Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 14:34     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
I cannot take you seriously when you just told us that your household income is almost $300K. WTF, OP, you're wealthy.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 14:30     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:Our family was pretty LMC when we were growing up and one of the common theme in our life that bonded us was struggling to make a good life for ourselves. I do pretty ok for myself with a 110k salary and with a DH who makes 200k-150k. My sister however married a trust fund kid who is set to inherit about 20 mil or after his parents pass. They do pretty well for a couple in their early thirties (300k-350k hhi) but the thought that she will be a multimillionaire in our lifetime is…staggering to me. Like I can’t process it because it changes how I view her?

I find myself feeling insecure and embarrassed around her and my BIL. It’s like no matter how many raises I get… I’ll never catch up to her blessings. And suddenly all of the things that keep me up at night ( saving for retirement, college for kids, downpayment for a house) are just…none issues for her. And she’s changed too, more relaxed and content. She has that relaxed easy going rich girl vibe now. It’s insane how money changes you.

Yeah…it’s a lot of mixed feelings..


You control your own destiny. If you want to get rich quick and catch up to her, nothing stops you from divorcing your husband, and marrying a trust fund kid.
Maybe you'll even do better and man who is rich outright. There is gold out there, you just need to dig it.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 14:17     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:What on earth? You make over $300K so there should be no concerns with money.


$300k is no longer enough around here to be comfortable.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1112837.page
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 13:56     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A rising tide raises all ships. You should be happy for your sister and for your kids bc it sounds like I’m the event of something devastating, there will be a close family member who could help them out.

I also find it incredibly tacky that your sister knows the amount and has told you. We were raised not to talk about money bc it brings out the worst in people like you. We are set to inherit what I assume will be a similar amount from one side and significantly more from the other. We would never tell anyone that and ever do anything in our life based on that. Things change, nothing is set in stone.


Sorry, don't buy it. There's no way you will not be inheriting tens of millions if it is coming from both sides. You are definitely counting on it even though you claim not to be.


NP. You can't fathom that someone who grew up LMC wouldn't be over the moon thrilled with the security OP's sister is likely to have and share that excitement with a sibling who knows exactly how incredible this is? Your privilege is showing.

Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 13:03     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister

It's her husband's inheritance, not hers. He could keep all of it and divorce her.

So she has to be careful with her money, OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 12:59     Subject: Re:Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:Girl… hopefully theyre not going to inherit that money until you guys are well into retirement. Also, it depends on her remaining married to her husband. Dh and I both come from well off families, but he will probably inherit significantly more- this feels like such a long way off and doesn’t have much impact on our day to life, apart the gifts our parents give us now- like help with down payment or telling us they will fund college for our kids, so we don’t need to contribute to 529s for them. Also tragically, something could happen to our marriage or dh or me in which case, we wouldn’t inherit anything from our spouse.

You need to get over such an eventual difference in lifestyle. And even if they inherited the money tomorrow, she’d still be your sister. My siblings are all more professionally successful than I am and comparison is the thief of joy.


Also, for the reasons stated above, dh and I still fully save for retirement. We are “relaxed” in the sense that our parents are a safety net and we’d never be on the streets if we lost our jobs, but we hope our parents will be around for a long time and inheritance shouldn’t really be our plan. We’ve been given a head start with the gifts, which we are very grateful for, but it doesn’t change anything else about our day to day life.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 12:55     Subject: Re:Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Girl… hopefully theyre not going to inherit that money until you guys are well into retirement. Also, it depends on her remaining married to her husband. Dh and I both come from well off families, but he will probably inherit significantly more- this feels like such a long way off and doesn’t have much impact on our day to life, apart the gifts our parents give us now- like help with down payment or telling us they will fund college for our kids, so we don’t need to contribute to 529s for them. Also tragically, something could happen to our marriage or dh or me in which case, we wouldn’t inherit anything from our spouse.

You need to get over such an eventual difference in lifestyle. And even if they inherited the money tomorrow, she’d still be your sister. My siblings are all more professionally successful than I am and comparison is the thief of joy.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 12:12     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:A rising tide raises all ships. You should be happy for your sister and for your kids bc it sounds like I’m the event of something devastating, there will be a close family member who could help them out.

I also find it incredibly tacky that your sister knows the amount and has told you. We were raised not to talk about money bc it brings out the worst in people like you. We are set to inherit what I assume will be a similar amount from one side and significantly more from the other. We would never tell anyone that and ever do anything in our life based on that. Things change, nothing is set in stone.


Sorry, don't buy it. There's no way you will not be inheriting tens of millions if it is coming from both sides. You are definitely counting on it even though you claim not to be.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 10:26     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:She won’t be a multi millionaire. She will be married to one. That money will be in trust and I guarantee that in the event of death or divorce she will not get any. I am sure the parents have drafted it such that at his death, it goes to their kids. Not your sister.

And, the parents could change their mind.

Right now you guys both have the same household income that places you in the top five percent in the country.


This. The money will belong to her DH not her. If she grew up LMC she and you may not understand this. Also a lot of things happen between now and then. A lot.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 10:09     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Yr sis wins
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 10:08     Subject: Re:Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
I never say this, but you have got to be a troll.

the fact that you called yourself LMC with an income of over 300,000 is what tipped me off.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 10:04     Subject: Re:Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Anonymous wrote:You posed this same question already.

Troll.

👿 😈


Troll.


+1

This post screams “troll.”
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 10:01     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
They could be long divorced by then.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 09:11     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
What would you do if your worst enemy became rich?
😂
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 09:10     Subject: Anxiety about relating to (recently) rich sister
Is this a problem? How is this something you are spending even one minute of your time thinking about. Envy is a bad look and a waste of time.