me.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this happened to you. That sucks. What if you had just said the first time, “I don’t drink alcohol”? Who cares if you used to drink, you don’t have to explain to anyone why you don’t drink now.

[Anonymous]

Can you avoid such parties in the future?

It sucks that there were so many crappy people at one event.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Maybe you could say you started a new medication and can't drink. You shouldn't have to, but it could help.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that sucks, OP. I do drink — but only have 1/2 — never to get drunk (I hate this feeling at this stage of my life). I find that the people who make tons of comments about how much others drink seem to often have difficulties with alcohol themselves (e.g. drink too much).

[Anonymous]

Get sparkling water with lime next time. Loons fancy and gives you something to sip on. Or come in a “rum and Coke” glass and do the same.

People shouldn’t comment but they do so just work around it.

[Anonymous]

Well, look back at all those years you were struggling with alcohol and ask yourself how many times you did this to others?

The truth is, the people with drinking problems are the ones most invested in making sure others drink. The rest of us don’t care.

So maybe have some empathy for their struggle.

[Anonymous]

Agree - everyone stop worrying about what others are or aren't drinking. Worry about yourselves!

[Anonymous]

Good PSA. I quit drinking alcohol when I was trying to get pregnant, which wound up going on for a long time because of infertility, and the questions were annoying as well as they "ooooh, are you pregnant?" because often I was not, and didn't want to be reminded of it, and didn't want to talk about it at parties with people who are rude enough to interrogate someone because they noticed they are drinking a La Croix instead of a beer.

[Anonymous]

OP My DH stopped drinking alcohol in 2005 and still has the occasional asshat try to foist an alcoholic drink on him. FWIW he just very calmly says "no thank you" and has sparkling water. Every. Single. Time.

It will get easier as you age, people in their 30s are probably the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP My DH stopped drinking alcohol in 2005 and still has the occasional asshat try to foist an alcoholic drink on him. FWIW he just very calmly says "no thank you" and has sparkling water. Every. Single. Time.

It will get easier as you age, people in their 30s are probably the worst.

OP here - we are all 50/close to 50!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry people are giving you a hard time, OP. I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste, and it’s so weird to me how invested people are in convincing me that I should. No one gives me anywhere near this much grief about the fact I don’t eat leafy greens (which I also don’t like) and those are at least good for me.

I also dont like the taste of alcohol, and I HATE the taste of beer. Is that a thing?
Because I also feel so harassed, enough that I have figured out how to like wine.
I have never had a problem or anywhere near it with alcohol, and yet I am irritated at all the people who push it on me, AND I drink wine because of it in social situations!